Sunday, August 31, 2014

Beauty Tips: Who needs magazines when you have a tween?

Okay, so I cannot take credit for the brilliance of this post. I am just going to start with that, right off the rip. 

I was upstairs pulling my daughters' beds apart (laundry day...ugh) and out falls this list from the 11 year old's bed. And I, being such a fine, upstanding mother, could NOT just put it back without looking! I mean, that would be against my moral motherly duties...right?! 

Okay, okay! I am just nosy. 

Whatevs. 

But you will be GLAD that I read it, you'll see....

Here's the highlights. (My thoughts are added in parenthesis.)

1. Putting cold cucumbers on your eyes can reduce puffiness and relieve stress.

(Okay. That makes sense. She must have snuck a Vogue upstairs or something...)

2. Lip gloss is the perfect finishing touch to ANY clothing 
ensemble.

(She MAY have gotten this one from me. I DO enjoy a good glossy finish! Just use my obsession for Randy Orton as a verification of that. AND the fact that I have around 20 tubes of lip gloss in my mom bag purse.)

3. Make sure to wash your face EVERY night before bed, even if it is late and you don't want to.

4. Worrying causes wrinkles. Make sure to not scrunch up your face when stressed.

(So THAT is why I am getting those crows feet. Ugh. How does one "avoid" face scrunching? I think I am doing it as I write this!)

5. Laughter is good for the body and soul and also brings colors to your face.

(Colors?? Just as long as it doesn't bring bright purple or something!)

6. Make sure to get your beauty sleep.

7. The mall is a social fishbowl. It is important to look your best.

(What the HECK? A social FISHBOWL?! What does that even MEAN?)

8. If you're out of blush, just pinch your cheeks a few times to bring some color to your face.

(Was she talking to my grandma recently?!)

9. DON'T pick at your face when nervous or anxious. Or chew on your lips.

10. Test foundation on your cheeks. The perfect color will should practically disappear.

11. If you have dark circles under your eyes, blush will help distract from that area.

(Pass the blush, yo! This momma's under eyes look like they were in a boxing match! But an even BETTER piece of advice for avoiding dark circles: Don't have kids! Then you can get enough sleep to avoid the whole problem!)

12. Give color a chance to enhance your mood.

(If that was all it took, I would just go around looking like Mimi of "The Drew Carrey Show" and be flying high folks!)

13. Crying will make your skin blotchy or red, but makes you feel better.

(True dat.)

14. A new lipstick can be as exciting as a new pair of jeans.

(Wow. Just. Wow. How exciting IS getting new jeans? Last time I went jeans shopping, I couldn't even consume enough wine! I can't EVER find a pair that fits right. And then when I do, the price tag makes me wanna keel right over. Not my kind of excitement. Somebody PLEASE clue me on how to jump on THIS train!)

15. Bangs are a good solution for people with big foreheads.

(Bwhahahahahahaha! That's good advice right there!)

16. Take suggestions for different kinds of makeup from people you trust.

(Ugh. I seriously hope the only makeup advice she ever asks for is from me! She is 11 for goodness sakes! And naturally beautiful. And besides, I have seen the way some of these middle school girls apply makeup...EEEEK!)

17. A POSITIVE ATTITUDE goes a long way when it comes to beauty in life. 

(I just love this girl. For real. I guess she IS listening AFTER ALL...<3)

Which beauty tip is YOUR fave?


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Monday, August 25, 2014

A Man and his Meat

Casa de Drama- A weekly summer recap in pictures 

In a surprising twist of fate, I find myself looking forward to summer break this year. Weird, I know! But nonetheless, here I am! To commemorate this (unexpected) feeling, I am kicking off this summer long series, where I will give you a glimpse into our daily lives through pictures and brief "recaps" of some of the funny things happening in this crazy zone we call home! 
Welcome to my Casa de Drama...




Well, we are ONE week closer to school starting (dancing a mini jig over here!) As I have felt my sanity edging closer and closer to the edge of the cliff, I decided that I needed a hard-core attitude adjustment. I need to STOP looking at everything in such a negative light (o. m. g. school is NEVER going to start) and try to find a positive for each negative (at least I don't have to worry about finding a babysitter for Brennan yet) <----see what I did right there?! ;) And the reality is, we DO have a lot of fun together....we just need some breaks from each other too! 
The hubs and I took such a break Thursday night (spontaneous date nights are an AWESOME perk of your kids getting old enough to stay home alone!) and regained a little bit of our humor. Yay! 

He ordered spaghetti with meat sauce AND meatballs. That's a whole lotta meat! I told him I was going to write a blog about it and name it "A Man and his Meat"...We laughed a LONG time about that one. Yea. We have dirty minds. And we are easy to entertain. You get that way when you spend all your time with kids! And you have to admit.... that IS a catchy title!

Here's some more fun stuff we did this week: 
 
I reclaimed the TV. DESPITE that absolutely adorable face right there ----->
The kids have been watching cartoons for HOURS, so I changed the channel to something I wanted to watch.
Brennan: *bringing me the remote* Can you put something else on?
Me: I just did.
Brennan: *patting my arm* I know. But you can have a re-do mom!

Too bad I couldn't reclaim my sanity...
I've reached the "6:00 bedtime" point of summer vacation.
#LosinMyMind
#WheresTheWine

Kk and I worked on a loom bracelet that she wanted. And by Kk and I, I mean mostly me. And Google. (It's about time them dumb bands were used for something other than clogging the vacuum!) Talk about  COMPLICATED! We didn't have the right colors and had to start over about 3 times. But in the end....

<------- NAILED IT! (Ha!)

What do you guys think??!  

...I think it will be my first and LAST loom bracelet!

Got the teen all registered for school. A big ole TENTH GRADER! Whew. Feeling extra old now! As you can see he is always SUPER thrilled to have his picture taken. I am going to ASSUME that middle finger holding the I.D. is coincidence....

In his defense, I probably would have been super irritated if I had to register for school with my 3 little sisters in tow too....ESPECIALLY since Kk decided to pull out her inner Middle Eastern and wear a shawl on her head and Brennan would NOT listen and stay with us. Poor kid. Someday his wife will thank me.


And these crazy girls... Sometimes I don't know WHAT to do with them!

See what I mean about Kk and the shawl??!
Jess: *rips a giant fart* Hubs: WOW! That was dad quality there!
Me: Well the one Kk let earlier was dad SMELL quality! 

Kk: Yea. Mine TOTALLY smell like yours, dad!
Jess: Well mine SOUND like dad's!
Kk: Nuh uh! Not as much as MINE do!
Me: Wow. You have totally corrupted the children. They are FIGHTING over whose FARTS are most like yours!
Hubs: Yup. I love my girls.


But I guess this is to be expected when I have been spending so much time at work... 

Either the thermostat is broken at work or I am turning part ice-cube (and not the rapper/actor yo!)....BRRRR! It says 75, but I have goosebumps and my hands are freeeeeeeezing!
By the time I leave at noon I may have to be removed by fork-lift. Please send help if I don't make it home.

And to make matters worse, Brennan is back on the baby kick! I don't think she is EVER going to give up!
Brennan: I want some new babies!
Me: oooh! I want some money!
Brennan: *kissing my face and whispering* Guess what I am going to get you for your birthday (which just passed in June by the way).....some money! And some sparkly stuff. Cuz I know how much YOU love sparkly stuff! AND money!
Me: mmmm. Thanks!
Brennan: Soooooooo....what are YOU going to get ME, hmmm?!
Aaaaand there it is! The REAL motive behind this sweet moment. I hope she meant dolls.


And that was our week in a nutshell. A crazy, dramatic, yet funny nutshell. Today is the hubs birthday, so I better get to baking his cake. I promised Brennan one too...
Brennan: Mooommmmaaaaa! I got a SURPRISE for you!
Me: OOOH! What is it??!
Brennan: I can't tell you! It's for tomorrow. And it needs some cake. So if you want to know what it is you have to make me some cake FIRST.

Cake, huh?! I guess this girl takes after me AFTER ALL. Looks like I am baking a cake tomorrow... OH WAIT! I already AM baking a cake tomorrow cuz it's the hubs birthday! Win! Win!


On that note, BYE! See you next week for the very last Casa de Drama post! The kids start back to school on September 2nd and summer will FINALLY officially be over around here!

 
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Sunday, August 17, 2014

According to a four year old...CHANGE STINKS!

My kids have been pretty lucky. They have never had to go to daycare. Never had to be away from me for 40+ hours a week. Don't get me wrong, I haven't been blessed (<---??) with being a stay-at-home mom, BUT I have gotten to work part-time and/or go to school for as long as they can really remember. And my husband and I have either worked opposite shifts or relied on grandparents as babysitters. 

They really have had it good. 

For the last year I have worked two days a week. On those days, Brennan either stays home with dad or her big brother OR she goes to her grandma's for the day (where she is spoiled with tons and tons of DumDum suckers and 7Up until I am SURE her teeth are going to rot right out of her head!) And she has (finally) gotten used to that arrangement. 

But, as life often does, things have changed recently. 

I picked up an extra day of work. ONE EXTRA DAY. And you would think that the world. was. ending. Brennan can NOT seem to cope with being away from me for one more day. (I am not sure if I should be flattered about that or not...) But ANYWAY...this all leads up to this wonderfully EMBARRASSING moment from yesterday...

Yesterday, we went to a family reunion. The big kind. Where your parents and their cousins and their cousin's kids, and their kid's kids, and your long, lost Aunt Sally ALL come together in a grand chaotic eating and visiting frenzy. THAT kind of reunion. Where you MAYBE know 10 of the 50+ people who are there, but you know you are all related SOMEHOW, so it's all good. And you let the kiddos run free (and cause all kinds of trouble with their new-found cousins/friends) and you sit and visit with the few people you DO recognize and pretty much FORGET you even BROUGHT your kids with you. 

Or at least that was what I was doing!

Until it was time to go. And then I went hunting for the kids. Roundin' 'em up, so to speak. And when I found Brennan, I found something else too! 

My daughter is a blabber mouth. And I don't necessarily mean the "good" kind! 

There she was, telling a distant I-don't-know-you cousin ALL about her horribly rotten parents. She was going on and on about how HER parents NEVER have ANY time for her. We just work NON-STOP. And we are gone ALL DAY and she is stuck at home with her big brother and her sisters and she doesn't like it. At. All! The way she was carrying on, you would have SWORN that I work 50-60 hours per week! 

Of course, I felt the need to clarify my position. I work THREE days a week. And I am home well before dinner. Every. Night. And I tuck her into bed. Every. Night. But that extra day....is just too much. THREE days, not five, or six, or seven...THREE.

And obviously Brennan is NOT okay with that.

Change stinks.

I wonder how on Earth she is going to cope with starting 1/2 day preschool in the fall??!


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Saturday, August 16, 2014

Garage Sale Queens (otherwise known as borderline hoarders)

Casa de Drama- A weekly summer recap in pictures 

In a surprising twist of fate, I find myself looking forward to summer break this year. Weird, I know! But nonetheless, here I am! To commemorate this (unexpected) feeling, I am kicking off this summer long series, where I will give you a glimpse into our daily lives through pictures and brief "recaps" of some of the funny things happening in this crazy zone we call home! 
Welcome to my Casa de Drama...




Summer is waning fast! Only 3 more weeks to go...WAIT....THREE MORE?! I keep seeing all these facebook posts "Jr.s first day of school" "Teary-eyed from dropping the kids at the bus stop" and other such nonsense. BLAH! I seriously CANNOT WAIT for that first day! I am just BARELY holding on to the last thread of my sanity. But hey, at least I am HOLDING ON! No sense lying about it now. This mom LOVES her children. And LOVES spending time with them. But ENOUGH is ENOUGH. The kids are tired of each other and that, in turn, makes me tired of them. The bickering, the selfishness, the whining, and the nonsense sends me right over the edge. Does that make me a bad mom? I don't think so. It makes me human. Imperfect. And I am totally okay with that.

But, even in the chaos, we still have love and we still have fun. Like this week we went garagesalin'...you know...the fine art of turning another man's junk into your borderline hoard. And nobody enjoys it MORE than my big girls! They scored BIG time! But first...

The weeks started out grand with us locking letting the kids play outside for more than a five minute increment...The kids have been *happily* playing outside for over an hour. 

Hubs: We should probably call the kids in...
Me: (looks at clock) Uh, do we HAVE to?! Can't we just leave them out there? They'd be okay out there overnight, right?! They could always sleep under the deck...
Hubs: Or in the car!
Me: YES! Besides, it's not even dark yet. Let's not give up so easily.
(Goes back to watching TV)
 

Five minutes later:
Hubs: We are bad. You know that right?!
Me: Nah. We are just smart. Now shut up before you jinx it.


Brennan made herself some pretty stylish new "glasses" out of her old sunglasses in order to be "like her big sisters" ....Aww factor: 5million!

And she also made me realize that I may not make it out of parenting ALIVE, when we had THIS conversation:
Me: Brennan! You are NOT supposed to be eating in the living room! (picking up plates and food)
Brennan: I know.
Me: THEN WHY DID YOU DO IT?
Brennan: Because I didn't hear you say the rules TODAY....you have to say them EVERY day if you want me to remember them!

Somedays, I am surprised that my head doesn't just explode from all the steam building up in there!


My daughter, Kk, wowed me with her awesomeness...

Yesterday morning Kk came downstairs wearing a cute little pair of overall shorts and a tank top. I told her how cute it was and she said, "Thanks. The kids at school made fun of me for wearing this last year. But ALL the teachers gave me compliments on how cute it was. So I wear it anyway because I like it and who cares what those dumb people think!" I seriously just LOVE this girl's I don't give a sh** attitude- MOST days anyway! She is her OWN person and most of the kids at school love her for it and those who don't...she figures it is their loss. (Which it TOTALLY is) I love that she doesn't let bullies and mean people hold her down from who she knows she is.  

 
WARNING: Explicit photo
------------------------------->
I also performed some incredibly difficult and delicate arm surgery on Brennan's creepy doll. 

The things moms must do for love are sometimes unspeakable!

THEN the hubs and I actually got a BREAK when Brennan had her first little sleepover!

We decided to celebrate... err... uh... ENJOY our freedom by seeing a movie!
Going to movies (to see Lucy) for an impromptu date night Pretty much the only ones here....And somebody just sat directly in front of us....when the theater is EMPTY....Am I the only one that thinks that is weird? Just wonderin'....

The teen had some fun this week too! We (the teen, myself, and Jess) are part of a puppet ministry team that does shows for local nursing homes and charities and we had a workshop this week and CREATED our own puppets. Like MADE THEM FROM SCRATCH. And the teen made this bad ass Bob Marley puppet. Complete with dreads. Word. 

I made one too, but it wasn't NEARLY as bad ass as this, so I am not going to show you!

We finished the week with some serious garage sales.  And the girls even had a moment of complete sisterly love!
Jess: Aww man, I can't spend any of my money at garage sales! (she is saving for a new tablet)
Kk: You can sell these things that I sewed if you want!
Jess: HOW?
Kk: Well I sewed them over at grandma's....
Jess: (interrupting) NO! HOW should I SELL them!?! Am I supposed to go to a garage sale where they are selling their OWN things and ask them to buy mine?!!
Kk: ....That's what *I* would do if I wanted some money! .....so do you want to sell them or not?!
 

We approach garagesalin' like extreme couponers shop! And we SCORED big time. We got ALL the STUFF (in the top photo) for less than $20!
Our biggest scores:
Jessi's zebra print jeans $1 (yea...the 80's called and wants their fashion back!) 

Kk's recorder complete with music sheets $.25 (Too bad that sucker didn't come with some free ear plugs for mom...YIKES!)

Hooker boots for Jess for $1 (Yes. I am aware how incredibly HORRIBLE that sounds! But them boots are borderline Julia Robert's in Pretty Woman.Just sayin'.) 
  
A Barbie horse for Brennan for $.50 (Which she complained about. Well, not really the horse, but the fact she didn't get more. And she wasn't even WITH us. Little snot!)


And THAT was our week. How was yours?

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Sunday, August 10, 2014

VBS to the Rescue!

Casa de Drama- A weekly summer recap in pictures 

In a surprising twist of fate, I find myself looking forward to summer break this year. Weird, I know! But nonetheless, here I am! To commemorate this (unexpected) feeling, I am kicking off this summer long series, where I will give you a glimpse into our daily lives through pictures and brief "recaps" of some of the funny things happening in this crazy zone we call home! 
Welcome to my Casa de Drama...






VBS Sports Camp- Kk enjoyed a week of learning martial arts!



Remember how I felt last week?! Well, this week was SLIGHTLY better. Only because of a wondrous creation at our church called V. B. S. (That stands for "vacation bible school" for those of you who have never heard of it before.) It's this great time where you can drop your kids off for 3 hours and enjoy some PEACE AND FREEDOM...err....I mean, where they can learn about God and have lots of fun while you go home and miss them immensely!

ANYWAY, while I enjoyed the evening break all week long from the older two girls, we still had Brennan and the teen at home. And the teen had band camp all week (and around here that means 9-5, you provide daily transportation, lunch, and STILL pay money to go! ...I think we are getting jipped!) Soooo, that meant a week chock full of RUNNING. I was back to feeling like the school-time chauffeur! Which made me (slightly) re-think this "school needs to hurry up" mentality I have been fostering these last couple weeks. Reality is...summer is ALMOST over and we might as well enjoy every last drop of it.

Here is what WE did this week to get the most out of the dwindling summer:

 Monday, the kids went to Great Grandma's for the day while I worked. They had lots of fun and were super spoiled with movies and candy and playing in water watering grandma's flowers! Then the big girls went to VBS and the hubs and I took Brennan out to dinner at Cracker Barrel. (I had a gift card. And who turns down free food?! Not ME!)

Tuesday was back to reality. For both me AND the kids. Momma had errands to run. That's ALWAYS a treat!The girls made SURE I was entertained with their petty disagreements:
*who saw the "slugbug" first
*who was going to die because their seatbelt wasn't on (the car wasn't even out of park yet)
*underwear showing (Brennan decided to wear a dress today)
and
*who was "allowed" to sing along with the radio


I just ADORE breaking up arguments!
In the end, we survived. And the big girls got some sassy new glasses out of the deal. They are ready for school now! (And I was ready for a vacation. Again...VBS to the rescue!)

Brennan also kept us entertained this week with her usual silliness...

Brennan: Daddy?! What are you scared of? You gotta be scared of SOMETHING! Like me...I am scared of big smells...

Well, she obviously lives in the WRONG house for THAT phobia....

AND these little gems:
Brennan: (jiggling her dads belly and talking like you would to a dog) Who's my big boy?! Who is?! (Giggling) YOU are! Oh yes you are! (Blows a raspberry on his stomach)

Brennan: (to me) You're my buttercup! Wanna make a love story?


 Let's not forget the teen FINALLY got a haircut...it was starting to look like Chewbacca was nesting on the top of his head! Now he is back to his wonderfully handsome self for the start of 10th grade. Man, I am feeling sooooo old. Teenagers do that to you. So do tweens. 

Speaking of tweens, mine sure is a treat these days...
They grow up WAY. TOO. FAST. And that's a fact. And apparently you don't get any more privacy when they are teens than when they are toddlers!


Nothing like a little sisterly photo bombing!

Scene: Taking my morning constituational (WHAT? We ALL do it! And I drink coffee. Lots of coffee!)
Enter- Jess (11 yo daughter and tween delight)

Me: Do ya mind! I am trying to take a poop in here!
Jess: Eh. Not really. (Starts fixing her hair in the mirror)
Me: Well, I DO! Dang! Can't a woman poop in peace?! How old do you kids gotta be before I can have some PRI-VA-CY?!!
Jess: I don't know. Maybe 68?

(Throws toilet paper roll at her as she exits.)

Me: Um...can you please come back in here and hand me that toilet paper? That was NOT well thought out...


Making "sand angels" at the play park!
Brennan really does crack me up! What a pain it was to get all that sand washed out of her hair! And then, to top THAT off, THIS happened:
Me singing in bathroom mirror.
4yo daughter "You're doing it wrong, mom!"

#ReasonsWhyIHate
TheDisneyChannel 


At least I got a little bit of down time to finish off the week: 

 You know what's great?

Enjoying your morning coffee....in PEACE! The hubs took the kids to the museum and other entertaining ventures for the day and this momma gets the house to herself! Whatever shall I do to entertain myself?
*hehehe <----evil laugh*
AND then, this evening, I get to have a "girls night" with my friends?! Say whaaaaaat?!

Feeling spoiled. (But I deserve it!)


So I guess, over-all, I can't REALLY complain! I do have a GREAT husband. And a wonderful family. And even when I am at my wits end....I wouldn't trade them for the world. But I will enjoy a freebie break (like VBS) WHENEVER I can! 

And there is nothing wrong with that. 

How do YOU get a break?


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