tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48064628727288059212024-03-13T13:50:45.859-04:00A Day in the Life of a Drama Queen's MommaIt's hard work to be a mother...ESPECIALLY when your children are over dramatic! Follow my journey!A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.comBlogger67125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-49527149023910662862015-11-27T12:38:00.003-05:002015-11-27T12:45:00.863-05:00When life gets you down, turn on NetflixWhen your husband takes the kids to the mall on Black Friday JUST so you can write, you write!<br />
<br />
Or, maybe not.<br />
<br />
We all know that I have been sadly neglecting this little beauty of a blog recently. Life threw us a bit of a curveball, with an unexpected pregnancy that has knocked me flat on my backside for the better of two months now. I swear, I was beginning to think that the morning sickness was NEVER going to leave me alone. Most days, just getting out of bed, getting dressed, and heading to work was more than I could manage. And, because I have four kids and a husband who all depend on me too.....it was bye-bye writing!<br />
<br />
So today, while I am FINALLY starting to feel pretty good, the hubs decided to give me a morning alone to get some much needed writing completed. It all sounded good in theory, but I should have known, given my recent turn of events, that NOTHING would go the way that I was expecting.<br />
<br />
First, I had a complete shut-down of all creative juices. No matter WHAT I tried, my mind was a blank canvas. I went to Facebook to try and gain some inspiration, but even the great ideas my friends shot off at me went completely to poo as soon as I tried to form them into cohesive thought. FINALLY, after more than an hour of "brainstorming" I decided I better just fire up the ole laptop and write SOMETHING!<br />
<br />
Too bad my crappy laptop had other plans. It took over an hour just to boot the stupid thing up! (I guess taking a couple months off, made this sucker get lazy on me!) Then, once I got the dumb thing running, I couldn't get the internet to work. Then I couldn't get the page to load. Then my computer completely froze and I had to start the WHOLE PROCESS OVER. Ugh. I was JUST about to give up, when my blog FINALLY popped up.<br />
<br />
Man, am I glad that I had Netflix to keep me occupied while I was desperately trying to make use of my little bit of quiet "writing" time. I decided that because Black Friday OFFICIALLY marks the start of the crazy Christmas season, I would like to watch a good holiday inspired movie. Netflix has lots of choices in this genre, from traditional classics like "White Christmas" and "The Legend of Frosty Snowman" to funny films like "Christmas with the Kranks" and kid UN-friendly "Bad Santa." <br />
<br />
I decided to go with a movie I had never watched before, called "The Mistletones," about a girl who desperately wanted to be part of a popular singing group but had some major obstacles along the way. I thought I could probably relate, given my life the last couple months and even my challenging morning.<br />
<br />
It was a good choice. I loved all the Christmas music and fun singing and it kept me humming even though I was getting pretty frustrated with my junky laptop. Sometimes, you just have to find joy in the little things. That is a lesson that is becoming more and more obvious to me as I battle my way through this pregnancy. Each day we need to look around us and find SOMETHING that is good, even if it is only Netflix and the endless choices of shows and movies. Because, some days, let's face it, pjs and tv is about all that I can endure!<br />
<br />
Until next time....keep streaming <3<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.netflix.com/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="105" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7aQexCv4Bwc/VEMouOgsSJI/AAAAAAAAA30/5r-51jCymQw/s400/netflix%2Blogo.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<em>I am a Netflix Brand ambassador. I am compensated with free service and other products for promoting Netflix on my blog, but trust me, I would be watching and recommending even if I wasn't!</em></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Hey you...do me a favor and give this banner a click! Every time you do, I am rated a little bit higher over at Top Mommy Blogs, a resource that sends readers and sponsors to my blog. I appreciate all you guys. Thanks for reading. AND for clicking! xoxo</div>
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-23464403689026155712015-10-02T20:36:00.000-04:002015-10-02T20:36:29.252-04:00How Mighty Mug saved my life (or at least my morning commute)It never fails. Buy something nice for me....the kids ruin it. My favorite coffee travel mug was the latest casualty to this phenomenon. Despite repeatedly asking the kids to NOT put it into the dishwasher, I found it on those racks morning after morning, until the seal just fell off. I was so bummed. I LOVED that mug.<br />
<br />
And I NEEDED my morning coffee.<br />
<br />
I had to resort to taking mine to-go in a regular coffee cup which didn't even fit in my car cup holder.<br />
<br />
I am sure you can imagine how that turned out.<br />
<br />
So imagine my delight when, like magic, a couple days after my coffee wearing experience, I received an email asking me if I would like A FREE TRAVEL MUG.<br />
<br />
Ummm. Yeah! Sign. Me. Up. Yo!<br />
<br />
It was like divine intervention. I think I heard the angels singing the Hallelujah chorus! ....But it might have just been the abnormally loud TV. Dang kids.<br />
<br />
Regardless, I don't think I have EVER responded to an email so fast. The people over at Mighty Mug were quick to respond and apparently have a good sense of humor because my response may have included the bit about the angels. IT WAS TRUE! They wanted to GIVE me a mug. And all they wanted in return was for me to tell you guys all about my new mug and then give you a chance to win one too.<br />
<br />
Okay. I could do that. I mean...FREE MUG PEOPLE. And I could NOT keep taking my coffee to work in a stupid regular mug. I was desperate.<br />
<br />
But not for long.<br />
<br />
As soon as I received my online code, I went straight to their website to choose my mug. There were so many to choose from! Several different colors and sizes, some tall, some short, some plastic, some metal. I chose a pretty teal one that would for sure fit in my car cupholder. Unfortunately it does not fit under my k-cup coffee maker spout, but they do have choices that will.<br />
<br />
Once making my selection, I proceeded to checkout, which was an incredibly easy affair, even when using a coupon code. All that was left was the wait, but thankfully even that was short! I received my mug a few short days later (THANK GOODNESS because my solution of stopping at McDonald's for a coffee every morning was starting to add up and my coffee was getting cold pretty darn fast!)<br />
<br />
I instantly took it out of the package to give it a try. I was intrigued by their claim that this mug WOULD NOT FALL OVER yet was easy to pick up.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uTZ8U0kY9lM/Vg8hr1cfQoI/AAAAAAAABqY/Rzt_2fmPPCc/s1600/mighty%2Bmug.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uTZ8U0kY9lM/Vg8hr1cfQoI/AAAAAAAABqY/Rzt_2fmPPCc/s320/mighty%2Bmug.jpg" width="192" /></a></div>
How on Earth would THAT work?<br />
<br />
Well, it has a little suction-cup type thing on the bottom, that helps attach the mug to any smooth service (your desk, the kitchen counter, the TV tray that I use to write with my laptop) and keeps it from being knocked over. COOLEST FEATURE EVER! I can't even TELL you how many times my kids have knocked over my cup of coffee on whatever I was working on the minute I stepped away!.<br />
<br />
Not anymore! Bring it on kids!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lvD1ULYgVD0/Vg8h2C4aoyI/AAAAAAAABqg/JdcKN4VpXRw/s1600/mighty%2Bmug%2Bwont%2Bknock%2Bover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lvD1ULYgVD0/Vg8h2C4aoyI/AAAAAAAABqg/JdcKN4VpXRw/s320/mighty%2Bmug%2Bwont%2Bknock%2Bover.jpg" width="192" /></a>Brennan and I had some fun trying to knock it over on the counter, but didn't succeed. Yet, when lifted straight up, the mug easily released it's kung-fu grip on my counter. Just. Like. Magic.<br />
<br />
How cool is that?!<br />
<span style="text-align: center;"><br />
</span> <span style="text-align: center;">I have been using my mug for over a week now and have had ZERO coffee casualties. I have also used it to take some orange juice to work, so you don't even have to be a coffee drinker to benefit from this sucker. I have also washed it in the top rack of the dishwasher (the package said this was okay!) and it is still working great.</span><br />
<br />
And I am not worried because they offer a 100% satisfaction guarantee.<br />
<br />
So what are you waiting for? GET YOURSELF ONE OF THESE! And maybe one for your best friend or your mom too. Visit <a href="http://www.themightymug.com/">www.themightymug.com</a> and order your favorite.<br />
<br />
AND JUST FOR YOU (because you are my favorite!) the awesome people over at Mighty Mug have volunteered to give a $30 giftcard (enough for a mug AND shipping in the U.S) to one lucky reader of this blog. All you have to do is ----> <a href="http://bemighty.themightymug.com/dqm/"><span style="font-size: large;">CLICK THIS LINK</span></a> <---- and fill out the form for your chance! GOOD LUCK!<br />
<br />
<i><b><span style="color: #e06666;">Anyone who applies is eligible to win. Readers outside of the U.S.A may have to pay additional shipping charges if they were to win. The giveaway ends next Thursday, October 8, at 9pm EST. So don't delay! The winner will be notified by the Mighty Mug company via email.</span></b></i><br />
<br />
<i>DISCLAIMER: I received a free mug in exchange for my review of this company. As always, I have given you my honest opinion based on my experience. Your experience may be different, but I highly doubt it.</i><br />
<br />
<b>If you have enjoyed this blog, please take a minute to CLICK. THIS. BANNER. and help my ranking over at Top Mommy Blogs. You guys rock! xoxo</b><br />
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a><br />
<br />A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-58763963975777535532015-09-14T06:00:00.000-04:002015-09-14T06:00:00.166-04:00The Great Tooth TragedyI am not a perfect parent. Despite my feeble efforts, I make a TON of mistakes.<br />
<br />
I know. Hard to believe, huh?<br />
<br />
For instance, there was the time that one teeny-tiny tooth ruined any chances for me being crowned "Mother of the Year."<br />
<br />
My nine year old daughter, Kk, had been trying to lose that stubborn little tooth for several weeks. You see, her grown up tooth was coming in and pushing on it, and it hurt!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sB7YqikfPhs/VfLuYe-k88I/AAAAAAAABpU/a5hCaaQTvyE/s1600/ID-100145883.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sB7YqikfPhs/VfLuYe-k88I/AAAAAAAABpU/a5hCaaQTvyE/s320/ID-100145883.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
So I encouraged her to start wiggling it.<br />
<br />
"Wiggle it every. single. day," I told her.<br />
<br />
What I did NOT tell her was to tell <i>me</i> every single time she did it. Needless to say, I heard a <i>lot</i> about that little ole tooth.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #a64d79;"></span>
Then, one day, during dinner. It <i>finally</i> happened. That stubborn little tooth was hanging by a thread and so I told Kk, "Just pull that sucker out already!" and SURPRISE! She actually did it!<br />
<br />
Out it popped. One tiny little white baby tooth. I told her very specifically "put the tooth in a baggie right now, so we don't lose it" and went on my way, assuming (I know! Stupid, stupid, stupid!) that she would follow my directions.<br />
<br />
A little while later, I was cleaning up the kitchen (Man those kids make a mess quick!) and there were a whole bunch of cups and bowls on the counter filled with water. So I emptied them. I cleaned out the sink, ran the disposer, washed down the counters and went on my merry way.<br />
<br />
I was feeling pretty proud that for once my kitchen was clean.<br />
<br />
Fast forward to bedtime. Kk comes running from the kitchen, frantic and crying something about a bowl and a tooth and wha wha wha....<br />
<br />
I don't speak whinese very well, but thankfully her older sister, Jessi, was there to translate,<br />
<br />
"Mom! Did you dump that bowl on the counter?"<br />
<br />
To which I happily replied, "Yea! I cleaned the whole kitchen up. Man, you guys really need to learn to pick up after yourselves...."<br />
<br />
"MOM! KK's TOOTH WAS IN THERE!"<br />
<br />
Say what? "I <i>thought</i> I told you guys to put it in a BAGGIE??"<br />
<br />
And then Kk chimes in (in whinese of course) "Buuuuuuuut Jesssiiiiiiii tooooooold meeeee toooo puuuuuut it in waaaaaater to get cleeeeeaaaaaan!" (Well, kid, that was your FIRST mistake. Don't EVER listen to your older sister's advice over your mother's! Then you wouldn't have these kinds of regrets! It's kind of too late now. That sucker is loooong gone. )<br />
<br />
"Ooooooh. I'm so sorry sweetie. Next time you better just follow directions. Then we wouldn't have these kinds of tooth tragedies..."<br />
<br />
A half hour later, apology note to tooth fairy written and placed ever so carefully under her pillow, she finally calmed down enough for bed.<br />
<br />
Whew!<br />
<br />
What a lot of hassle over one little tooth.<br />
<br />
Now, if the tooth fairy could only remember to come to our house...we'd be golden.<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #666666;">photo credit: antpkr via freedigitalphotos.net</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Thanks so much for reading! Please take a minute and click this banner. Each click helps more awesome readers find their way to this blog and could even help me make some money from this sucker! xoxo</span></i></b></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Vote for me @ Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images//banners/tmb-468x60-fast.gif" height="59" width="468" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-59407781134221889452015-09-11T09:34:00.000-04:002015-09-30T21:11:48.030-04:00How to accomplish things on your day off in 16 easy stepsStep 1<br />
Peel yourself out of a warm bed at the horrible screeching of your alarm clock. Find solace in the fact that in exactly one hour you will have EIGHT HOURS of uninterrupted silence.<br />
<br />
Step 2<br />
Hurry and help the kids get around for school. After all, nothing motivates a mother more than the promise of solitude! Be sure to almost forget to pack their lunches because last minute panic really gets your blood pumping.<br />
<br />
Step 3<br />
Dutifully stand at the bus stop with your kids and pretend to look disappointed <a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/2015/09/bus-driver-from-hell.html">when the bus FINALLY pulls in</a>. Refrain from doing cartwheels the whole way home. You don't want to spend your day off in the hospital (or give the neighbors anything else to whisper about you!)<br />
<br />
Step 4<br />
Make yourself a giant-sized cup of coffee to help you focus. Walk away while it brews and forget that you made it.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sQGpgAcydgo/VfLaBYA7mqI/AAAAAAAABpA/0n_-HxLCmHo/s1600/ID-100143574.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sQGpgAcydgo/VfLaBYA7mqI/AAAAAAAABpA/0n_-HxLCmHo/s320/ID-100143574.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
Step 5<br />
Hunt down a piece of paper and a pen to make a To-Do list for the day. Maybe in the desk? Nope. Not there. In the kitchen junk drawer? Of course not. WHERE ON EARTH ARE ALL THE WRITING UTENSILS IN THIS HOUSE?!!! Finally find a crayon in the bathroom and an old grocery store receipt. Whatever. It works.<br />
<br />
Step 6<br />
Begin writing your list. Set it down in the counter when you remember about your cup of coffee. Add creamer to your coffee and then set your cup down on the counter when you realize that you HAVE to at least do ONE load of laundry today.<br />
<br />
Step 7<br />
Head off to the laundry room. Try hard to refrain from looking into the children's rooms for dirty laundry, no sense getting yourself all worked up on your day off. Besides, if they have to wear dirty clothes tomorrow it will provide them with a valuable lesson about listening to their mother. Put some laundry in the washing machine. Head back to the kitchen to tackle that list.<br />
<br />
Step 8<br />
Completely ignoring the list, settle in at the kitchen table with your phone and catch up on the daily down-low (by scrolling through Facebook.) Remember about that cup of coffee. Oooh, it is still hot! Try to recall the last time you were able to enjoy your coffee without having to reheat it in the microwave fifteen times.<br />
<br />
Step 9<br />
Realize that it has been over an hour since putting the kids on the bus and you have not accomplished a thing on your list. Try and remember where you set that dumb ole thing. While searching for your list, remember that you work better when listening to music. Turn on the TV and search for the remote. Now where did the kids put that stupid thing? Turn the living room upside down looking for it. Find it in the bathroom.<br />
<br />
Step 10<br />
Now that you have the remote in hand, forget WHY you were looking for it, and settle in on the couch to catch up on some Netflix. You vaguely remember what it is like to pick the program. It feels good!<br />
<br />
Step 11<br />
After watching five episodes of your favorite show (THANK YOU, NETFLIX!), realize that you were SUPPOSED to be tackling that list! Whoops. Back to the list.<br />
<br />
Step 12<br />
OH NO! You forgot the laundry! Head to the laundry room to move the laundry to the dryer and start another load. Pat yourself on the back that you remembered BEFORE the mildew set in this time. You are so awesome.<br />
<br />
Step 13<br />
Open the dishwasher to start a load of dishes. Your phone rings. It's your mother. Answer it. After all, when was the last time you were able to chat without sounding like you had a severe case of Tourettes? And she knows that you are home alone and don't have an excuse for NOT answering. Catch up on ALL the latest family gossip. Realize you have been on the phone for almost half an hour. Tell your mother that you REALLY need to accomplish something today, so you will have to get off the phone. Listen as she tells you five more "important" things. Gently remind her that you need to hang up. Continue listening to her for another half hour. Pretend your other line is ringing to finally get off the phone.<br />
<br />
Step 14<br />
Head back to that list.<br />
<br />
Step 15<br />
Hear the distinct sound of a school bus rumbling down the road. Look at the clock. WHAT? It must be wrong! It is 3:00 already? Run to the laundry room to look like you are hard at work folding laundry as you hear the children's shouts outside, followed by the slamming of the door and the inevitable "MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM" that follows.<br />
<br />
Step 16<br />
Concede that you can't live in a perfectly clean house AND enjoy your day off. It just wasn't meant to be. Besides, <a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/2015/01/kids-hate-chores.html">kids NEED chores</a> to help build character and responsibility. You can try again next week. Now you get to tackle making dinner while helping with homework.<br />
<br />
And that is a whole new list.<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #666666;">photo credit: stock images at freedigitalphotos.net</span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>How do you enjoy YOUR day off? Share it with me in the comments!</b></div>
<br />
<i>Won't you please take a moment to click this banner? Every click helps improve my ranking on Top Mommy Blogs and makes me more visible to awesome readers like you. A quick review or comment on their site helps me even more. Thanks for all of your support!</i><br />
<i><br />
</i> <br />
<div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" style="cursor: move;" width="575" /></a></div>
</div>
<br />
<i><br />
</i> <i>DISCLOSURE: I am a Netflix Brand Ambassador. I receive free products and service for mentioning them in blog posts. But don't let this announcement fool you, I LOVE me some Netflix and would mention them for free.</i><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7aQexCv4Bwc/VEMouOgsSJI/AAAAAAAAA30/5r-51jCymQw/s1600/netflix%2Blogo.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="86" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7aQexCv4Bwc/VEMouOgsSJI/AAAAAAAAA30/5r-51jCymQw/s320/netflix%2Blogo.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Looking for something new to binge-on? Check out Netflix's new fall lineup! There is definitely something for everyone.<br />
<div style="background-color: white; clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 5px 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><table align="center" style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 380px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1442002880-e4caf305d1568830dbffeab2d3c9f2bf-81a8297?pa=33021272544" style="color: #e50914; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Scandal" class="CToWUd" height="112" src="https://ci6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/vNyz39eP3azTKadXas_CX-dimVLuMDK8uHRoIND0UbFJrvgbPacmprUTCHzi0X1udRVQJ6OtXRWZUTCCRgVRdyPcmsAcsUOUEpIjz8nKMawA4jBwD_i33TGciBwnz2KVNn5yLmyhLWdQFDiL=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/1028/5801/original/Scandal.jpg?1442001799" style="border-width: 0px;" width="200" /></a></div>
<div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
</div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 5px 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><table align="center" style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 380px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1442002880-35cabec70d2664377c5e79b990315aa0-81a8297?pa=33021272544" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="Once Upon a Time" class="CToWUd" height="112" src="https://ci6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/vWmkF73wqhr39939b4VdNakbu8qFnD5zp_F2tRF0wvHenwi7LUJZ1m5iinyZAiEdTejVlt2T4pOGH6HVWu2IfosxyoplLJ2JyfwQ0H-q6uP75_iLYgTrjZTNSxspRCI_s8YHOK-fOci7PrifHXV0ILs6ZQmu=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/1028/5828/original/Once_Upon_a_Time.jpg?1442002036" style="border-width: 0px;" width="200" /></a></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 5px 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><table align="center" style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 380px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1442002880-c9036e20a80bbd4e7f6cb906f78f1da2-81a8297?pa=33021272544" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="Gotham" class="CToWUd" height="112" src="https://ci6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/p7nrasXC4xjkiLjg5EaLAqa6H0P569eiVWy-UkNql3In5L-V8dgtTyxFEoqrz9sTXb6Fj6BrsdWroa5AHd6jxRuQc_64OtpRfBVUo5vLyceY4Srm1IaqmgIk1Agdu9Cnq1V2iYeRkK3vMb8=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/1028/2452/original/Gotham.jpg?1441982844" style="border-width: 0px;" width="200" /></a></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 5px 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><table align="center" style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 380px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1442002880-fb3665bd51436802024321dfc0cd96b5-81a8297?pa=33021272544" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="Walking Dead" class="CToWUd" height="112" src="https://ci5.googleusercontent.com/proxy/VONla8e3SXMufAebFlmzVu9cxqUCzAMQ2Dn6cS5kELIhQeb8aMWX71lkHE_JD6d_OHwPhUtbpCgddX-pe8L0cPU8YnDGGs_bCuMovOgZpTe4DkNRiABuUhjm6tal0OXeg0Hxll8wMGKOU7sVEj-YFFE=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/1028/5833/original/Walking_Dead.jpg?1442002085" style="border-width: 0px;" width="200" /></a></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 5px 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><table align="center" style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 380px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1442002880-60f40d929a0fd9f570ce0f332cd4d32c-81a8297?pa=33021272544" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="Blacklist" class="CToWUd" height="112" src="https://ci5.googleusercontent.com/proxy/c3wcCN7J58NoSzyrsWNVAFWe93NGxUYq5lCv620V3_QMC0EikKNQZ9PvTwSxwSN5-WeiKMc-KOMUVtAMLFy9qd20h5aLR8uom1U4QAj-EqWJJjVHghuzFiUMwq3p_AcBHpyswavthYP8T-pqvk8=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/1028/2434/original/Blacklist.jpg?1441982775" style="border-width: 0px;" width="200" /></a></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 5px 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><table align="center" style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 380px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1442002880-43bd4aa6599cd4bf3fa2d1c29b7fda81-81a8297?pa=33021272544" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="Grey s Anatomy" class="CToWUd" height="112" src="https://ci3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/6QdiJuXY0f3TzOKAUAvoJS3QpticttnG2-hLEsAfa6l3_fIuzMJgBjTMc3gWHzN_7kntSreK0SAktCDRiPNWoWwDIgkmqOh8TlRPEZ8M4ugXFupOXhl18fzid_T1P-hcgGJaq00wk8BrSCEJgDX_399Zbw=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/1028/5813/original/Grey_s_Anatomy.jpg?1442001904" style="border-width: 0px;" width="200" /></a></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 5px 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><table align="center" style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 380px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1442002880-978e03a05af72f3128393e3ae674f58a-81a8297?pa=33021272544" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="The League" class="CToWUd" height="112" src="https://ci4.googleusercontent.com/proxy/RDrYJ0MnGAE3OuBlPB7n7gB04Y9MJbwuMlXTKFj1DuX4nE91XMXaWccSUbwKOAmz9CBfdH-a-oUpeZx4LcgR4GvYPY6eis3MQwLuL15Fyh5oBL-M1uReEb3HhJ42jmH8DvJKjRWjvPc0mrOLx_m5=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/1028/2105/original/The_League.jpg?1441980822" style="border-width: 0px;" width="200" /></a></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 5px 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><table align="center" style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 380px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1442002880-780cfd885c616047795b384c56fdbf05-81a8297?pa=33021272544" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="Heroes" class="CToWUd" height="112" src="https://ci6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/PbrmLrqIx31Fd8h5Ei1Sd2wUQ_tFp2hph9sabFoVoH2LfqfVBycD5OtiUs73eEk4HT42hwTIRSVV8O8VxmCPYAW3G6UtRvJvTb3Ic1IuZaYUvoDHLqIEeRmDgHaPrfDBpC52mVck6RFvrEs=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/1028/2633/original/Heroes.jpg?1441983534" style="border-width: 0px;" width="200" /></a></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-5283780347514793462015-09-08T10:21:00.000-04:002015-09-08T10:21:26.348-04:00Bus Driver From HellBack to school. The time of year that parents everywhere have been counting down towards for the past several weeks. Not because we don't love our kids, but because we have been so busy caring for their every. single. desire for so long that now<i> </i>we need a breather.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aolBa1_Vl4o/Ve7tBrxPziI/AAAAAAAABoo/DlvceZd8F_0/s1600/ID-10032365.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="291" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aolBa1_Vl4o/Ve7tBrxPziI/AAAAAAAABoo/DlvceZd8F_0/s320/ID-10032365.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i><span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;">photo courtesy of Rawich at freedigitalphotos.net</span></i><br />
Sure, I have joked with the best of them about how much I want, no NEED, my kiddos to head back to school (and I certainly meant it at least half of the time!) But the reality is, as much as I need some sane time to refresh, and clean this giant pit-hole-of-a-house, I <i>do</i> miss them during the day and want for them to be safe. They are my babies. I am excited right alongside them. I cry for them when they hurt. I am scared for them, which brings me to today's topic: school buses.<br />
<br />
Riding the school bus is a necessity in our house. My husband and I both work outside of the home, making it near impossible to shuttle our four children (in three different schools with different school hours) back and forth to school each day. And so, each morning, we entrust our children's lives into the hands of another human being. The bus driver.<br />
<br />
Now, I don't envy that job for one single second. Just the mere <i>thought</i> of a vehicle full of excited, screaming, sometimes crying children makes me cringe. It certainly takes a certain (very brave) type of person to tackle that challenging job.<br />
<br />
And I respect that.<br />
<br />
With that being said, it is my opinion that is a person can <i>not</i> handle those types of situations with finesse (and an obscene amount of patience that I do not possess) than <i>maybe</i> the job of bus driver is not a good fit. It is not like that is the <i>only</i> job in the world. There are plenty more to choose from, and we live in a country where we are allowed the luxury of choosing.<br />
<br />
This is why I cannot seem to wrap my head around the fact that for the past several years we have been un-blessed with a HORRIBLE bus driver. She is rude. She is mean. She starts each day with a scowl and a gruff "Hurry up and sit down" and ends it with the same. And no amount of my kindness has been able to change it.<br />
<br />
She is <i>The</i> <i>Grinch</i> of the bus garage.<br />
<br />
Now, before you think I am just exaggerating, let me tell you how I know she is so horrible. Three years ago, she literally shut me in the bus door.<br />
<br />
Let that sink in. SHUT. ME. IN. THE. DOOR. OF. HER. BUS.<br />
<br />
After pulling in to the bus stop at the end of the day, she kept the bus door shut and was yelling at the kids. I could hear her from my apartment, which is around 100 feet from the bus stop. I proceeded to walk to the bus stop and patiently wait for her to open the bus door, which took her another five minutes, during which, she continued to scream at the children on the bus. Upon opening the door, I approached the bus stairs and kindly asked "Is there a problem on the bus today?" to which she proceeded to scream at me about how awful my children are. This took me aback, because even though they can be a challenge at home, they are always good at school. So, I apologized for her frustrations and nicely asked her to "Please refrain from screaming at my children on the bus. If they are challenging you, please let ME know and we will handle it appropriately at home." Apparently that statement sent this loon over the edge, because she shut the door, while I was still standing in it, put the bus into gear, and started to drive off. I had to JUMP out of the way!<br />
<br />
That whole debacle turned into a FULL YEAR of us battling the bus garage, because the bus tapes "mysteriously" dissappeared from that day, and we ended up driving our children to and from school daily for the rest of the school year. At the end of that school year, we were told by the bus garage that she had been "disciplined" and our children <i>should</i> be fine on the bus.<br />
<br />
The following year, we put our children back on the bus, only to have another issue. This time, she yanked my daughter back onto the bus by her backpack when she tried to exit the bus while being bitched out. And again, the tapes magically were not working that day. It took us several months, AGAIN, to battle the bus garage, and after threats of a lawsuit, we were given a new bus driver and a new bus route.<br />
<br />
Finally, we felt peace about our children riding the school bus.<br />
<br />
This year, our youngest child starts kindergarten. What a magical time of our lives! It should be exciting to see her skip to the bus stop, braids swinging. It <i>was</i> exciting this morning as I walked her to the bus stop for the very first day of school.<br />
<br />
Until the bus pulled in and we saw that same grumpy-faced bus driver of our nightmares sitting behind the wheel.<br />
<br />
Here's to hoping that we have a fun and safe school year. But if we don't, I won't be dealing with an extremely unhelpful and unjust bus garage this time around. <i>This</i> year, Momma Bear has her claws out.<br />
<br />
And the police department on speed dial.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Do your kids have to ride a school bus? How do you feel about that? Share your stories with me!</b></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<i><span style="color: magenta;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: magenta;">Miss me this summer? I sure missed you! We had a super busy (and fun) summer and I just couldn't find the time to write and my ranking over at Top Mommy proves it... I have slipped from the top of the list to the very bottom! Won't you please take a moment and give this banner a click? Every click helps improve my ranking and makes me more visible to awesome readers like you. Thanks for all of your support!</span></i><br />
<div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-13094577621110885492015-08-31T20:06:00.000-04:002015-08-31T20:07:20.730-04:00Four fun science experiments for your little scientist<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-K6c82Iiiq3E/VeTpVjoeolI/AAAAAAAABoE/tHtghglzrqE/s1600/Project%2BMC2%2BNetflix%2BStreamTeam.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-K6c82Iiiq3E/VeTpVjoeolI/AAAAAAAABoE/tHtghglzrqE/s320/Project%2BMC2%2BNetflix%2BStreamTeam.jpg" width="238" /></a>Has the summer turned your kids brains to mush? There is nothing like a little "science" to get their little minds turning again. (And JUST in time for school! Yay!)<br />
<br />
My kids LOVE science experiments. And they love making a big ole mess even more. We have done many a science "project" around this house and they ALWAYS end a ginormous mess. Thankfully, I have found a way for them to have some science fun and keep the clean-up to a minimum. Score!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-K6c82Iiiq3E/VeTpVjoeolI/AAAAAAAABoE/tHtghglzrqE/s1600/Project%2BMC2%2BNetflix%2BStreamTeam.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><br />
</a>So, if you have a blossoming scientist in your house, here are some quick and easy experiments that will satisfy their ever-growing curiosity. (Or at least give you a FEW minutes of peace. Hey, we gotta take what we can get as parents.)<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">1. The Lava Lamp</span><br />
What you need:<br />
Water bottle<br />
Vegetable oil<br />
Food coloring<br />
Effervescent tablet (Denture cleaner)<br />
<br />
Remove the label from the water bottle. Pour out 1/4 of the water. Add a couple drops of food coloring to the remaining water in the bottle. Mix well. Fill the bottle the rest of the way up with vegetable oil (leave a small space at the top of the bottle) Drop an effervescent tablet into the bottle and cap tightly. Watch the colored bubbles float around just like a lava lamp! For even more fun, shine a flashlight through the bottom of the water bottle.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">2. Ice Fishing</span><br />
What you need:<br />
Small plastic container<br />
Ice cubes<br />
Table salt<br />
String<br />
<br />
Fill the container 2/3 full with water. Add a couple ice cubes. Sprinkle some salt on top of the ice cubes and then lay the ice on top of the salted ice cubes. Wait about a minute, then lift the string to see how many ice cubes you caught. Try it again without the salt. How many do you catch both ways?<br />
<br />
<span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">3. Green Penny</span><br />
What you need:<br />
Small petri dish with lid (or a shallow container works just as well)<br />
Penny<br />
Paper towel<br />
Vinegar<br />
<br />
Fold a paper towel a few times so that it fits into the bottom of the petri dish. Pour in enough vinegar to soak the paper towel. Put the penny on the paper towel and cover the container. Take a look at the penny every few hours to see what happens. (Keep the penny in the dish for an entire day for best results.) Try the experiment with other coins and see what happens. Are the results the same?<br />
<br />
<span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">4. Morphing Straw</span><br />
What you need:<br />
Clear plastic jar<br />
Drinking Straws<br />
Cooking oil<br />
<br />
Fill the jar 1/2 full with oil. Put the straw into the jar until it touches the bottom and push it to one side of the jar. Bring the jar up to eye level and turn the jar slowly. Watch the straw. How does its appearance change as the jar turns? Can you make part of the straw dissapear? Try the experiment again using water instead of oil. Do you get the same results?<br />
<br />
**These experiments are brought to you courtesy of Netflix who provided my daughters with a very cool (and Top Secret) experiment kit in exchange for this post.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7aQexCv4Bwc/VEMouOgsSJI/AAAAAAAAA30/5r-51jCymQw/s1600/netflix%2Blogo.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="86" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7aQexCv4Bwc/VEMouOgsSJI/AAAAAAAAA30/5r-51jCymQw/s320/netflix%2Blogo.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
If you want more fun, check out the new original Netflix series Project MC2, where smart is the new cool. My girls really love this show and yours probably will too! Here is a sneak peak:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/tx2MwjCWYjk/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tx2MwjCWYjk?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<br />
Here are a few more shows that will get their little minds back into gear for the school year!<br />
<div style="background-color: white; clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 5px 0px;">
<br />
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;" width="530"><table align="center" style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 530px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><br /></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1438789397-0605e18e36eb36220b15a961255b2a7f-4840f87?pa=32150752119" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="60021788 hd1080 426x607" class="CToWUd" height="164" src="https://ci3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/If6GdLb4F9pWUtj2ALQo9LRpFqxbBs4KCCAdSF9LIwl8agpazFsEf1Sb2vmnxhNp4uc8CPqaS_RYEU3xAcPTFbutkQRovwY3RJ6oLtIp-GA_7s2bR6v6Wo3G4y-JOtNs5Gs3dG_0won12-rr1ePL6l6ri8A4Zux2x9x5wA=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0992/5062/original/60021788_hd1080_426x607.jpg?1437769615" style="border-width: 0px;" width="118" /></a><br />
<div align="left" style="clear: both; color: #221f1f; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-style: italic; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 1.5em; margin-top: 3px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">
Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius</div>
</div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1438789397-b59e3c05c06ba150ea1e0c958b5fc039-4840f87?pa=32150752119" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="70208106 hd1080 426x607" class="CToWUd" height="164" src="https://ci6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/T6BVzj09mzsJmwpeK0fWamHKzxYLfu4RSrsy92B8qyx7-1sWk09BIKG5nbZSS-jxzR0GAcqOH33NfyJb1PKAg3NXbnf__F9y-4GVjdq6GoU_j7eUUFugbSlZGauwDmTFGQ5OytRqyceUfApLfr7CtyP_MGG-2KkYdP_gug=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0992/5070/original/70208106_hd1080_426x607.jpg?1437769644" style="border-width: 0px;" width="117" /></a><br />
<div align="left" style="clear: both; color: #221f1f; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-style: italic; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 1.5em; margin-top: 3px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">
How the State Got Their Shapes</div>
</div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1438789397-623025370f9ff0fde9776d26cab60ac9-4840f87?pa=32150752119" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="80062985 hd1080 426x607" class="CToWUd" height="164" src="https://ci5.googleusercontent.com/proxy/Hf40c_V5I-LJttYdrIJBghCAe9wAa76UPOHbMU9T4A_uIGzvyAJsjgILeXlmLncYXFUu9dmjiT8GWtZGEaIuaIKzd_oh2Gti1NQdrOLkWrnt_pItde9SImVCUO57UjnB-9S2iHkjliurxvKW_9tH1hZSq4LKxJz7c9eaIw=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0995/6306/original/80062985_hd1080_426x607.jpg?1438210266" style="border-width: 0px;" width="117" /></a><br />
<div align="left" style="clear: both; color: #221f1f; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-style: italic; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 1.5em; margin-top: 3px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">
Odd Squad</div>
</div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 5px 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><table align="center" style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 389px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1438789397-dda7168b51d54b9d013c6b84175e3941-4840f87?pa=32150752119" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="80063156 hd1080 426x607" class="CToWUd" height="165" src="https://ci4.googleusercontent.com/proxy/_ywacBdlpOcZboeIztRZuv-FdY53_cuoQ3VmvWVMUL9dZB1JmDwee2nT7YOUD1nDHLYkMeXLKl-Xc6DtRKkV8SNfxVyASWwt9Jhhw29StI5f8yp7Vs-1khpPcJT381h52FNNs9oGL5Se2GGK4KLxt5z0NNep31WOoL68pg=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0995/6307/original/80063156_hd1080_426x607.jpg?1438210275" style="border-width: 0px;" width="117" /></a><br />
<div align="left" style="clear: both; color: #221f1f; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-style: italic; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 1.5em; margin-top: 3px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">
Reading Rainbow</div>
</div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1438789397-c282f0bbd49470a04c41c09cedbaacfe-4840f87?pa=32150752119" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="70264612 hd1080 426x607" class="CToWUd" height="165" src="https://ci6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/L-qNnZqZRXgUcEHnKhJ_PTksWfYZ7pGeBsx5Bm1HETRBrZDE8YLYeZodTLvAfVin2WSZeKvmcEh_TLZROjSmXvoKM5zUEZ1vxGkk27gMb2uzsUjEZD7PD-p86Z99YlB42HRZY3tFipnUn4mrR7_y6rMrszD369OKSJMU8g=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0992/5046/original/70264612_hd1080_426x607.jpg?1437769554" style="border-width: 0px;" width="115" /></a><br />
<div align="left" style="clear: both; color: #221f1f; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-style: italic; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 1.5em; margin-top: 3px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">
Magic School Bus</div>
</div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1438789397-84127a9e00f0d45d3b836f326e0315ec-4840f87?pa=32150752119" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="70180293 hd1080 426x607" class="CToWUd" height="165" src="https://ci4.googleusercontent.com/proxy/y0HX0qMdBRRfCvxzt5nzUwByDHITOrp22IvgriqduC9aTlW9POXF_b1mYQt6-CeArtuTt4uTlGo4OWVxvFSdFISdPioKR_V_ha-ovlt-AZz2vKXKW4pnnI6VHYYzXwXHoHrNTDvxovzwWI2WCzL8TLZM_H4DSTC6VIsLEw=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0992/5051/original/70180293_hd1080_426x607.jpg?1437769572" style="border-width: 0px;" width="117" /></a><br />
<div align="left" style="clear: both; color: #221f1f; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-style: italic; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 1.5em; margin-top: 3px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">
The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That!</div>
</div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>As always, thanks for reading! If you would please take a minute to click this banner, I would really appreciate it! </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a></div>
<i style="text-align: center;">Every click helps improve my ranking at Top Mommy Blogs which brings more traffic to this blog and it only takes a second of your time! xoxo</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-34382015441118257542015-06-16T10:40:00.000-04:002015-09-15T09:16:14.149-04:00A walk to the parkIf it is warm and sunny, chances are, your kids will want to go to the park. And since you have been on a fitness kick, you will decide that walking the half mile to the park is a great way to burn some extra calories so that you can afford to eat that bowl of ice cream you have been craving.<br />
<br />
So you will grab your phone and a book, lock the door, and you will walk.<br />
<br />
With your kids.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5_N3l-iVuwg/VYA0jBcymwI/AAAAAAAABl8/qQ3w0RMe8ps/s1600/Flowers%2Bon%2Bthe%2Bwalk%2Bto%2Bthe%2Bpark.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5_N3l-iVuwg/VYA0jBcymwI/AAAAAAAABl8/qQ3w0RMe8ps/s320/Flowers%2Bon%2Bthe%2Bwalk%2Bto%2Bthe%2Bpark.png" width="249" /></a></div>
Along that walk, your kids will notice some wildflowers growing, and they will pick you some. Their beautiful yellow bouquet will remind you that you are allergic to dandelions. Unfortunately it won't remind the kids, who will find that blowing the dandelion seeds is a delightful game that makes mom sneeze.<br />
<br />
All that laughter will remind the kids that it is always super fun to cross a busy street. Thankfully there aren't any cars coming as your five year old darts across it without looking. So you will run across the street too, screaming like a wild banshee, which will remind the kids that while crossing the street is fun, it is even <i>more</i> fun to run way ahead of you so that you have to chase them.<br />
<br />
All that running will remind you why you don't like running. It will remind the kids that trespassing through people's front yards and picking flowers out of their flower beds is even more fun than darting across a street while mom screams.<br />
<br />
You will finally reach the park, though your sanity may be trailing slightly behind the pack.<br />
<br />
Reaching the park will remind you that you brought a book and can maybe have five minutes of peace and quiet to catch up on some reading.<br />
<br />
Reaching the park will remind your kids that it is always fun to climb up to the top of the rope tower and scream for help getting down.<br />
<br />
You put down your book and head out to the rescue.<br />
<br />
Coaxing a frightened five year old down from the top of the playground equipment will remind you why it is stupid to bring a book to the park. It will remind your five year old that she really <i>does</i> love to climb that thing and she will climb back up again. And again. And again.<br />
<br />
You finally persuade her to try something different so that you can sit down with your book.<br />
<br />
Then your phone rings. It is your husband. He is on his way home from work. You attempt to spend two minutes talking to him and of course, that is when your five year old decides to climb up a twisty pole on her own and bumps her chin. You hang up the phone to comfort her.<br />
<br />
Bumping her chin will remind her that she hasn't been up the rope tower in a while and she will start that fun game all over again.<br />
<br />
You will finally get the kids playing independently and sit down to read your book.<br />
<br />
That is when you will notice that the temperature has dropped slightly and the sky is starting to get a little darker. Wait. Was that a raindrop? You are reminded that you have to walk home and you attempt to gather up the kids to start the trek back home.<br />
<br />
You telling the kids that it is about to rain and you need to leave, reminds them that they never went down the slide. And because you can't go to the park without going down the slide (five hundred times) they will run up the steps to go down the slide.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
You will feel another raindrop and remember that not only did you <i>walk</i> to the park, you are carrying a book and a cell phone and don't have any pockets. You will tell the kids that if they don't come now, they will have to find a new family because you are leaving, with or without them.<br />
<br />
This announcement will make your five year old run back up the steps to the top of the slide for "one last time."<br />
<br />
You feel another rain drop.<br />
<br />
Feeling the rain drop will remind your kids that you have to walk home. And they will come running. It will remind you that you don't have a safe place to put your phone to keep it from getting wet and you will set a faster pace.<br />
<br />
Seeing you walk faster, will remind the kids how fun it is to run way ahead of mom on the side of a busy street. You will run after them, screaming like a wild banshee. Again.<br />
<br />
You will feel more rain, as it starts to come down in a light sprinkle. This will remind your five year old that she really doesn't like rain which will set her into a panic. She will cry and carry on and act like she is sugar and the rain is going to wash her away.<br />
<br />
During all that fuss, the rain will start to come down even harder. That will remind your five year old that rain is wet. It will also remind her that when it rains <i>on</i> you, your clothes stick to you. That will cause her to panic even more. All that crying and carrying on will remind you why it is smart to check the weather <i>before</i> going on a walk to the park.<br />
<br />
You somehow make it home from the park without your five year old melting or you blowing your top. You get inside right as the rain stops. When the rain stops, the sun will come back out which will remind your kids that when it is warm and sunny...<br />
<br />
You want to go play at the park.<br />
<br />
This time, you drive.<br />
<br />
<div>
<div>
<i><b>Do me a favor, would ya? Click this banner. Every click is a vote which improves my ranking on Top Mommy blogs and brings new visitors to this site daily! You're the best. xoxo</b></i></div>
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a><b><br /></b><b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><i>Love what you read here? Follow me on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/dramaqueenmomma">Facebook</a> and <a href="http://www.twitter.com/momma_dramas">Twitter</a> too! And be sure to leave a comment, I love reading what you think of this blog! Without you, I would just be talking to myself and that's just weird.</i></b></div>
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-58145195069935426242015-05-30T10:07:00.002-04:002015-05-31T09:53:40.247-04:00It Takes a Village<img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8slO0SCnII4/VWnCue2disI/AAAAAAAABkY/buNAkT038a0/s1600/ID-10088899.jpg" style="display: none;" /><br />
Have you ever felt your life spiraling out of control?<br />
<br />
The bills. The laundry. The kids. THINGS. Just piling up.<br />
<br />
This was my life.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6wSYrXLVI4I/VWsOA6ZEagI/AAAAAAAABks/a3zTVA51D70/s1600/ID-100236486.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6wSYrXLVI4I/VWsOA6ZEagI/AAAAAAAABks/a3zTVA51D70/s320/ID-100236486.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
About six months ago, I made the choice to work more outside of the home. I had been working one day a week for over a year, but I was still <i>home</i> most of the time. I had the ability to devote the majority of my time to housework and mothering (and blogging and Netflix-ing).<br />
<br />
I had it made.<br />
<br />
Well, except for the times when the kids were home from school and bickering all day long. Those days I <i>wished</i> I was working outside of the home!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>My point is: I was able to get things done. </b></div>
<br />
But the bills were piling up. My husband's career in construction was wishy-washy at best. There were so many variables in whether or not he would be working, that a paycheck was never set in stone.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small; text-align: right;">stock photo courtesy of varandah </span><span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small; text-align: right;">via freedigitalphotos.net</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It appeared that things were going to have to change. I had spent two years going back to college to get a degree, mostly for something to do outside of the home, but now I would be required to put it to good use.</div>
<br />
I had to go back to work. So I did.<br />
<br />
But, in taking on a bread winning role, I had to back burner all the other things in my life. No more wasting away my days maintaining my blog and entertaining the masses. No more doing laundry while catching up on the latest Netflix shows. No more keeping the house clean. Period.<br />
<br />
These jobs were moved in to my husband's domain. (Well, except for the blogging. That has just fallen by the wayside most days. Sorry guys!) Don't get me wrong, he tries <i>really</i> hard to keep up with all the things, he does laundry...and even has the kids fold it. (Don't even get me STARTED on the crazy logistics of laundry location since this little policy has been started! I spend sooo many mornings hunting down my work clothes in somebody else's closet, or more realistically, under someone's bed!) <br />
<br />
He does the dishes and keeps the floors vacuumed.<br />
<br />
But let's face it....the organizing and de-cluttering and fine-tuning were non-existant.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Bottom line: The house was a giant mess.</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br />
</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I learned something really quick. Either you learn to ignore it and just accept the fact that you live in a house that would make the writers of "Hoarders" cringe, or you bust your butt trying to maintain it until you work yourself to death. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I chose the first one.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I was tired. I didn't want to spend my evenings cleaning. I wanted to spend them <strike>watching Netflix and blogging</strike> playing with my kids. It was my choice, but it wasn't always easy to live with. I found myself getting more and more irritated with life in general. The kids. My husband. THE MESS. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I just couldn't take it anymore.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And so I admitted defeat. Publicly.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I posted this on Facebook:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WryFS9oARNs/VWm7H6gHRBI/AAAAAAAABkA/qtCLfhCpAJg/s1600/It%2Btakes%2Ba%2Bvillage.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="281" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WryFS9oARNs/VWm7H6gHRBI/AAAAAAAABkA/qtCLfhCpAJg/s640/It%2Btakes%2Ba%2Bvillage.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And my friends responded. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The following week, my two best friends gave up their Friday to come over and help me clean my house. And it was awesome. We accomplished SO much. And it felt so good at the end of the day to look around and feel like I could actually RELAX. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I had forgotten how much I desired a clean house. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8slO0SCnII4/VWnCue2disI/AAAAAAAABkY/buNAkT038a0/s1600/ID-10088899.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8slO0SCnII4/VWnCue2disI/AAAAAAAABkY/buNAkT038a0/s320/ID-10088899.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
And I had forgotten that it sometimes takes a village to raise a family. We can't always accomplish all the things on our own. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And it is okay to admit defeat and ask for help. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
In fact, I totally recommend it. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Getting some help finishing the necessary things gives you more time for the fun things. And life is supposed to be fun.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;">stock photo courtesy of adamr via freedigitalphotos.net</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">HAVE SOME FREE TIME? </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Spend it the way I like to spend mine....watching</span></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.netflix.com/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="106" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9gi8cfYings/VWm9qBCzxQI/AAAAAAAABkI/vFxwJZk9aEw/s400/netflix%2Blogo.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">I receive complimentary service in return for my endorsement, but all opinions are 100% my own.</span></i> </b><br />
<b><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></i></b></div>
Check out their newest original show, Grace and Frankie. It is about two frenemies who are thrust together when their husbands announce that they are gay. Together. They are forced to work out their differences and help each other out along the way. It is well written and it has some pretty big name stars: Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Martin Sheen, and Sam Waterston. I have watched the entire first season already! Here is a little sneak peak...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/CDv6PRi1SgQ/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/CDv6PRi1SgQ?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<br />
<b>Not your cup of tea? Try these instead:</b><br />
<br />
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 5px 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><table align="center" style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 516px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1430774397-a9c64a16279be7559ee04734a786214e-9982c77?pa=30074054855" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="70196156 11379479" class="CToWUd" height="160" src="https://ci3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/XvkpGRH-jZqk0Sumiz-JJAF91QNAeeq-0EVMeoER9cAHhMDlnmQxgqbNSwMNxTSN6oInkRlptGcr-J3Ru3iEt7SFIjIGpyTMnJ6tsI3Xshx_2oquGRlJZHxUwBsoilt5fmLjK61fS9X8-UZT4X-ttuLltFt9Nw=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0918/9489/original/70196156_11379479.jpg?1429043511" style="border-width: 0px;" width="114" /></a></div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1430774397-7108e40c7d2374dbdb48663efcbd8dbb-9982c77?pa=30074054855" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="70281526 9638690" class="CToWUd" height="160" src="https://ci6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/UFQhdonOCbrjpLXkap1f1Mu530sncqUMxy3fn5xoBPm77ixzic5zl4FJyGK36_FEDTwOCdDykfZnX9irCNI_5qXMI_zrWpP4wjS2bDSp0KlFfAuhSccmIwRuRb7MGf7GynNqA8U2Knd9qT7EUjqoZSGUUPBn=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0918/9498/original/70281526_9638690.jpg?1429043565" style="border-width: 0px;" width="114" /></a></div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1430774397-06fe3c7c82d6f8f6c9f8d2e6c690a37e-9982c77?pa=30074054855" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="70155618 11317455" class="CToWUd" height="160" src="https://ci5.googleusercontent.com/proxy/sGGhoa4J3qOVj4RbYBpSwWaPj5ab9DfvUGVKjejZ9WLpv_rpyep7t-O6TV-OSwjZjkgrzSXNC3QZMEhcWYXtyIkSOqbsbgntHA2LuWj-nx2Fk_o4E4Sg0Kgo-uvD3W3C81WK-stHRv1sH0hwe2BFOjUP455hhQ=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0918/9484/original/70155618_11317455.jpg?1429043486" style="border-width: 0px;" width="114" /></a></div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1430774397-e7da1062019e61800b127ec0c7980f6a-9982c77?pa=30074054855" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="70157358 9024711" class="CToWUd" height="160" src="https://ci6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/F5mG7LBonwJ2GQAH0ulbSJ1VQfdQSPnd08LPBihYCU7kO3MI_scwj16wJS6Jop3x-SXS8OSJsQnJjyFZhfpRuvnxbhrBiT6vpbZndNg-XwY_fPJN834G485IKtB9DxRvM-USWx_4UFu929MarypKcIDM3yKe=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0918/9486/original/70157358_9024711.jpg?1429043498" style="border-width: 0px;" width="114" /></a></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; text-align: center; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;" width="530"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<h2 style="color: #221f1f; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 1.2em; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
New on Netflix for Kids and Families</h2>
</div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 5px 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; text-align: center; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><table align="center" style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 516px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1430774397-f9a81b4c68229475f3d703125fb67ae7-9982c77?pa=30074054855" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="80018987 12162740" class="CToWUd" height="160" src="https://ci6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/7s1vdg7VNBimFNknQ7YXhV45T3LEQ1Sq3p87mZuyI-fPEY_bhSZ6rSYTOZTQeHzGgk9IG4wpR-8-zhghTK2Si16Vkidc9KzClZa3O9MuleyCq-4Qdt9WJTZTaIwNgMln4Y3dMdwQvpMhAcJ2fDuUCpBAk4_NMg=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0918/9510/original/80018987_12162740.jpg?1429043657" style="border-width: 0px;" width="114" /></a></div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1430774397-d8801aeb7d9c0b9b045fe8416fde52ba-9982c77?pa=30074054855" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="70271568 9949882" class="CToWUd" height="160" src="https://ci5.googleusercontent.com/proxy/3oAO-5tJKko-6vWDbDU4Cfmpd2Xw30A1KTVWv2C9PLtlW804FTjccNcwU3rZmT5i1SeWtQTL4uB3SxIzk8WTn-QEoGsboU4F0D-im0xwEO2sMK1ip_1T1SetqXjvuCm8bn8_rLmgYT3uEq-iUCIAzPrYiy1m=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0918/9492/original/70271568_9949882.jpg?1429043533" style="border-width: 0px;" width="114" /></a></div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1430774397-706c73f9f0bbee0932eda54a10ee0cea-9982c77?pa=30074054855" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="lalaloopsy festivalofsweets 571x800 2 " class="CToWUd" height="160" src="https://ci6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/7HpqW8WqUF-dVRdtTWoLugkEHXplQibY-faq88M9HksrrGFyGPGGSQXG0t2nnW-rvgpXJRcBha25DL32tmAUiuj1k5w6pQTSBkxwyptmdOkDjxxNjlFLyDwiXbLgFpKHVjVbyIHu1uVppGl9Gf1T-d3FzTEz_OjmGOYtBil85ydZPq5tv1kcJoHPjA=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0919/5410/original/lalaloopsy_festivalofsweets_571x800_2_.jpg?1429110046" style="border-width: 0px;" width="114" /></a></div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1430774397-6fa64318df266b8f7cef9aa84f1194dc-9982c77?pa=30074054855" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="Puss in Boots" class="CToWUd" height="160" src="https://ci6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/K29WqIndFx7qD-K4pG2CcHy_r7SMG0yhwp2N9cG3eKyqoR7zh2R1SvLxDkNTtSNo47sJYG6vJBlsyDzwm0ZXNYhiUnABpYzKTZiM5vH4DlzsDK5aEmfRvOygNfTQ5wEW1URMFud4_Cj9TpXRD2tRDK-K=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0918/9537/original/Puss_in_Boots.jpg?1429043861" style="border-width: 0px;" width="114" /></a></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 5px 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; text-align: center; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><table align="center" style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 382px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1430774397-a6b5cfdf321b776375ce1346dd64d4bf-9982c77?pa=30074054855" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="H2O boxshot USA en" class="CToWUd" height="160" src="https://ci3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/nznw8CAhW45LDFKSLROnet2VJ2UrET6EalOG3i1qv0qbKpsDZRNykNq637VEUkRyiZmzx4TdcPyvJEioGgkl3CnUkQloLiZ5zMizvNGc9SgfU3bWssEk51PvNfIKAHHjIEBWtnJCDqqsOKTixfIZz4TV3HFuMP8=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0925/1696/original/H2O_boxshot_USA_en.jpg?1429741424" style="border-width: 0px;" width="114" /></a></div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1430774397-9712e82d2a093566b9449f4e8f922b28-9982c77?pa=30074054855" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="80020540 12131595" class="CToWUd" height="160" src="https://ci5.googleusercontent.com/proxy/yC4EDoHJHz6r2KwwvAkm4xmbwcIYGI8poyMGsByBU3FRrV3PgAGDIkuHYYn2QXAYSv-VE1KDbxrypdunG4qmrS1O85kIjyNpzEnNKTN9xcntq1RvagYRGtRQPUwr4kFTJzZy5xPx9Y1S8mS-uxwAiK65pNrP9Q=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0918/9512/original/80020540_12131595.jpg?1429043666" style="border-width: 0px;" width="114" /></a></div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1430774397-816484ced4266612d66100aa5e5257f7-9982c77?pa=30074054855" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="Mako Mermaid Season3 boxshot 1 " class="CToWUd" height="160" src="https://ci5.googleusercontent.com/proxy/FEKfj0WCs1HiHgkqh7ljSlWA4tNe_r4QazHtOfbT6IMP0Yzvm4-y2uxYgsUar6TUmmRUsRh30RZjFjqu44GA5vNzd8zFIrU4C8xSPGMaK8AuA6kcX-GlBbOGxY4DUrrulwpJRwGXOKmDyze_VTbAEWPYbzBlRSGjg27IPuQ30zzgW6OPag=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0925/1698/original/Mako_Mermaid_Season3_boxshot__1_.jpg?1429741434" style="border-width: 0px;" width="114" /></a></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Do me a favor, would ya? Click this banner. Every click is a vote which improves my ranking on Top Mommy blogs and brings new visitors to this site daily! You're the best. xoxo</div>
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a><b><br />
</b> <b><br />
</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
Love what you read here? Follow me on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/dramaqueenmomma">Facebook</a> and <a href="http://www.twitter.com/momma_dramas">Twitter</a> too! And be sure to leave a comment, I love reading what you think of this blog! Without you, I would just be talking to myself and that's just weird.</div>
</div>
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-69371074711626117642015-05-23T08:02:00.000-04:002015-05-23T08:02:40.563-04:00The 2015 Best of the Guest Blog Awards and Voter Giveaway Rules and Regulations<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Welcome to DQM's very first </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Best of the Guest Blog Awards!</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This week marks a very special 1-year Blogiversary for A Day in the Life of a Drama Queen's Momma! I would have never gotten this far without ALL of you, my awesome readers and a few really great bloggers who offered to write guest posts for me when I was too busy to keep you all entertained. SO A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As a reward for lending me their awesome writing skills (and keeping you guys laughing), I am announcing the very 1st <b><i>Best of the Guest Blog Awards</i></b> where my amazing guest bloggers have a chance to win a cool prize based on YOUR votes!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's how it works: Read these amazing posts (links below). Comment on them. Share them. Vote on your favorite using the Raffle below (and get yourself entered in the contest to win an awesome prize package at the same time!) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The categories up for grabs this year are:</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Pimped Out</span></b>- <span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The winner of this category is the blogger whose piece is passed around the most.. So if you have a favorite piece...Share, share, share it via Facebook, Twitter, and/or Pinterest. (Each social media share counts as one vote and will be counted using my "Share This" tools at the end of each blog post.)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>Comment Queen</b></span><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- The winner of this category is the blogger that can keep the conversation flowing. Be sure to leave comments on the pieces that you enjoy the most to give the blogger a chance at this award. All comments count <i>as long as</i> they are valid conversation (not just a word or nonsense). Response comments from the blogger count as one vote per conversation.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>Little Miss Popular</b></span><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- The winner of this category has a post with a far reach. This award will be given out based on overall page views taken from Google Analytics stats. Sharing will help a blogger achieve more views.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">**These first 3 awards will be tallied from the date the post was PUBLISHED until now. Even though some posts have been around longer, the page views are pretty equal starting out. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;">(Bloggers: If you desire to know your rank to begin with, please message me.)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></span> <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;">**The winner of these 3 awards will receive an exclusive (and awesome because I made it) button for their blog sidebar and bragging rights</span>.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And the most coveted award (<i>or at least it should be</i>) is the</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>Guest Post of the Year</b></span><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- This is a people's choice award, based on votes. Votes are achieved through the Rafflecopter giveaway below. Clicks on entries for the blog Facebook page DO NOT count as votes (but they DO enter you in the giveaway!) Only clicks on the actual VOTE button for the blogger/piece will be counted towards this award. You are welcome to vote on as many pieces as you wish. Votes count once per day and earn you more chances to win the awesome giveaway prize!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">**The winner of Guest Post of the Year will also receive an exclusive side-bar button AND a $10 Starbucks gift card.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The voters (that's YOU!) will have the chance to win this incredible prize pack, including:</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
* A copy of <b>the book "<a href="https://www.facebook.com/IJustWantToPeeAlone">I Still Just Want To Pee Alone</a>"</b> signed by multiple authors, including the amazing editor, Jenn Mann of <a href="http://www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com/">People I Want to Punch in the Throat</a> and filled with awesome bookmarks and trinkets from the authors.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
* <b>Brennan's favorite candy</b> (gummy bears) sent all the way from Canada via the amazing Brooke from <a href="http://missteenussr.com/">missteenussr.com</a></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
*A set of <b>Brennan Quotes note cards w/ envelopes</b> handmade by yours truly and personally signed by Brennan.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
*Funny <b>button pins</b>, including one with Brennan's new favorite saying "Bows before Bros"</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
*<b>Unicorn stickers</b></div>
<b><br />
</b> <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-38OVMMPZCoo/VVqQoYUyZUI/AAAAAAAABiU/IoFBHoGzclQ/s1600/Best%2Bof%2Bthe%2BGuest%2B2015%2BPrize%2BPackage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="281" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-38OVMMPZCoo/VVqQoYUyZUI/AAAAAAAABiU/IoFBHoGzclQ/s400/Best%2Bof%2Bthe%2BGuest%2B2015%2BPrize%2BPackage.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Earn entries by visiting (and liking) the social media accounts of these awesome Blogger Nominees, and by <span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/p/2015-best-of-guest-blog-awards.html">voting on the pieces you love the most here</a></span>. You can vote once per day, so keep coming back for more chances to win. And don't forget to help your favorites win by sharing and commenting on the posts! Good luck!</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br />
</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Here are the nominees:</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/p/2015-best-of-guest-blog-awards.html">CLICK HERE</a></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #999999; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">**These awards are just for fun. The author of the winning post (Guest Post of the Year) will receive a $10 Starbucks gift card. The winner of the raffle giveaway will win the prize package stated in the raffle. This contest is limited to the continental US only, due to shipping costs. Blogger Nominees are not eligible for the raffle giveaway prize, but may vote on their own piece daily, as per voting rules. The prize winner will be announced on this blog post and my Facebook page (<a href="http://www.facebook.com/dramaqueenmomma">A Day in the Life of a Drama Queen's Momma</a>) on Tuesday, June 2. The winner will have 24 hours to respond and message me their address before a new winner will be chosen. The prize package will be mailed out within a week of receiving the address of the winner. DQM is not responsible for prize packages that are lost in the mail or returned for incorrect address information. DQM is not responsible for "winners" who fail to respond within the 24 hour window and lose their prize. Please come back to this post and check the Facebook page on the day the contest ends to see if you won.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>And don't forget...if you love this blog, please give this banner a click and earn me a higher ranking over on Top Mommy Blogs, a directory that brings new people to DQM daily!</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a></div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-9517037794465527242015-05-08T12:47:00.000-04:002015-05-18T21:55:55.446-04:00It's the Little ThingsA mother has a big job. From wiping snotty noses, to never-ending laundry piles, to feeding bottomless pit stomachs, to pulling all-nighters with a sick child, some days seriously <i>do</i> feel like they will never end.<br />
<div>
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
<div>
But as I look at my son who is now sixteen, I realize that they will end, and sooner rather than later. I mean, I will <i>always</i> be a mother, but the days of them needing me are slipping away like the sands in an hour glass.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And when they do, and my kids are all grown, what legacy will I leave in my wake?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
This is a question I ask myself often. With the rush of the world around us, and the demands of work and home always yanking at my pant leg, I often find myself irritated and short-tempered. It is so easy to bask in my tiredness and use it as an excuse to not be the kind of mother that mine was to me. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
What kind was that, you ask? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
A hands-on one. One who despite being exhausted, never let on to that fact. One who always put us first. One who went out of her way to let us know daily how special we were. One who baked cookies and played games and read us stories every night at bedtime way past when we were old enough to do it ourselves. One who never tired of our continuous questions and constant running in and out. One who didn't snap at us when we ruined our new shoes or put a hole in the knees of our brand new pants. One who was quick with a hug and a band-aid when we had a tiny boo-boo on our finger. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><i>One who realized that it was the little things that left the mark.</i> </b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6_XbSeLUYgs/VUznmafw7YI/AAAAAAAABhM/sifLLUyzBOk/s1600/ID-100231759.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6_XbSeLUYgs/VUznmafw7YI/AAAAAAAABhM/sifLLUyzBOk/s320/ID-100231759.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
It wasn't the expensive things. It wasn't the gifts, at least not the kind that came wrapped in a pretty box with a bow. It was the time she spent loving on us. A kind word. A smile. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It was the way she made us feel, like we could do no wrong. Like we were special. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Because we were.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And do you know how she accomplished those things? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
By being there. Even when we didn't want her to be. Even when she was tired and worn down. By putting our needs above her own. By holding on to our hands a little too tightly and a little too long, but also giving us wings to fly.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Because <i>that</i> is what being a mother is all about.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I hope that someday my kids can look back and have even <i>half</i> of those same feelings about me as a mother. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Then I will know I have succeeded.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;">stock photo courtesy of arztsamui via freedigitalphotos.net</span><br />
<div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="line-height: 27.08px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<b><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></b>
<b>Do you enjoy reading my blog? Please click this banner and give me a higher ranking over at Top Mommy Blogs! Each click helps me climb my way up the list and increases my likelihood to be found by new fans just like you! Thanks so much for your help! <3 I couldn't do this without you!</b></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin: 0px; text-align: start;">
<div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>Please take a minute and rate my blog while you are there.</b></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>You can find me in the humor section.</b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b><br /></b></i></span>
<br />
<div>
<div style="line-height: normal; text-align: start;">
<b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Following my blog makes you cool. Trust me.</span></b></div>
<div id="mc_embed_signup" style="line-height: normal; text-align: start;">
<form action="https://blogspot.us10.list-manage.com/subscribe/post?u=e4ec1b5020bb7d2ed6e2c6350&id=87bc99358c" class="validate" id="mc-embedded-subscribe-form" method="post" name="mc-embedded-subscribe-form" novalidate="" target="_blank">
<div id="mc_embed_signup_scroll">
<label for="mce-EMAIL"><b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Sign up here to have posts delivered to your inbox:</span></b></label><br />
<input class="email" id="mce-EMAIL" name="EMAIL" placeholder="email address" required="" type="email" value="" /><br />
<br />
<div style="left: -5000px; position: absolute;">
<input name="b_e4ec1b5020bb7d2ed6e2c6350_87bc99358c" tabindex="-1" type="text" value="" /></div>
<div class="clear">
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<input class="button" id="mc-embedded-subscribe" name="subscribe" type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</form>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-69464315467637665842015-04-21T09:11:00.000-04:002015-05-18T21:56:19.486-04:00Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire: Outrageous lies told by kids<img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EyTN8LGnGNM/VTWuYFaLfTI/AAAAAAAABZY/twwGlKIy2IA/s1600/liar%2Bliar%2Bpants%2Bon%2Bfire.jpg" style="display: none;" /><br />
If you have a child, chances are you have been lied to on one occasion or another. And if you are super lucky, you will have a grand embellisher like we do. Our middle daughter knows how to spin a tale, let me tell ya.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /><br />
We have heard it ALL.<br />
<br />
A new movie coming out this weekend? You can bet she has already seen it with her friend last week.<br />
<br />
Did something get broken when she was the only one in the room? It <i>certainly</i> wasn't her. It was probably the ghost that has moved into our non-existent attic.<br />
<br />
But the story that beats them all, is the story of Rico, the frog.<br />
<br />
You see, my little girl just loves frogs. And it is just her luck that her Nana and Boppa live out in the country and have a pond that is just teeming with frogs, of all kinds, every single summer. And she never fails to catch a hundred of them poor, innocent creatures and love them to death.<br />
<br />
Literally.<br />
<br />
This particular story took place on a nice sunshine-y summer day. And like all beautiful, summer days, the grown-ups sent the kids outside to play while they sat around on the porch chatting.<br />
<br />
This particular day the frogs had ventured close enough to the house to be captured by her eager little hands. And catch one she did. He was a big ole frog, with a big giant mouth, and she was so enamored with him that she carried him all over the place to enjoy adventure after adventure with her. She lovingly named him Rico the frog, and she was most certain that he would be venturing home with us at the end of the long summer day.<br />
<br />
This particular lie, was birthed from her innocent little lips because of these pipe dreams of keeping Rico forever, despite the fact that we lived in an apartment in the city. You see, my little girl had a mortal enemy. A bigger, and seemingly smarter older sister, in her own mind at least, who knew that there was no way that poor frog was going to survive the day, let alone come home with us. And her bigger, smarter, older sister took it upon herself (as older sisters tend to do) to relieve my poor sweet girl of her precious pet.<br />
<br />
But she didn't take into consideration the amount of love a little girl's heart could be capable of when her beloved frog was on the verge of freedom. And that big sister didn't even see that giant kick a-comin', but a come it did. Right on her shin. And it sent her leaping and howling up to the porch to gather comfort and justice in the arms of her mother.<br />
<br />
Now, being a just mother, I felt I needed to hear both sides of the tale. Sisters do tend to exaggerate, you know. So I called my sweet little girl inside to hear her version of events.<br />
<br />
"Did you kick your sister," I asked her sternly.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EyTN8LGnGNM/VTWuYFaLfTI/AAAAAAAABZY/twwGlKIy2IA/s1600/liar%2Bliar%2Bpants%2Bon%2Bfire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="317" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EyTN8LGnGNM/VTWuYFaLfTI/AAAAAAAABZY/twwGlKIy2IA/s1600/liar%2Bliar%2Bpants%2Bon%2Bfire.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
"Well, yes. But Rico <i>made</i> me do it," she blurted out quickly in her own defense.<br />
<br />
"Rico, you say? Rico, the FROG? How on Earth could a frog MAKE you do anything?" I asked in exasperation.<br />
<br />
"He said 'ribbit' and so I did it." She answered matter-of-factly.<br />
<br />
Needless to say, Rico was released from her prison-like grip and let back into the wild to live out his days croaking his version of the tale to all of his children, and we still laugh about it to this day.<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #999999;">Stock photo courtesy of Mapichai via freedigitalphotos.net</span></div>
<b><br />
</b> <b>Here are a few other hilarious tales told by kids and powered by my awesome <a href="http://www.facebook.com/dramaqueenmomma">Facebook</a> friends:</b><br />
<br />
<span data-reactid=".fx.1:3:1:$comment647505465392937_647952165348267:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0" style="color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">"Julia! How did your face get so dirty?"-Daddy</span><br />
<span data-reactid=".fx.1:3:1:$comment647505465392937_647952165348267:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.$end:0:$2:0" style="color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">"Momma tooked me to da zoo an a monkey frowed poop on me face!"</span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">- Julia, age 5. Story provided by mom, Emily.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
"Did you poop in your pull-up?"<br />
"No. My brother did it. He pulled it off, pooped in it, then put it back on me" -Isabella, age 4 speaking about her 2 year old brother. Story provided by mom, Chastity.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span data-reactid=".fx.1:3:1:$comment647505465392937_648084228668394:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.0" style="font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16.0799999237061px; olor: #141823;"><span data-reactid=".fx.1:3:1:$comment647505465392937_648084228668394:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$0:0">"My middle son and his older brother went on a 'ride around the block' in our small town in the mid seventies. Strangely, they came home with a ton if brand new bicycle accessories. Knowing that something wasn't right, I quizzed & drilled them repeated</span></span><span data-reactid=".fx.1:3:1:$comment647505465392937_648084228668394:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".fx.1:3:1:$comment647505465392937_648084228668394:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".fx.1:3:1:$comment647505465392937_648084228668394:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0">ly until the 5 year old middle son finally cracked when I asked him 'How did you carry all this stuff out of the store?' His innocent little answer--'In our socks!' Busted!" -Ann B.</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span data-reactid=".fx.1:3:1:$comment647505465392937_648084228668394:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".fx.1:3:1:$comment647505465392937_648084228668394:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".fx.1:3:1:$comment647505465392937_648084228668394:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><br />
</span></span></span></span> <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span data-reactid=".fx.1:3:1:$comment647505465392937_648084228668394:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".fx.1:3:1:$comment647505465392937_648084228668394:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".fx.1:3:1:$comment647505465392937_648084228668394:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><br />
</span></span></span></span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">"My son forged my signature (terribly) on a bad grade report and when I asked him why he did it, he told me he didn't, that I signed it in my sleep which was why it was so terribly done." -Jennifer</span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span data-reactid=".wy.1:3:1:$comment431866680323089_432278440281913:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.0" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".wy.1:3:1:$comment431866680323089_432278440281913:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$0:0">"My darling toddlers, Sandi and Linda, were visiting their grandma (my mom). Grandma had this circle garden in the front of her home that was loaded with blooming tulips. We went outside and he</span></span><span data-reactid=".wy.1:3:1:$comment431866680323089_432278440281913:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".wy.1:3:1:$comment431866680323089_432278440281913:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".wy.1:3:1:$comment431866680323089_432278440281913:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0">ard my mom saying in a sickened voice, 'My tulips!' Yep, they were all picked! Linda says, 'Benson (the neighbor) did it!' A little while later Sandi and Linda presented their grandma with the most beautiful bouquet of tulips." -Patti</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span data-reactid=".wy.1:3:1:$comment431866680323089_432278440281913:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".wy.1:3:1:$comment431866680323089_432278440281913:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".wy.1:3:1:$comment431866680323089_432278440281913:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><br />
</span></span></span></span> <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span data-reactid=".wy.1:3:1:$comment431866680323089_432278440281913:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".wy.1:3:1:$comment431866680323089_432278440281913:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".wy.1:3:1:$comment431866680323089_432278440281913:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><br />
</span></span></span></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span data-reactid=".wy.1:3:1:$comment431866680323089_432278440281913:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".wy.1:3:1:$comment431866680323089_432278440281913:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".wy.1:3:1:$comment431866680323089_432278440281913:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0" style="font-size: large;"><b>Have YOUR kids ever told a whopper? Share it with me!</b></span></span></span></span><br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">Then check out these great Netflix shows for your own little liar, liar pants on fire:</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span></span></div>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 5px 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; text-align: center; width: 524px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-9819d7e16f1fe76b92379da6c6c19d5d-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="70197201 11749233" class="CToWUd" height="164" src="https://ci3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/neTFrDa8ibQ_djnbnPDcomHabJgQEkTjxDhygEYpBoT8uj4vzqfb9aIkq8JMuzVHbeGTb3gfN2_dUiZBvveuU6xDNEG_0k0q6V3dlNxJsttoHL0K_gWq5_KDPYynsseEPLrz4a16dv8hfkQgzV_xJHO-ejWyLw=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0910/3916/original/70197201_11749233.jpg?1427922611" style="border-width: 0px;" width="117" /></a></div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-29a47db576e44f35813e06870b80992a-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="70287604 4167324" class="CToWUd" height="164" src="https://ci4.googleusercontent.com/proxy/dkRxb-uG_aO3pS-rS5R0YYL3aB7pWCsfF6QJh9cHPlzXXGPYSMv5KXJZ_86fKtRMZeJVhTrRpzkYoM0ecaO5leLzyAtYSjaRntfTuXk4NYHTX_8Aqn8vQs7GDWbLPOaQU24nW-fPtraZTT1QjNA-ea3k_2UN=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0910/3922/original/70287604_4167324.jpg?1427922646" style="border-width: 0px;" width="115" /></a></div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-c41551db3e0fab3ecce579e23bf09793-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="80011539 12868113" class="CToWUd" height="164" src="https://ci6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/kEvhErQg68rcIQGdYcBdt7BI6kiE9F1LU8ZEnYngEEbUUQadkZtE88ELMUqpyiNgQoX_suqxpI-9wtZdv5NCviPb2Uxj3QkIrHnOedbYQ1VHfJw0wF-13fyxPwM-8st_2dyBqJCey4jvtNEFE6MHoSuonjfHgw=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0910/3930/original/80011539_12868113.jpg?1427922687" style="border-width: 0px;" width="117" /></a></div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-9ba73ac166b011ffd9a327b803dc5581-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="70254353 4103108" class="CToWUd" height="164" src="https://ci5.googleusercontent.com/proxy/t3Xm1fjuFwG-6shUvsR_XYpYdULTLdK0pfNFO58XcAoKkZoD5EJv0GZf2-JnPkRYXlL61GO12s-dkxQeNFbLmfpiE_uIvUny_t1fp5KxlHGSiA1A8LEg2gwB8rsayWQoAN2s0pRmCRI9to_Ykd1LzGY1qRdj=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0910/3919/original/70254353_4103108.jpg?1427922626" style="border-width: 0px;" width="115" /></a></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: #221f1f; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em;">1. <a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-fadab5271167129e3f2653e8965f2bda-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914; text-decoration: none; word-break: break-word;" target="_blank">The Gruffalo</a><br />
2. <a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-f4b89b06620539ec7ec2da697596b598-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914; text-decoration: none; word-break: break-word;" target="_blank">Care Bears: S1E8, Untruths and Consequences</a><br />
3. <a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-ba94526014a2d7259f39da8c62fa39bc-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914; text-decoration: none; word-break: break-word;" target="_blank">Veggie Tales in the House: S1E9, Lie-monade</a><br />
4. <a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-5ea4b13299a0367d6f77ed3fd7ff5636-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914; text-decoration: none; word-break: break-word;" target="_blank">Little Princess: S1E9, I Didn't Do It</a></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<br /></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 5px 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><table align="center" style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 530px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-a5676ddfc25fb972c9a4b42b57ab4173-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="80026692 11880484" class="CToWUd" height="165" src="https://ci4.googleusercontent.com/proxy/NGGx8KhnRVgo4QPzmJFgGzdMcG-F3DiI2pZRh7elXov9koYZybROC1p3tTOUmFFMISnFvBrMoo9nGY-mg8Nu5E_WYndmwt-NC4wUNSlxy7cWscW1tNxi64Z0Tik4PzkK0ih92u7n8Z-3p7Pc1GG6GVyfA9_EuQ=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0910/3937/original/80026692_11880484.jpg?1427922726" style="border-width: 0px;" width="118" /></a></div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-c4d6fd72eab60752df695f3f5b9bd646-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="ANT Farm" class="CToWUd" height="165" src="https://ci6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/Y7Vh-qtBhJ0cWGMueqJVvZK5hnwRFMbE62u-70jO9RwJUwL9AlUMHV80hV7ikZKhr7TLvLZSn22ZniXuKb8NBrVJ1mCt3sHWQOQTn8IKvFWRaeBxTRlc01VEbXR-yfJc18SuY7eZwRAHEmoORw=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0911/8562/original/ANT_Farm.jpg?1428089127" style="border-width: 0px;" width="118" /></a></div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-90e8a841b6e9dbfeece1e98cfbb0995b-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="70106286 2181907" class="CToWUd" height="165" src="https://ci4.googleusercontent.com/proxy/2hjx_YWL-W_8Nv8zg3uvY-a20beOVV5IYLzSflZWtHRbiP1V2SP4rwxJw79V6CEP5zfT43bhpZwhSmzzqXcrH-3CufYO2ARmOzbdJpapBr2_Nwu6-etfZAxtSV49K2T2f4qafwLWlO0cKKgayG61pWpw5mLm=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0910/3914/original/70106286_2181907.jpg?1427922600" style="border-width: 0px;" width="116" /></a></div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-714084dd5b5c6e281cce6cd4576e63bf-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="70258405 13018238" class="CToWUd" height="165" src="https://ci6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/oHBWPwuC_HdGb_bEYQ2GF7z2f60-jxsmo5Bk0YN9HPRaIzdb0jO20kmEO5N0w9_YcfpLXwkG2Cg9vh2RDFOEmB1h6LDNn3Rna3o-yp2GmSUuNNX6SShUe2vE74YnIqFIhjWqFMr4SO7ojvBTYm7Qo57MrqdNoQ=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0910/3921/original/70258405_13018238.jpg?1427922637" style="border-width: 0px;" width="118" /></a></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: #221f1f; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em;">1. <a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-f78444a14775b45d2e7c2dcfa545fac6-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914; text-decoration: none; word-break: break-word;" target="_blank">Totally Spies!</a><br />
2. <a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-9cc527bf8519bd2cebe4056f9fe991cd-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914; text-decoration: none; word-break: break-word;" target="_blank">A.N.T. Farm: S3E9, Pants on Fire</a><br />
3. <a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-702e4535be349891e9f584d2bffa5d8a-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914; text-decoration: none; word-break: break-word;" target="_blank">Spy School</a><br />
4. <a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-e325e237557dfeecc0bf9a45627f7c84-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914; text-decoration: none; word-break: break-word;" target="_blank">Jessie: S1E14, World Wide Web of Lies</a></span><br />
<br /></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And for the grown-ups, check out these great shows on Netflix with a lie or two in the story-line:</span></div>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 5px 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><table align="center" style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 530px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-d9a053ba85401b65c2ce94ee5dc2167f-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="80010655 13044733" class="CToWUd" height="164" src="https://ci3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/IZwntn1HIBwuTaGsjPNjEjx9ogCT707dCYLRvyFgDW-Mi89uy8JCqwrtlrhZPA5VmRTdl84TNqBGSuPPjjuvoav6QgNwvd0DH7bNpt81uSkbR5YDPHe0DG3kD1y1bYqbQsC2s3_wx46-JtD2YbzsCXKaNpPMAw=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0910/3926/original/80010655_13044733.jpg?1427922672" style="border-width: 0px;" width="118" /></a></div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-9cc12996ef1485667caf8faf7443e8b6-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="70197037 11165109" class="CToWUd" height="164" src="https://ci3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/kuLXhrIDbxrpC6O7iI8sRoNTNV9dZQid35zBleL-r_NMP0Fm8wu5UegmPE7vwDYt0ZgL_KM1dQ1_s3b6m2mXPOoBYLzkDiwHPoIHZx9tPQSZiYOZ8obt_P5DPoUd2HAa5I2pfDXUM6-W4mjhrXlcpI9Ei-6CrQ=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0910/3915/original/70197037_11165109.jpg?1427922607" style="border-width: 0px;" width="118" /></a></div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-81ad9f8da848020dd6b4d1ba9aea36ca-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="70235174 11899351" class="CToWUd" height="164" src="https://ci6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/93-KOfxgAigS3hwEpZl7B674UpjwTXZX1Iei2K1D1BarCYX7NqU9melrP5EGkTPgDQhRfW_h2cN_cD3uSG63sPy5vij-t1Ut6IcOmum7Q6WZglQymfy7YVNFCD0PvFtkWNwkm-kQiXuhcQg5k1bgMGSM288ing=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0910/3918/original/70235174_11899351.jpg?1427922618" style="border-width: 0px;" width="117" /></a></div>
</td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="20"></td><td style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" valign="top"><div align="center" style="margin: 0px auto 1.1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-b562c9302de0198df8ef1265a000ea9e-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914;" target="_blank"><img alt="70180057 9727888" class="CToWUd" height="164" src="https://ci5.googleusercontent.com/proxy/qqrEeBwdiCuPvo-nip24Rq9jaUFTRkbct60QxbBdTnkPjPfQl_Ox4L_YHc5HWE4xcR_x4xA5wwbXZOU4JRrvAXUrnvH_gbZktadtu050Susg38R3knwHLMtkYGXwRClYiOlACHhL-OZA0RjeUrOUuQi5Q9ch=s0-d-e1-ft#https://cascade.madmimi.com/promotion_images/0911/8565/original/70180057_9727888.jpg?1428089142" style="border-width: 0px;" width="117" /></a></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; margin: auto; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
<tr><td align="left" style="clear: both; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" width="530"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: #221f1f; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em;">1. <a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-38994ddb1f42c3b0d1c0253b7758dac6-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914; text-decoration: none; word-break: break-word;" target="_blank">Bloodline</a><br />
2. <a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-5fa903c3c59a3fc36a49b941116d2dea-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914; text-decoration: none; word-break: break-word;" target="_blank">Revenge</a><br />
3. <a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-6ba2a374c9d9c8321fb794cc599ee7f8-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914; text-decoration: none; word-break: break-word;" target="_blank">The Bling Ring</a><br />
4. <a href="https://go.madmimi.com/redirects/1428091926-f8c53235c75f60145c8ccbb34d7fac7d-b649077?pa=29392628216" style="color: #e50914; text-decoration: none; word-break: break-word;" target="_blank">Pretty Little Liars</a></span><br />
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.netflix.com/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="107" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q0mZkMbvxmg/VG9687EwvUI/AAAAAAAAA-E/fMoc9JlkaUk/s1600/Netflix_Logo_Print_FourColorCMYK.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="line-height: 27.08px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I receive complimentary Netflix service in return for my endorsement, but all opinions and referrals are 100% my own opinion.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<b><span style="color: red;">HELP ME BECOME THE BEST BLOGGER IN THE WHOLE WORLD!</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay, that was a tad bit exaggerated. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But clicking the banner below DOES give me a vote. And votes make me happy.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So help a sistah out, would ya?</span></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin: 0px; text-align: start;">
<div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>Please take a minute and rate my blog while you are there.</b></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>You can find me in the humor section.</b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b><br />
</b></i></span> <br />
<div>
<div style="line-height: normal; text-align: start;">
<b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Following my blog makes you cool. Trust me.</span></b></div>
<div id="mc_embed_signup" style="line-height: normal; text-align: start;">
<form action="https://blogspot.us10.list-manage.com/subscribe/post?u=e4ec1b5020bb7d2ed6e2c6350&id=87bc99358c" class="validate" id="mc-embedded-subscribe-form" method="post" name="mc-embedded-subscribe-form" novalidate="" target="_blank">
<div id="mc_embed_signup_scroll">
<label for="mce-EMAIL"><b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Sign up here to have posts delivered to your inbox:</span></b></label><br />
<input class="email" id="mce-EMAIL" name="EMAIL" placeholder="email address" required="" type="email" value="" /><br />
<br />
<div style="left: -5000px; position: absolute;">
<input name="b_e4ec1b5020bb7d2ed6e2c6350_87bc99358c" tabindex="-1" type="text" value="" /></div>
<div class="clear">
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<input class="button" id="mc-embedded-subscribe" name="subscribe" type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br /></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</form>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-38837749328478186462015-04-03T09:45:00.000-04:002015-05-08T21:50:15.516-04:00Kids Say The Darndest Things 2<img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NXkrbtWzO7s/VSsg2R4pA2I/AAAAAAAABY0/dVnDoeYN0y0/s1600/parenting-law-when-kids-blurt-out-something-embarrassing-it-will-always-be-in-the-most-public-place-at-the-most-inopportune-time-4bfb8.png" style="display: none;" /><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had so much fun with my original "<a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/2015/03/kids-say-darndest-things.html">Kids say the darndest things</a>" post that I couldn't even help but to put together another addition! This time around, my delightful <a href="http://www.facebook.com/dramaqueenmomma">Facebook</a> fans provided the fodder for this laugh-filled post on the hilariously inappropriate things that kids say.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NXkrbtWzO7s/VSsg2R4pA2I/AAAAAAAABY0/dVnDoeYN0y0/s1600/parenting-law-when-kids-blurt-out-something-embarrassing-it-will-always-be-in-the-most-public-place-at-the-most-inopportune-time-4bfb8.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><br />
</a> <span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">WARNING: Use the bathroom before reading this post</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NXkrbtWzO7s/VSsg2R4pA2I/AAAAAAAABY0/dVnDoeYN0y0/s1600/parenting-law-when-kids-blurt-out-something-embarrassing-it-will-always-be-in-the-most-public-place-at-the-most-inopportune-time-4bfb8.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="224" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NXkrbtWzO7s/VSsg2R4pA2I/AAAAAAAABY0/dVnDoeYN0y0/s1600/parenting-law-when-kids-blurt-out-something-embarrassing-it-will-always-be-in-the-most-public-place-at-the-most-inopportune-time-4bfb8.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Milkin' momma</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"<span style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">When I was pregnant with my first, we were in the store looking at breast pumps when my step son said (not so quietly) 'We better start milking Sacha before the baby comes so he has something to drink!'" -Sacha B</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span></span> <span style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Duh-duh-duh-dummy</span><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">"</span><span style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">Out for breakfast one morning and the youngest asked for hot chocolate. The waitress explained that they only had chocolate milk. He politely asks her if they have a microwave. She replied yes and he said, 'Well heat it up, dummy!'". -Lisa K</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span></span> <span style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The Ball Lady</span><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">"</span><span style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">My son in Walmart, at 4 years old, 'Momma, why is that wady over dar wound wike a big baww?' We were right behind her!" -Christina RJ</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span></span> <span style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My cat's a bastard</span><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639612076182276:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.0" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639612076182276:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$0:0">"At my daughter's 5 year old well-child visit, the doctor noticed she had some scratches on her legs. We had a very playful 6 month old kitten at home who loved to attack legs under blankets at night. The doctor asked her what had happened. She sat up a</span></span><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639612076182276:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639612076182276:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639612076182276:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0">nd said' 'My cat did it. His name is Tanis and he is a bastard.' I was in such a state of shock that my mouth just fell open. I have never heard a doctor laugh so hard in my laugh." -Kristi P</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639612076182276:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639612076182276:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639612076182276:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><br />
</span></span></span></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639612076182276:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639612076182276:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639612076182276:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><br />
</span></span></span></span> <span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639612076182276:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639612076182276:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639612076182276:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Big-Booty'd Momma</span><br />
</span></span></span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">"Im curvy and have always had a pretty voluptuous butt. My child, at the grocery store, yelled 'Hey mom, look! She has a big booty like you!' The woman was less than amused. And I wanted to die." -Erin R</span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span> <span style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Cock Rider</span><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639678979508919:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.0" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639678979508919:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$0:0">"When my daughter (Boo) was 3, the hubby and I (her step-dad, btw) took her to Red Robin (a burger joint). We were waiting for our table in the hostess area and Boo noticed a beautiful carousel horse the restaurant had used as decoration. Out of nowhere</span></span><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639678979508919:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639678979508919:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639678979508919:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0">, this sweet little 3 year old voice says (really excitedly=LOUDLY), 'I ride cock!' The hostesses mouths were hanging open, along with the hubby's and mine. I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole. And it was worse for the hubby as these hostesses were staring at him like he's a child molester! I couldn't spit out fast enough that 'her nana has a horse named DOCK and she can't say her D's yet.'" -<a href="https://www.facebook.com/GigglesSnortsandBellyLaughs">Giggles, Snorts, and Belly Laughs</a></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639678979508919:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639678979508919:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639678979508919:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><br />
</span></span></span></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639678979508919:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639678979508919:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639678979508919:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><br />
</span></span></span></span> <span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639678979508919:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639678979508919:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639678979508919:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Smelly</span><br />
</span></span></span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">"Shopping with the grand kids, the middle grand child has a sensitive sense of smell, add to that a lady reeking of perfume: 'Meme, that lady smells,' she said as loud as she could. I tried to shush her, but the child said louder, 'But she smells really bad and its hurting my nose!'" -Mary T</span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span> <span style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Hey! Check out the fat lady at pump #9!</span><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639614689515348:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.0" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639614689515348:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$0:0">"At the gas station, my then 5 yr old boy. Jacob, started beating on the window to get my attention while I was pumping gas, and yells out 'Hey, why is that person so fat? LOOK LOOK over there, why's she big like that?' I tried to hurry pumping the gas and get </span></span><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639614689515348:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639614689515348:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639614689515348:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0">in, but he just got louder, repeating himself, and half the parking lot (including the woman) was looking by the time I was done getting gas. That's how loud he was; I was mortified and felt so bad for the overweight woman he kept pointing at!" </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639614689515348:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639614689515348:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639614689515348:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0">-Elizabeth B</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639614689515348:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639614689515348:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639614689515348:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><br />
</span></span></span></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639614689515348:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="color: #141823; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639614689515348:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639614689515348:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><br />
</span></span></span></span> <span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639614689515348:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3" style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639614689515348:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".vb.1:3:1:$comment639107792899371_639614689515348:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1.$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My kid's a Commi</span><br />
</span></span></span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">"Little man anounced that he wanted to be a major 'communist' in the middle of the pizza place, and I asked him what do they do, and he said, 'MOM the go on stage and tell jokes.' Each day I think he is just trying to see how bad he can shock me." -Fox Socks</span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span> <span style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></span> <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-z8350NTXUTY/VU1kyZ5eCrI/AAAAAAAABhc/JxtezXHA0LU/s1600/ID-100216802.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-z8350NTXUTY/VU1kyZ5eCrI/AAAAAAAABhc/JxtezXHA0LU/s200/ID-100216802.jpg" width="122" /></a></div>
<span style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">Jack-Ass</span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">My oldest son was sitting with his grandpa on the couch when he told him, 'You be a donkey grandpa and I'll kick your Jack Ass.'" -Penny T</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></span> <span style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></span> <span style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Look at his butt, Mom, it is SO big</span><br />
</span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">"We were at Meijer and the guy in front of us was rather large. My son yelled, 'Mom! Why is that guys butt so big?' I'm all red face and embarrassed, telling him (in his ear) that he's being rude and he shouldn't say things like that. He looks at me like I'm crazy, turns back to the man, points and says, 'OK, but look at it mom!'" -Rachel FW</span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span> <span style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You're not a mom until your kid wants to kill you...</span><br />
</span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">"At Wal-mart yesterday, my 13 year old was pissed at me because I told her she didn't need a candy bar and I refused to buy it for her. She blurted out loud enough for at least 4 checkouts to hear, 'I wish I could kill you'....I said, 'Oh knock it off' and tried to act nonchalant about it, but the cashier looked at me with a sympathy look. I just wanted to pay for my stuff and get out of there!" -Cheryl E</span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">SOMEBODY GET THIS KID SOME VAGISIL....STAT!</span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">"My daughter said, 'My vagina itches mommy!' while we were inside Wal-Mart. Loudly. I was so red." -Kristina C</span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span> <span style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Poop Patrol</span><br />
</span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">"My daughter and I were in a public bathroom stall and a lady came in and went in the other stall and then she farted as loud as can be and my daughter says, 'Mommy I think that lady is pooping!!' and then giggled her butt off!" -Brandi V</span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span> <span style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Toothless Wonder</span><br />
</span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">"We were at the local home improvement store when a very nice elderly man said 'hello' to my then 5 yr old son, without skipping a beat he responded with 'Sir, why don't you have any teeth?' I mean I guess at least he was polite when asking... but I still wanted to die!" -Cristina R</span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span> <span style="line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The Wish Master</span><br />
</span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;">"My son at the grocery store: I was putting him in the car when he spots a taxi driver wearing a turban and yells out, 'Look mom! A Genie! I want my wish!' I was utterly mortified and he would not let up." -Joy FM</span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16.0799999237061px;"><br />
</span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
____________________________________________</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">See! You are not alone! ALL kids are embarrassing! I think it is instinctive in children to voice their opinions at the most inopportune times. I mean, why on Earth would they tell you what they are thinking in a whisper voice when you are alone in your car or home? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What kind of sense does THAT make?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Thanks to everyone who shared their embarrassing mishaps with me! There were soooo many submissions that I couldn't include them all, but you can find (and add to) the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/dramaqueenmomma/posts/639107792899371">inspiring Facebook post here</a>.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br />
</i></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;">Donkey photo courtesy of vectorolie via freedigitalphotos.net</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<b>HELP ME BECOME THE BEST BLOGGER IN THE WHOLE WORLD!</b></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Okay, that was a tad bit exaggerated. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>But clicking the banner below DOES give me a vote. And votes make me happy.</i></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>So help a sistah out, would ya?</i></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Please take a minute and rate my blog while you are there.</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can find me in the humor section.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b> <br />
<div style="line-height: normal; text-align: start;">
<b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Following my blog makes you cool. Trust me.</span></b></div>
<div id="mc_embed_signup" style="line-height: normal; text-align: start;">
<form action="https://blogspot.us10.list-manage.com/subscribe/post?u=e4ec1b5020bb7d2ed6e2c6350&id=87bc99358c" class="validate" id="mc-embedded-subscribe-form" method="post" name="mc-embedded-subscribe-form" novalidate="" target="_blank">
<div id="mc_embed_signup_scroll">
<label for="mce-EMAIL"><b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Sign up here to have posts delivered to your inbox:</span></b></label><br />
<input class="email" id="mce-EMAIL" name="EMAIL" placeholder="email address" required="" type="email" value="" /><br />
<br />
<div style="left: -5000px; position: absolute;">
<input name="b_e4ec1b5020bb7d2ed6e2c6350_87bc99358c" tabindex="-1" type="text" value="" /></div>
<div class="clear">
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<input class="button" id="mc-embedded-subscribe" name="subscribe" type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
</div>
</div>
</div>
</form>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-26750647529549081462015-03-31T08:50:00.001-04:002015-05-18T21:57:02.608-04:00Brennan's Reviews: Fazoli's Restaurant<h3>
<span style="color: #e06666;">A Restaurant Review as seen through the eyes of a 5 year old, written by her mother (Because she can't really write yet.) </span></h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Wi6jXc6L9qI/VRb9qXVF-OI/AAAAAAAABXc/cDP9cED-K10/s1600/Fazolis%2Breview.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Wi6jXc6L9qI/VRb9qXVF-OI/AAAAAAAABXc/cDP9cED-K10/s1600/Fazolis%2Breview.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Sometimes, when we are out and about, my mom gets this good idea that we should just go 'head and stop somewheres to eat. I really like it when she gets these kinds of ideas. My daddy...he doesn't always like it on account of how it costs lots of money to feed our whole family. At least that is what I heard him say to momma.<br />
<br />
The day we went to Fazoli's wasn't no different. Daddy kind-of didn't like that idea, but momma got him convinced cuz she had <i>coupons</i>. (Those are things that save you money. I know cuz I asked mom what they were!)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
This time she had coupons that told us what we had to eat.<br />
<br />
I didn't know how I felt about that cuz one of my favorite things 'bout eating out is that I get to CHOOSE what I want to eat. And when I asked momma what I was gonna get to eat, she said s'ghetti. That made me kind of irritated (that's a big word for "reeeeeal mad") cuz that is what I ALWAYS get and what if I wanted to choose somethin' different this time?<br />
<br />
Sometimes a girl doesn't WANT to eat her favorite food, amiright?<br />
<br />
Then daddy got irritated too and said he would "turn this van right around." And we ALL know what THAT means.<br />
<br />
No. Fun.<br />
<br />
So we zipped it right up. And dad drove us straight to that restaurant. (After he drove us home to trick us! He's such a trickster!)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-O9Y2n-ftmAs/VRb9qRW3YkI/AAAAAAAABXY/fISoA47d-vY/s1600/Brennan%2Bat%2BFazolis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-O9Y2n-ftmAs/VRb9qRW3YkI/AAAAAAAABXY/fISoA47d-vY/s1600/Brennan%2Bat%2BFazolis.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>
When we got to Fazoli's the first thing I did was find one of those cool bibs you can wear to keep the s'ghetti off yer shirt. I don't know 'bout you, but I get LOTS of s'ghetti on my shirt if I don't wear a bib.<br />
<br />
Nobody else wanted a cool bib.<br />
<br />
I guess they must like to get food on their shirt.<br />
<br />
Momma ordered our food. We got the "sample splatter" that has all kinds of good stuffs on it. Then mom asked for some extra of those fancy plates so that we could share.<br />
<br />
She said it's cuz we always waste. But that's just crazy talk.<br />
<br />
I NEVER waste s'ghetti, even when it's not what I wanted to order.<br />
<br />
Then we played this super funny game where daddy pretended that he didn't know us and him and my big brother sat at a different table. Mom said it had to do with us using more than one of those money-savers coupons. I know cuz I listened real hard when mom and dad were talkin' in the car. They don't know that I do that. I thought it was a silly game because every time I tried to talk to him he said things like "Do I know you ma'am?" and "Who is this strange child that keeps coming to my table?"<br />
<br />
He's super silly.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7ZJWQm0BBfA/VRb9qfGTrBI/AAAAAAAABXU/R1ZB7Yz3ug8/s1600/Get%2Byer%2Bbib%2Bon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7ZJWQm0BBfA/VRb9qfGTrBI/AAAAAAAABXU/R1ZB7Yz3ug8/s1600/Get%2Byer%2Bbib%2Bon.jpg" width="236" /></a></div>
Then mom gave me my cup and told me that I was gettin' dumb ole WATER to drink. But I played this fun trick that my dad taught me when he takes me out to lunch when mom is at work.<br />
<br />
Shhhh! It's 'sposed to be a <i>secret</i>! I put Sprite in my water cup. But my mom is TOO SMART for all THAT jazz! She figured us out. Then mom got mad. But not at me. She thought dad was being a "sneaker" and she told him so in her mean whisper voice.<br />
<br />
I thought that was funny.<br />
<br />
Then mom made dad go pay for more drinks. Cuz she means biz-ness when she gets her mean whisper voice on.<br />
<br />
After just a little bit of time, the guy from the restaurant brought us out our food. I like how it doesn't take lots of time for my food to come to me when I am hungry!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HP9WFBywu1M/VRb9rA-HKkI/AAAAAAAABX0/qErwBBGmo_w/s1600/I%2Bthink%2Bit%2Bneeds%2Bmore%2Bparmesan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HP9WFBywu1M/VRb9rA-HKkI/AAAAAAAABX0/qErwBBGmo_w/s1600/I%2Bthink%2Bit%2Bneeds%2Bmore%2Bparmesan.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
I decided that I was glad to get s'ghetti after all. But mom let me try some of them other noodles too. The kind that had white sauce instead of red. And I decided that it doesn't matter WHAT kind of sauce them noodles got when you can put all the parmesans you WANT on them! I like to put it on until my mom yells "STOP!" cuz that is a fun game to play too.<br />
<br />
Did you even know that they're are so many ways to eat a noodle? There are!<br />
<br />
And I like to try them ALL while I eat my pastas.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-olEXrYVgG0c/VRb9rvdNIAI/AAAAAAAABXs/g93NT0dLRlo/s1600/Ways%2BTo%2BEat%2BPasta.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-olEXrYVgG0c/VRb9rvdNIAI/AAAAAAAABXs/g93NT0dLRlo/s1600/Ways%2BTo%2BEat%2BPasta.jpg" width="210" /></a></div>
You can use your breadstick to eat them. But sometimes that is hard to do on account of how slippery them suckers are. So then you gotta just use your fingers to put that s'ghetti on there. And mom doesn't like when I do that!<br />
<br />
You can lean real far down over your plate and scoop them things right in your mouth and then slurp 'em in.<br />
<br />
You can also put 'em on your fork and then hang 'em up REAL high and try to catch them with your mouth.<br />
<br />
That is my FAVORITE way.<br />
<br />
I really like to eat pastas.<br />
<br />
And they give you SO. MUCH. FOOD. at Fazoli's that even when you have to share yours with your sister, you STILL get to take some home!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--dRnyFeNOFs/VRb9rJJ4mXI/AAAAAAAABXk/mvjSX_xl-5s/s1600/Needs%2BMore%2BParmesan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="188" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--dRnyFeNOFs/VRb9rJJ4mXI/AAAAAAAABXk/mvjSX_xl-5s/s1600/Needs%2BMore%2BParmesan.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
And since I am super big, I went and got my little box all. by. myself! And I scooped my food in there by myself, too.<br />
<br />
The trick to taking these things home, is adding LOTS more of that parmesan to your box a'fore you close it.<br />
<br />
So that is EXACTLY what I did.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GN-0S_TZpm8/VRb9sI7jADI/AAAAAAAABX4/sUBt4vPfgzU/s1600/finger%2Blickin%2Brating.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GN-0S_TZpm8/VRb9sI7jADI/AAAAAAAABX4/sUBt4vPfgzU/s1600/finger%2Blickin%2Brating.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I really love this fancy place.<br />
<br />
And that is why I give it 5 out of 5 freshly-licked-fingers. (Cuz who wants to use a silly napkin when you can eat that sauce right off them suckers?!)<br />
<br />
I think that when you are out and about YOU should eat at Fazoli's too. It's fast and it's yummy. And they give you a BIG thing of parmesans on your table so you can use as much as you want!<br />
<br />
Oh! And you can wear a bib so you don't make a mess on your favorite shirt.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="color: #999999;">All opinions in these restaurant reviews are my own and given for free cuz I like to </span></i><i><span style="color: #999999;">talk and tell stories. </span></i><i><span style="color: #999999;">Nobody gives me any free food or moneys to tell about my 'ventures. </span></i><i><span style="color: #999999;">(But if they wanted to, my ears would be listening for sure.)</span></i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
</span></b> <b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Did you like my review? Did you know there are more of these suckers?! </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">What can I say? I like to eat! You should probably read them too...</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/2014/08/brennans-reviews-cracker-barrel.html">The Cracker Barrel Restaurant</a></span><br />
<a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/2014/09/brennans-reviews-steak-and-shake.html">Steak 'n Shake Restaurant</a><br />
<a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/2015/02/brennans-reviews-hibachi-grill-buffet.html">The Hibachi Grill Buffet</a><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #999999;"><br />
</span></i></div>
<b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I also wrote about a cool movie that I love to watch. You can read that here:</span></b><br />
<a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/2014/11/brennan-reviews-prima-princessa.html">Prima Princessa presents The Nutcracker</a><br />
___________________________________________________________________<br />
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<b><span style="color: red;"><br />
</span></b> <b><span style="color: red;">HELP ME BECOME THE BEST BLOGGER IN THE WHOLE WORLD!</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay, that was a tad bit exaggerated. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But clicking the banner below DOES give me a vote. And votes make me happy.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So help a sistah out, would ya?</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 27.08px; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Please take a minute and rate my blog while you are there.</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>You can find me in the humor section.</b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<!-- Begin MailChimp Signup Form --><br />
<link href="//cdn-images.mailchimp.com/embedcode/slim-081711.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css"></link><br />
<style type="text/css">
#mc_embed_signup{clear:left; font:14px Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; }
/* Add your own MailChimp form style overrides in your site stylesheet or in this style block.
We recommend moving this block and the preceding CSS link to the HEAD of your HTML file. */
</style><b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Following my blog makes you cool. Trust me.</span></b><br />
<div id="mc_embed_signup">
<form action="//blogspot.us10.list-manage.com/subscribe/post?u=e4ec1b5020bb7d2ed6e2c6350&id=87bc99358c" class="validate" id="mc-embedded-subscribe-form" method="post" name="mc-embedded-subscribe-form" novalidate="" target="_blank">
<div id="mc_embed_signup_scroll">
<label for="mce-EMAIL"><b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Sign up here to have posts delivered to your inbox:</span></b></label><br />
<input class="email" id="mce-EMAIL" name="EMAIL" placeholder="email address" required="" type="email" value="" /><br />
<!-- real people should not fill this in and expect good things - do not remove this or risk form bot signups--><br />
<div style="left: -5000px; position: absolute;">
<input name="b_e4ec1b5020bb7d2ed6e2c6350_87bc99358c" tabindex="-1" type="text" value="" /></div>
<div class="clear">
<input class="button" id="mc-embedded-subscribe" name="subscribe" type="submit" value="Subscribe" /></div>
</div>
</form>
</div>
<br />
<!--End mc_embed_signup-->A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-88942389401190363232015-03-24T09:34:00.000-04:002015-05-18T21:58:47.214-04:00Marriage is like a Bra...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-N1O_dLMjlHA/VRFmonu4ykI/AAAAAAAABW4/0ExpjfRF90g/s1600/Marriage%2Bis%2Blike%2Ba%2BBra.png.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-N1O_dLMjlHA/VRFmonu4ykI/AAAAAAAABW4/0ExpjfRF90g/s1600/Marriage%2Bis%2Blike%2Ba%2BBra.png.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Marriage is like a bra.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
Well, that's an analogy you probably haven't heard before! But it is true!<br />
<br />
Marriage <i>is</i> like a stretchy well broken-in bra!<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /><br />
It takes a strong under-wire and lots of give to keep your marriage afloat. But there is also comfort and support. Don't get me wrong, it isn't perfection. There are going to be times when that pesky wire starts digging into your side. There are going to be times when you really wish you could fling that sucker across the room, too! But, despite the tough times, there are a lot of perks to being in a committed, forever kind of relationship.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;"><b>Comfort.</b></span> Just like your bra, a marriage can be very comfortable once it is broken in.<br />
<br />
You can wear yoga pants, or sweat pants, or even NO pants. You probably could even wear the SAME pair of pants for two days in a row. A husband doesn't mind if, occasionally, you are rocking out last nights pants. Especially if he knows he can take them off later.<br />
<br />
You don't have to shave your legs every day. Or even every week. When you are married, you can be comfortable. You know each other. You have seen each other at both your best and worst times.<br />
<br />
You can burn dinner. No need to be Martha Stewart 24/7. A husband loves you for more than your (lack of) domestic skills. And if he is a <i>smart</i> husband, he won't even complain!<br />
<br />
Your feet can stink. Sure, he might make a few smart-mouthed comments about it, or even a weird face, but he won't high tale it to the hills. Instead, he will make fun of you until you wash them. But a good sense of humor is important, right? And he might even rub 'em! Once they are clean, of course.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;"><b>Support. </b></span>Just like a your bra, marriage has a lot of support when the fit is right.<br />
<br />
You can vent about your bad day or the fact that you are five seconds from duct taping the kids to the wall. You can even completely lose it on occasion, and he will still stand by you and love you. And chances are, if you have a good (read: smart) husband, he may even try do something to fix it.<br />
<br />
You always have someone to talk too, even when you are using the bathroom. You never need to feel alone in this world with a man who is willing to battle the fumes to have five minutes of peaceful conversation with you by your side!<br />
<br />
The bottom line: A husband loves every inch of you. Even sans bra. He doesn't care if your breasts aren't as perky without all that wire and spandex holding them in place. This man loves you IN SPITE OF your flaws. And who could ask for more than that.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.theeyesofaboy.com/march-marriage-challenge" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sc-RI9_GRK4/VRDH91huR0I/AAAAAAAABWg/hW5RkrSoCCQ/s1600/marriage%2Bchallenge.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<i><b>This post was written as part of the March Marriage Challenge, co-hosted by <a href="http://www.theeyesofaboy.com/">The Eyes of a Boy</a> and <a href="http://www.huppiemama.com/">Huppie Mama</a>. Check out the rest of the amazing marriage focused posts <a href="http://www.theeyesofaboy.com/march-marriage-challenge">here</a>.</b></i> <br />
<i><br />
</i> <br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">*Bra background in title photo courtesy of Sicha Pongjivanich via freedigitalphotos.net</span></i><br />
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: red;"><br />
</span></b> <b><span style="color: red;"><br />
</span></b> <b><span style="color: red;"><br />
</span></b> <b><span style="color: red;">HELP ME BECOME THE BEST BLOGGER IN THE WHOLE WORLD!</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay, that was a tad bit exaggerated. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But clicking the banner below DOES give me a vote. And votes make me happy.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So help a sistah out, would ya?</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<div>
<b><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Please take a minute and rate my blog while you are there.</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can find me in the humor section.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div style="line-height: normal; text-align: start;">
<b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Following my blog makes you cool. Trust me.</span></b></div>
<div id="mc_embed_signup" style="line-height: normal; text-align: start;">
<form action="https://blogspot.us10.list-manage.com/subscribe/post?u=e4ec1b5020bb7d2ed6e2c6350&id=87bc99358c" class="validate" id="mc-embedded-subscribe-form" method="post" name="mc-embedded-subscribe-form" novalidate="" target="_blank">
<div id="mc_embed_signup_scroll">
<label for="mce-EMAIL"><b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Sign up here to have posts delivered to your inbox:</span></b></label><br />
<input class="email" id="mce-EMAIL" name="EMAIL" placeholder="email address" required="" type="email" value="" /><br />
<br />
<div style="left: -5000px; position: absolute;">
<input name="b_e4ec1b5020bb7d2ed6e2c6350_87bc99358c" tabindex="-1" type="text" value="" /></div>
<div class="clear">
<input class="button" id="mc-embedded-subscribe" name="subscribe" type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</form>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-25354124755234050542015-03-15T09:45:00.000-04:002015-05-26T21:29:17.636-04:00Dinner & A Show: Not Your Momma's Grilled Cheese<span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit;"><i>I LOVE Netflix. But let's face it, they offer so many choices that sometimes it is just plain hard to choose! So, as a public service to YOU, I am going to share a new Netflix find and, as a bonus, I am going to include one of my favorite recipes to go along with it! So sit back, relax, and let me bring you the perfect night in courtesy of Netflix.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit;"><i></i></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit;"><i><br />
</i></span> <span style="font-family: inherit;">Whether with your spouse, your best friends, or even alone (gasp!) this delicious, Not-Your-Momma's Grilled Cheese sandwich and short Netflix original show (just 25 minutes per episode) is the perfect way to spend your few minutes of much needed peace. Enjoy!</span><br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit;"><i><br />
</i></span> <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FBImkWSGduQ/VQS-pSjKroI/AAAAAAAABUo/N9nVne-gSas/s1600/dinner%2Band%2Ba%2Bshow%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FBImkWSGduQ/VQS-pSjKroI/AAAAAAAABUo/N9nVne-gSas/s1600/dinner%2Band%2Ba%2Bshow%2B1.jpg" width="308" /></a></div>
Parents are busy. That is just part of the job description. We are extremely lucky if we get ANY time to ourselves. But, in the crazy off-chance that we DO get a little break (nap time, anyone?) I have the perfect way to spend 30 minutes.<br />
<br />
Laughing.<br />
<br />
<i>Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt</i> is just the show to tickle your funny bone. While enjoying the first episode in bed, I actually snort-laughed my husband awake! Whoops! Thankfully he thought it was his own snoring and fell right back to sleep. Whew! That was a close one.<br />
<br />
Netflix recently released the whole 1st season of this original show. That means you have 13 episodes to sneak in the bathroom with you.<br />
<br />
What? Sometimes moms have to get creative to get a few much needed moments of quiet!<br />
<br />
Back to the show... <i>Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt</i> chronicles the life of Kimmy Schmidt (I know, spoiler alert!), a somewhat naive young woman who spent the last 15 years of her life in an underground bunker. She was suckered by a cult leader, along with several other women, into believing an apocalypse had wiped out the world. After being rescued, she tries to find her way in a world that she knows little about. She ends up in NYC (to be featured on The Today Show) and decides to stay there. With the help of a flamboyantly gay roommate who has dreams of musical stardom, a landlord who is not quite right in the head (but hilarious), and a newly acquired job as a nanny to a stereotypical "rich" family, she sets off to figure out who she is. Check out this preview of the show-<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/mNKEKlXY3Z4/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/mNKEKlXY3Z4?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<br />
Now, on to the good to eat stuff...<br />
<br />
Who doesn't like a little something to munch on while watching TV? I know I do!<br />
<br />
And if it is cheesy, I am all in! (This girl LOVES some ooey-gooey cheesy goodness!)<br />
<br />
This month, I want to share one of my all-time favorite recipes for when you just don't feel like cooking but you want something good to munch on. This surprisingly simple, yet divine, grilled cheese sandwich that takes only minutes to prepare. But don't get me wrong, this isn't your average grilled cheese! I would classify it as "gourmet", but I also spend my days in yoga pants chasing kids. So, perspective. Either way, it <i>is</i> delicious.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OrQPvFMIwbM/VQS-6u-fgOI/AAAAAAAABUw/dvghfWcyEK8/s1600/Not%2Byour%2Bmommas%2Bgrilled%2Bcheese.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="245" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OrQPvFMIwbM/VQS-6u-fgOI/AAAAAAAABUw/dvghfWcyEK8/s1600/Not%2Byour%2Bmommas%2Bgrilled%2Bcheese.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-itIfpLM1WK0/VQTS9qToyrI/AAAAAAAABVA/D2BIHbImkPE/s1600/10423792_416242798552144_3117449912852056393_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="152" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-itIfpLM1WK0/VQTS9qToyrI/AAAAAAAABVA/D2BIHbImkPE/s1600/10423792_416242798552144_3117449912852056393_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ingredients:</span></b><br />
3 ounces cream cheese, softened<br />
1/4 cup mayonnaise<br />
1/2 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese<br />
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese<br />
1/4 tsp garlic powder<br />
1/8 tsp seasoned salt<br />
Butter<br />
Thick slices of bakery style bread<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-85rtyNuZGD0/VQTUXJhhT7I/AAAAAAAABVU/ZeCn8BhFCXM/s1600/10676343_416242721885485_3622882632796728661_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="153" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-85rtyNuZGD0/VQTUXJhhT7I/AAAAAAAABVU/ZeCn8BhFCXM/s1600/10676343_416242721885485_3622882632796728661_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Directions:</span></b><br />
In small mixing bowl, combine cream cheese and mayonnaise, stirring until smooth. Stir in cheeses and seasonings. Spread the mixture on a slice of bread, keeping in mind that the more mixture you use, the cheesier your sandwich will be. I use around a 1/4 cup on my sandwiches. Top the mixture with an additional slice of bread. Spread butter on both of the outer sides of your sandwich.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-J31wGVllmFI/VQTT1fGBeSI/AAAAAAAABVM/lONhA8tNkJk/s1600/10629628_416242715218819_5018265110679521428_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="153" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-J31wGVllmFI/VQTT1fGBeSI/AAAAAAAABVM/lONhA8tNkJk/s1600/10629628_416242715218819_5018265110679521428_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
Grill in a preheated skillet, George Foreman, or panini press until both sides are golden brown and the cheese is oozing out of the sides of your sandwich. Pair it with a pickle or a steamy bowl of tomato soup, either way enjoy your cheesy goodness while you catch up on some Netflix.<br />
<b>Serves: 4-6</b><br />
<br />
<b><a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XfwNnnYzYpnrgIwncqlgWaHBe2wUCjeJrImLQpDqDII/edit?usp=sharing"><span style="font-size: large;">Click for a printable version of this recipe</span></a></b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NuUouHMnmLo/VQTWlTS19fI/AAAAAAAABVg/i_cVkHNmR-0/s1600/11050272_416242635218827_6799154109674635324_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NuUouHMnmLo/VQTWlTS19fI/AAAAAAAABVg/i_cVkHNmR-0/s1600/11050272_416242635218827_6799154109674635324_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CBf-YCkKS-I/VQTXGacAsyI/AAAAAAAABVk/KBjXxI93fwE/s1600/UKS_Keyart_US-MAIN.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CBf-YCkKS-I/VQTXGacAsyI/AAAAAAAABVk/KBjXxI93fwE/s1600/UKS_Keyart_US-MAIN.jpg" width="216" /></a><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.netflix.com/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="107" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q0mZkMbvxmg/VG9687EwvUI/AAAAAAAAA-E/fMoc9JlkaUk/s1600/Netflix_Logo_Print_FourColorCMYK.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="line-height: 27.08px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I receive complimentary service in return for my endorsement, but all opinions and referrals are 100% my own opinion.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<b><span style="color: red;">HELP ME BECOME THE BEST BLOGGER IN THE WHOLE WORLD!</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay, that was a tad bit exaggerated. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But clicking the banner below DOES give me a vote. And votes make me happy.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So help a sistah out, would ya?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px; text-align: start;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>Please take a minute and rate my blog while you are there.</b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>You can find me in the humor section.</b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b><br /></b></i></span>
<br />
<div>
<div style="line-height: normal; text-align: start;">
<b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Following my blog makes you cool. Trust me.</span></b></div>
<div id="mc_embed_signup" style="line-height: normal; text-align: start;">
<form action="https://blogspot.us10.list-manage.com/subscribe/post?u=e4ec1b5020bb7d2ed6e2c6350&id=87bc99358c" class="validate" id="mc-embedded-subscribe-form" method="post" name="mc-embedded-subscribe-form" novalidate="" target="_blank">
<div id="mc_embed_signup_scroll">
<label for="mce-EMAIL"><b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Sign up here to have posts delivered to your inbox:</span></b></label><br />
<input class="email" id="mce-EMAIL" name="EMAIL" placeholder="email address" required="" type="email" value="" /><br />
<br />
<div style="left: -5000px; position: absolute;">
<input name="b_e4ec1b5020bb7d2ed6e2c6350_87bc99358c" tabindex="-1" type="text" value="" /></div>
<div class="clear">
<input class="button" id="mc-embedded-subscribe" name="subscribe" type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</form>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-63428791281738981172015-03-06T10:26:00.000-05:002015-05-18T21:59:55.277-04:00Kids say the darndest things.This morning, as I was taking my morning constitutional, my 5 year old daughter, Brennan, came in to chat. Lucky me, right?! But, if you are a mother, you know that you can't even poop in peace! So not really THAT surprising.<br />
<br />
Today was no different than normal, talking about important topics such as hair piece placement and jewelry box contents, until I finished and went to flush. Then it got weird.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /><br />
"Where does our poopy go when we flush?"<br />
<br />
Innocent enough question, right? So I answered, "It goes down to the sewer."<br />
<br />
"You mean where the *whispers* devil lives?"<br />
<br />
Cue jaw drop.<br />
<br />
"Um, no. Where the poop goes."<br />
<br />
"The devil lives in poop?"<br />
<br />
Some days it is just too much to explain. But it did get me to thinkin'....kids have some pretty hilarious misconceptions sometimes. So I gathered up my favorite bloggers from all corners of the blogosphere and asked them to share some of their best mind-blowing kidisms.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><a href="http://www.bigtopfamily.com/"><span style="color: purple;">BIG TOP FAMILY</span></a> </b> </span><br />
<span data-reactid=".4m.$mid=11423939588982=226d9377d4dd4105416.2:0.0.0.0.0.0.$end:0:$0:0" style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I'm not a HUGE believer in teaching my kids to correctly label all the private parts by their anatomical name. (I mean, even as an adult, I don't do that for MY OWN body parts.) </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;">But recently I've been thinking that my 5yo twin sons might get in trouble at school if they called their junk what they currently do: wieners and nuts. (Thanks to their dad for these lovely terms!) </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;">So I've been trying to use the word "penis" more and more, because if they talked about their penis in kindergarten, it would probably be less offensive than waving the word wiener around, amiright? </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;">But this morning, as I was yelling at the twins to get dressed for the 99th time, Drew started yelping in pain. He'd forgotten to put underpants on under his jeans, and I quote, had ZIPPED UP HIS WEENISS.</span><br />
<span data-reactid=".4m.$mid=11423939588982=226d9377d4dd4105416.2:0.0.0.0.0.0.$end:0:$6:0" style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span> <span data-reactid=".4m.$mid=11423939588982=226d9377d4dd4105416.2:0.0.0.0.0.0.$end:0:$6:0" style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Don't be alarmed, everyone. His weeniss is just fine.</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #e06666;">***<a href="http://www.facebook.com/bigtopfamily" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Follow Big Top Family on Facebook</a>***</span></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span data-reactid=".4m.$mid=11423939588982=226d9377d4dd4105416.2:0.0.0.0.0.0.$end:0:$6:0" span="" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><a href="http://www.fullmetalmommy.com/"><span style="color: purple;">FULL METAL MOMMY</span></a> </b> </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-z9Qmo9IMJU4/VPfNPHZPJEI/AAAAAAAABT0/aqDcU2kZcAw/s1600/Hey%2Bmom!.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-z9Qmo9IMJU4/VPfNPHZPJEI/AAAAAAAABT0/aqDcU2kZcAw/s1600/Hey%2Bmom!.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<span data-reactid=".4m.$mid=11423939588982=226d9377d4dd4105416.2:0.0.0.0.0.0.$end:0:$6:0" style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Destruction: (noun) the action or process of causing so much damage to something that it no longer exists or cannot be repaired. Also, what my four year old calls the instruction booklet that comes with all of his toys and games. “Hey mom, let’s look at the destructions and find out what this toy does”. To be completely honest his use of the word is pretty appropriate if you’ve ever put together a shelf from Ikea or tried to assemble a baby swing. I don’t think I’ll ever correct him.</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #e06666;">***<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/fullmetalmommy">Follow Full Metal Mommy on Facebook</a></span>***</span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><a href="http://www.modernmommymadness.com/"><span style="color: purple;">MODERN MOMMY MADNESS</span></a> </b> </span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; text-align: start;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We just found our 6-year-old sitting on the bathroom counter, looking at his nose in the mirror.</span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; text-align: start;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Parent: <i>What are you doing?</i></span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; text-align: start;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Child: <i>I’m Googling my nose.</i></span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; text-align: start;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Parent: <i>… Do you know what “Googling” means?</i></span></div>
</div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Child: <i>Yeah! It means “to look up.”</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #e06666;"><i style="font-family: inherit;">***</i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/modernmommymadness">Follow Modern Mommy Madness on Facebook</a></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">***</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e06666;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><a href="http://www.megsanity.com/"><span style="color: purple;">MEGSANITY. WOMEN, PSYCHOLOGY AND EXPLETIVES</span></a> </b> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Misconceptions abound at our house, particularly when dealing with the intelligence of pets (and creatures in general). Recently, I caught my children staring at an ant hill, yelling, ”Yo, ants! Look over there!” They were using orange juice to “prank” the ants into walking away from their hill so they could dig around in it. On a related note, ants are also not excited about listening to stories. In case you wondered.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #e06666;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">***</span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Megsanity-Women-psychology-and-expletives/669353316429847?ref=br_tf">Follow Megsanity on Facebook</a></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">***</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><a href="http://www.juiceboxconfession.com/"><span style="color: purple;">JUICEBOX CONFESSION</span></a> </b> </span></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #222222; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #222222; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GKL5v8m8Ue0/VPers_bV9iI/AAAAAAAABTM/ZfbbQtLhtyE/s1600/Cloud%2BFactory.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="135" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GKL5v8m8Ue0/VPers_bV9iI/AAAAAAAABTM/ZfbbQtLhtyE/s1600/Cloud%2BFactory.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Driving through our town I heard my four-year-old in the back seat gasp and say, "Momma! Dada! Look!!! I found a cloud factory! Is that where clouds come from?" I looked to where she was pointing and saw white puffy smoke billowing out of a brick smoke stack. It looked exactly like a cloud factory to me. </span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #e06666;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">***</span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/juiceboxconfession">Follow Juicebox Confession of Facebook</a></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">***</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><a href="http://www.canigetanotherbottleofwhine.com/"><span style="color: purple;">CAN I GET ANOTHER BOTTLE OF WHINE WITH MY MORNING QUIET TIME?</span> </a></b> </span><br />
<div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; text-align: center;">Me: Did you know your 8th great grandfather fought in the Revolutionary War?</span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17.9400005340576px;">9yo: Wow, really? How long ago was that? Were you alive?</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17.9400005340576px;">Me: </span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17.9400005340576px;">9yo: Was the world black and white when you were a kid?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #e06666;"><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.9400005340576px;">***</span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; line-height: 17.9400005340576px;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/CanIGetAnotherBottleOfWhineWithMyMorningQuietTime">Follow Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine on Facebook</a></span><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.9400005340576px;">***</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<span style="color: #141823; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><a href="http://www.thebeardedjs.wordpress.com/"><span style="color: purple;">LIFE WITH THE BEARDED J'S</span> </a></b> </span></span></span><br />
<div>
<div>
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I drove<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px;"> past a church a couple days ago with my 3 year old daughter. When she asked what it was, I explained it was a church and referred to it as "God's house." </span><span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px;">Now every time we drive past she talks about how beautiful God's house is. She wonders if God watches PBS Kids, plays with toys and has snack or nap time. She most recently asked me if she could go to God's house to watch <i>Frozen</i> with Him and share her grapes and chocolate milk.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God grant me the strength to deal with this every time we pass your house.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #e06666;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">***</span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/lifewiththebeardedjs">Follow The Bearded Js on Facebook</a></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">***</span></span><b style="color: #141823; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</b></span> <span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><a href="http://www.housewifeplus.bangordailynews.com/"><span style="color: purple;">HOUSEWIFE PLUS</span> </a></b> </span><br />
<div>
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px;">When my then 2YO son was playing with kitchen utensils he started babbling on and on about the rubber spatula. He usually played with his dad's tools and was forever trying on his dad's shoes, gloves...you know...dad stuff. Later that night after dinner he asked his dad to pass him the "Mommy Hammer".</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #e06666;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">***</span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/housewifeplus">Follow Housewife Plus on Facebook</a></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">***</span></span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><a href="http://www.smashleyashley.com/"><span style="color: purple;">SMASHLEY ASHLEY</span></a> </b> </span> </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vp7YM5ZJQ8E/VPe15zdpa0I/AAAAAAAABTk/MurjyJgvevI/s1600/Goat%2Bsoap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vp7YM5ZJQ8E/VPe15zdpa0I/AAAAAAAABTk/MurjyJgvevI/s1600/Goat%2Bsoap.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #141823; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span data-reactid=".bc.$mid=11423581092212=23adde6ca50acd25f63.2:0.0.0.0.0.0.$end:0:$0:0" style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sometimes baths are tough...</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #141823; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span data-reactid=".bc.$mid=11423581092212=23adde6ca50acd25f63.2:0.0.0.0.0.0.$end:0:$0:0" style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;">7yo: ABSOLUTELY NOT! DO NOT PUT THAT STUFF ON ME!</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #141823; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span data-reactid=".bc.$mid=11423581092212=23adde6ca50acd25f63.2:0.0.0.0.0.0.$end:0:$2:0" style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Smash: Haydan, it's SOAP!!! You have to put soap on your body when you bathe.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #141823; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span data-reactid=".bc.$mid=11423581092212=23adde6ca50acd25f63.2:0.0.0.0.0.0.$end:0:$4:0" style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;">7yo: You said it has GHOSTS IN IT.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #141823; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span data-reactid=".bc.$mid=11423581092212=23adde6ca50acd25f63.2:0.0.0.0.0.0.$end:0:$6:0" style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Smash: No, I sait it's GOATS milk soap!</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span data-reactid=".bc.$mid=11423581092212=23adde6ca50acd25f63.2:0.0.0.0.0.0.$end:0:$8:0" style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;">7yo: So, no ghost?</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span data-reactid=".bc.$mid=11423581092212=23adde6ca50acd25f63.2:0.0.0.0.0.0.$end:0:$10:0" style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Smash: No ghosts. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span data-reactid=".bc.$mid=11423581092212=23adde6ca50acd25f63.2:0.0.0.0.0.0.$end:0:$12:0" style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;">7yo So, just crushed up goats?</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span data-reactid=".bc.$mid=11423581092212=23adde6ca50acd25f63.2:0.0.0.0.0.0.$end:0:$14:0" style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; olor: #373e4d; white-space: pre-wrap;">Smash: Uhm, almost there. Goats MILK soap.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #141823; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15.3599996566772px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Child, please just take an effin' bath.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #141823; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #e06666;">***<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/crazylifeofsmash">Follow SmashleyAshley on Facebook</a></span>***</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #141823; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><a href="http://www.thrillermom.blogspot.com/"><span style="color: purple;">THRILLER MOM</span></a> </b> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">My big girl exited the school beaming with joy. </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">“Mommy, I made a new friend!” </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">“So what does she look like?” I probed.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">“Well…she’s a girl. And she has a very pretty smile. Oh, and she has dirty blonde hair. Like blonde and brown mixed together. You know…like someone threw dirt on it?!”</span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Our conversation continued and I tried to clear up the confusion. I explained that the “dirty” in dirty-blonde wasn’t because of dirt (for most people). However, all of my efforts were made through my own laughter. </span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18.3999996185303px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m still not sure if she </span><i style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18.3999996185303px; white-space: pre-wrap;">really</i><span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18.3999996185303px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18.3999996185303px; white-space: pre-wrap;">understands what having dirty-blonde hair means.</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 115%; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I guess this friend will remain the dirty-blonde, with dirt in her hair, until our next go-round.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #e06666;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">***</span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/thrillermom">Follow Thriller Mom on Facebook</a></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">***</span></span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><a href="http://www.silenceofthemom.blogspot.com/"><span style="color: purple;">SILENCE OF THE MOM</span></a> </b> </span> </div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The other day my daughter says to me: “Mommy, you know the yucky word that starts with “s” and ends with “x”?” </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I responded: “Yes, why?”</span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After she and my son got their giggles under control, she replied: “Autumn told me that Sharon and another boy were doing it and Autumn’s mother got them in trouble.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I asked: “What grade is Sharon in?!” </span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;">My daughter replied: “3</span><sup style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;">rd</sup><span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> grade, I think.”</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“What do you think that word means?” I asked them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My son said: “It means smoochy kissing. And sometimes you have a baby.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So there you have it. Sex is smoochy kissing that sometimes results in a baby. </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Moral of the story: Be careful who you smoochy kiss.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e06666;"><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;">***</span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/silenceofthemom">Follow Silence of the Mom on Facebook</a></span><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;">***</span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;"> </span></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><a href="http://www.outmanned.com/"><span style="color: purple;">OUTMANNED</span></a> </b> </span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When my oldest son was about a month into potty training we bravely (or stupidly, depending on how you look at it) decided to go on vacation. I’d anticipated some resistance to his new potty routine, but was not prepared for his outright refusal to utilize public restrooms. </span></span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I could tell from the way my three-year-old was standing, and the smell that was wafting from his general direction, that he needed to poop. He was not a hold-it-in kid and I knew he must be uncomfortable, but no matter how hard I tried I could not convince him to do his business in the airport bathroom. </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Finally, I resorted to a little embellishment of the truth to help ease his retention: I explained that the toilets on airplanes were special and if he did a poop on the plane, when he flushed, a hole would open up in the bottom of the plane and his poop would be sucked out, then fall for thousands of feet, and probably wind up landing on someone’s head. He thought this was the funniest thing he ever heard, and was definitely not going to miss the opportunity to take a dump on some unsuspecting stranger’s head. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></span></span> <span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now, almost two years later, he still mentions flying turds any time he sees an airplane over head. So far he’s managed to stay clean.</span></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: #e06666;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">***</span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/OutmannedMommy">Follow Outmanned on Facebook</a></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">***</span></span></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
</span></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>***</b></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Have your kids ever misunderstood something in a hilarious manner?</b></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Share it with us!</b></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>***</b></span></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #141823; line-height: 17.9400005340576px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></span><b style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">HELP ME BECOME THE BEST BLOGGER IN THE WHOLE WORLD!</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay, that was a tad bit exaggerated. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But clicking the banner below DOES give me a vote. And votes make me happy.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So help a sistah out, would ya?</span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px; text-align: start;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>Please take a minute and rate my blog while you are there.</b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>You can find me in the humor section.</b></i></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b><br />
</b></i></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: start;">
<b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Following my blog makes you cool. Trust me.</span></b></div>
<div id="mc_embed_signup" style="text-align: start;">
<form action="https://blogspot.us10.list-manage.com/subscribe/post?u=e4ec1b5020bb7d2ed6e2c6350&id=87bc99358c" class="validate" id="mc-embedded-subscribe-form" method="post" name="mc-embedded-subscribe-form" novalidate="" target="_blank">
<div id="mc_embed_signup_scroll">
<label for="mce-EMAIL"><b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Sign up here to have posts delivered to your inbox:</span></b></label><br />
<input class="email" id="mce-EMAIL" name="EMAIL" placeholder="email address" required="" type="email" value="" /><br />
<br />
<div style="left: -5000px; position: absolute;">
<input name="b_e4ec1b5020bb7d2ed6e2c6350_87bc99358c" tabindex="-1" type="text" value="" /></div>
<div class="clear">
<input class="button" id="mc-embedded-subscribe" name="subscribe" type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</form>
</div>
<div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-6053529596520128532015-03-01T09:04:00.000-05:002015-06-02T20:00:29.152-04:00I Will Never Be a Pinterest Mom: A guest post by Harmony Hobbs<img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ltQlJgMIkJY/VPJyFN1TJlI/AAAAAAAABRg/5WinSj1MxAA/s1600/Not%2BAnother.png" style="display: none;" /><br />
<div style="color: #222222;">
<div style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Find the brilliant Harmony Hobbs over on <a href="http://www.modernmommymadness.com/">Modern Mommy Madness</a>!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 16.86px;">_________________________</span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black; font-size: medium; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><b>I will Never be a Pinterest Mom</b></span></div>
<div style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">by Harmony Hobbs of Modern Mommy Madness</span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ltQlJgMIkJY/VPJyFN1TJlI/AAAAAAAABRg/5WinSj1MxAA/s1600/Not%2BAnother.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ltQlJgMIkJY/VPJyFN1TJlI/AAAAAAAABRg/5WinSj1MxAA/s1600/Not%2BAnother.png" /></a></div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Recently my first-grader came home laden with Pinterest-worthy treats given to him by classmates at a school party, proving once again that I am "that" mom. You know. The lazy one.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I immediately did that title justice by spending the next 2 hours on autopilot and serving frozen pizza for dinner.</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: inherit;">The thing is, I'm not really lazy. My house is orderly. I keep up with the basic hygiene of three children plus myself on a daily basis. I vacuum. Would a truly lazy mom do that? Hell no.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I don't think people give moms enough credit for simply covering the <i>basic essentials. </i>It's hard to keep food in the house, the laundry under control, and force the creaky machine of a family of five to keep running. Anything beyond that is what we folks down in Louisiana call<i>langiappe.</i> It's pronounced "lan-yap" and it means "extra." Otherwise known as, "not going to happen."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I resent the fact that, on top of all the basic stuff I'm already responsible for, I'm supposed to drum up some super-fancy goody bags for 25 children when random holidays, birthday parties, or whatever other celebratory events roll around. I straight up refuse to stress over anything extra at this particular point in my life, when I am ass-deep in sippy cups.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Here are some other things I refuse to do:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">1. <b>Fold sheets.</b> I distinctly remember my dad teaching me a young age how to pick up a sheet and roll it really fast into a wad, kind of like your arms are the cardboard and the sheets are the toilet paper. That is what I do to this day, as a 35-year-old woman. Then they get crammed into a drawer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Don't you dare judge me. You know you're going to try it as soon as you're finished reading this post.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-R89bX7uFbrM/VPJlLE32PJI/AAAAAAAABRA/UOuFmXdKQ50/s1600/6d7eaadbe26ae0d649420321d3977ca9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="224" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-R89bX7uFbrM/VPJlLE32PJI/AAAAAAAABRA/UOuFmXdKQ50/s1600/6d7eaadbe26ae0d649420321d3977ca9.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">2. <b>Fold my children's clothes.</b> They either get crammed into their designated drawer, or hung up in the closet. What's the point of folding footie pajamas when they're just going to get unfolded later, when the toddlers inevitably drag all of their clothes into a giant pile in the middle of the floor and jump in them? In order to save myself (and them) from the wrath that manifests when carefully-folded clothes are unfolded by children, <i>I simply refuse to fold them.</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></i></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">3. <b>Fold my husband's clothes.</b> See #2. My husband might not throw all of his undershirts into a pile and then play in them, but he might as well. Every time he goes searching for anything, he leaves the scene looking almost exactly like my children do. LIKE A TORNADO WAS APPROACHING SO HE/THEY HAD TO SMEAR TOOTHPASTE ALL OVER THE COUNTERS AND THROW WET TOWELS ON THE FLOOR IN CASE THIS WAS THEIR LAST CHANCE TO DO SO.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">4. <b>Organize anything that is hidden in a drawer or cabinet.</b> I'm already maxed out by the task of keeping the visible portion of my home clean. See above for details.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">5.<b> Stress out over what is actually in a McDonald's chicken nugget.</b> I did that already with child #1 and #2. By the time that third one came along, I didn't have enough cares in my care bag to care about <i>that. </i>It's food and I didn't have to make it. Sold.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">6. <b>Skimp on showering, coffee, or wine.</b> I require a few basic things to keep me sane and I will under no circumstance give them up. Come hell or high water, I'm having my two cups of coffee before I do anything else, including holding a coherent conversation with any member of my household.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm sure I'm leaving a few things out, but you get the picture. Now if you'll excuse me, it is time for me to pour my wine into the plastic Spider-man cup that I drink out of (in lieu of a fancy glass), and space out in front of a Netflix Original Series.</span><br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7XW_3iMPNE4/VPJrygmu5fI/AAAAAAAABRQ/6B6sv6jeIKY/s1600/11008852_10155456572100508_709040246_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7XW_3iMPNE4/VPJrygmu5fI/AAAAAAAABRQ/6B6sv6jeIKY/s1600/11008852_10155456572100508_709040246_n.jpg" width="181" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Harmony is a full-time mother of three who navigates the waters of motherhood without any grace or finesse whatsoever. She self-medicates via strong coffee, red wine, and writing all the things that she can't say out loud. You can find her on her blog, <a href="http://www.modernmommymadness.com/">Modern Mommy Madness</a>, and also on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/modernmommymadness">Facebook</a> and <a href="http://www.twitter.com/modmommad">Twitter</a>.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia;">____________________</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia;">_____________________________</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>This is an award-winning post!</i></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 27.08px; text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RNSBUdbofBo/VW5BnkfzAsI/AAAAAAAABlI/B1GiaDVl0Yo/s1600/Best%2BGuest%2B%25281%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RNSBUdbofBo/VW5BnkfzAsI/AAAAAAAABlI/B1GiaDVl0Yo/s1600/Best%2BGuest%2B%25281%2529.png" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 27.08px;">The 2015 Best of the Guest Blog Awards</i></div>
<div style="color: #333333;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666;"><i>________________________________________________________</i></span></span></div>
</div>
<div style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 27.08px;">
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<div style="color: #333333;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 16.86px;"><br />
</span></b></span> </div>
<div style="font-size: medium; line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<b>If you love the stories you find on this blog, please take a minute and click this banner. Each "vote" improves my ranking and helps me be seen by more great wannabe fans! Thanks! <3</b></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #333333; line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px; text-align: start;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-89918251089326786712015-02-24T08:36:00.000-05:002015-04-21T10:08:20.593-04:00Netflix: A Family AffairAs most of you know, I am a HUGE fan of Netflix. They have saved my sanity on more than one occasion. (Can we say "Snow Days"?!) And I enjoy writing for them once a month as part of their "stream team" of bloggers because the posts seriously write themselves. (Who doesn't already LOVE Netflix?!) But lately I have been so busy with work and life that it has been harder and harder to carve out some writing time.<br />
<br />
So when they reached out to me this month and asked if I would be interested in letting my daughters write my post this month, I was ALL ears. You see, they have an original series called <i>Mako Mermaids</i> that my daughters LOVE. We already watch it.<br />
<br />
A LOT.<br />
<br />
And what better way to truly make Netflix a family affair, than to bring it full circle and let them do the talking for me this month.<br />
<br />
When I asked my oldest daughter (who is 12) how she felt about writing a review on the show and the youngest girls if they would draw the pictures to go with their older sister's review, they all were super hyped! (And the icing on the cake was Netflix sending them a pretty awesome "mermaid" kit in the mail as a thank-you for all their hard work!)<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9ifbEGz8C8k/VOdgl4UVbbI/AAAAAAAABP0/g93dZBBAPJ4/s1600/10991301_405837776259313_2438239734003892936_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9ifbEGz8C8k/VOdgl4UVbbI/AAAAAAAABP0/g93dZBBAPJ4/s1600/10991301_405837776259313_2438239734003892936_n.jpg" height="275" width="190" /></a></div>
<br />
<----<i><span style="color: #0b5394;">What little girl wouldn't be excited about getting all THIS in the mail? Shoot! Can *I* write some stuff about your show next time? I want some Bath & Body Works and Eos! I like to paint MY nails! I want beach worthy hair in the middle of winter! And they won't even SHARE it with me. Huh.</span></i><br />
<br />
The kids worked very hard to let you know why <i>Mako Mermaids</i> is a great show that YOUR tweenage girls would enjoy too.<br />
<br />
So without further ado, I give you my tween, Jess, with her debut on my blog.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">Why I Love Mako Mermaids and You Should Too</span></b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
by Jessica, age 12<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ijjRtdAOmEw/VOdnQ_4v6MI/AAAAAAAABQM/wMWy-o2Ebyo/s1600/mako%2Bmermaids%2Bpost.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ijjRtdAOmEw/VOdnQ_4v6MI/AAAAAAAABQM/wMWy-o2Ebyo/s1600/mako%2Bmermaids%2Bpost.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
The show <i>Mako Mermaids: H2O Adventures</i> is about these three mermaids who have been banned from the other mermaids because they turned a human into a mermaid. They are just learning how to walk with legs and get into a lot of trouble in the human world. When they get wet anywhere on their body, anywhere at all, their legs transform back into tails. Then they have to wait to dry off completely to turn back to humans. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I like this show because it is more realistic than other shows I have watched about mermaids. I don't think it is fair that mermaids have to choose between being a human or being a mermaid when they could be both! I also like this show because you don't have to watch ALL the episodes for it to make sense. When I first watched it, I was at my friend's house and we watched an episode that was in the middle of Season 1 because that was where she was in the series. We really loved it! We loved it so much, that when we got home, we tied our feet together and tried to walk around like mermaids. It was so funny!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
My FAVORITE episode is the season finale of season 1. In this episode, the human friend of a merman tries to become a merman. He steals a trident and uses it in a fight against the mermaids so that he can fall into the moon pool and become a merman. (If you fall into the moon pool during a full moon, you will be transformed.) </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I am pretty excited about Season 2 being out now so I can continue watching this great show. If you love mystical creatures, mermaids, fantasy, suspense, or action shows, you should watch <i>Mako Mermaids</i>! It will leave you wanting to watch more.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What shows do YOUR kids love? Leave me a comment!</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></b></div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-t0b904_6Qfo/VOdof8MpxqI/AAAAAAAABQY/5MCQKkG60ro/s1600/brennans%2Bmermaids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-t0b904_6Qfo/VOdof8MpxqI/AAAAAAAABQY/5MCQKkG60ro/s1600/brennans%2Bmermaids.jpg" height="310" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.netflix.com/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q0mZkMbvxmg/VG9687EwvUI/AAAAAAAAA-E/fMoc9JlkaUk/s1600/Netflix_Logo_Print_FourColorCMYK.png" height="107" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="line-height: 27.08px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I receive complimentary Netflix service in return for my endorsement, but all opinions and referrals are 100% my own opinion.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; margin: 0px;">
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Be sure to tune in to Mako Mermaids Season 2 available now on Netflix!</b></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.netflix.com/WiMovie/70281343?trkid=13752289" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-o77dNxvCTqw/VPZGdXEetyI/AAAAAAAABR0/LFK2adHw-PU/s1600/Mako_S2_KeyArt-Vertical_Gold.jpg" height="320" width="216" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></span></div>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<b><span style="color: red;">HELP ME BECOME THE BEST BLOGGER IN THE WHOLE WORLD!</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay, that was a tad bit exaggerated. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But clicking the banner below DOES give me a vote. And votes make me happy.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So help a sistah out, would ya?</span></div>
</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 27.08px; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>Please take a minute and rate my blog while you are there.</b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>You can find me in the humor section.</b></i></span></div>
</div>
<br /></div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-20171525931756535912015-02-20T07:00:00.000-05:002015-03-31T22:44:08.346-04:00Compassion. Pass it on.The recent trend of mom-bashing and internet bullying really gets on my nerves. It seems like every single day, as I am scrolling through my morning bulletin (Read: Facebook newsfeed), I see at least one instance of a mom calling another mom out about her choices.<br />
<br />
And it doesn't stop there.<br />
<br />
If you are <strike>dumb</strike> brave enough to click on the comments on that post, the bashing usually gets worse. Women ganging up together to completely word lash another woman, a fellow mom. Blast after blast, some mothers force their opinions on other mothers to the point of outright bullying.<br />
<br />
But when does it STOP?<br />
<br />
The answer to that question is simple: It stops when WE MAKE IT STOP. When we band together and realize that we are all just mothers. Mothers who are trying to make the best choice for our families. Mothers who are human and who make mistakes. Mothers with different backgrounds and upbringings, different income levels and different support systems. Mothers with different education, perspectives, and opinions. Not wrong, not right, just different.<br />
<br />
When we realize that different isn't wrong, then, and only then, can we stop this horrible trend. Mothers judge themselves more harshly than anyone else ever could and what they are truly desperate for is compassion and understanding. If you can’t offer that, then ask yourself "What does it matter to you?" instead of lashing out.<br />
<br />
If I want to give my baby a bottle of formula or if I want to breastfeed my child until she is five years old...<br />
<br />
What does it matter to you?<br />
<br />
If I choose to work because I need to get away from my family for a couple hours each day or because we need the extra income, or if I choose to stay home because I can't get enough of my children's sweet cherub faces and no one can raise them like I can and the monetary sacrifice is worth it to me...<br />
<br />
What does it matter to you?<br />
<br />
If I want to dress to the nines and wear makeup every single day or if I want to wear yoga pants all day, every day or even no pants at all...<br />
<br />
What does it matter to you?<br />
<br />
If I home-school my children to provide them with the best learning environment possible or if I choose to send my kids to public school in the heart of the ghetto to teach them diversity...<br />
<br />
What does it matter to you?<br />
<br />
If <a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/2014/10/cows-are-for-milking-not-mommies.html">I put my kid in the shower with me</a> to shave a couple minutes off of our morning routine or have a closed and locked bathroom door policy...<br />
<br />
What does it matter to you?<br />
<br />
The truth? It doesn't. None of your choices as a mother affect me. None of my choices as a mother affect you. Whatever choices I make, I make with my family's best interest at heart. I bet that mother who chooses the opposite of me does so with her family's best interest at heart as well.<br />
<br />
Let's choose to be supportive when another mother puts herself out there for ridicule by posting a picture or defends a personal choice with her words. Even if we don't agree with it. It works for her.<br />
<br />
Let's choose to be understanding of a different point of view. Just because we do not agree does not mean that we need to be harsh and condescending to someone who does. Let's agree to disagree.<br />
<br />
Let's choose to love each other, faults and all. After all, we ALL make mistakes. And hate only begets hate.<br />
<br />
Let's choose to embrace each other as mothers, as women, who are all battling the same fight to raise a family the best way we know how and not lose ourselves in the delicate balance between motherhood and womanhood.<br />
<br />
Let's choose our words wisely and carefully when we see something come across our screens that is opposite of what we personally believe. A kind word goes so much further than a harshly spoken one.<br />
<br />
Let's choose compassion, because it really is a choice.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1000speak.wordpress.com/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8Gp5KVe5z9M/VOOQ5TVaYpI/AAAAAAAABPk/lGir1qks11s/s1600/1000%2Bspeak%2Bfor%2Bcompassion.jpg" height="283" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>This piece was written as part of a world-wide compassion movement. </i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Find more great voices speaking compassion by clicking on the picture above </i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>and by searching both Facebook and Twitter for the hashtag #1000Speak. </i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Join the Facebook Group <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/306227992909657/">1000 Voices for Compassion</a> for more information.</i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Photo credit goes to the very talented <a href="http://theqwietmuse.com/">Qwiet Muse</a>.</i></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br />
</i></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: red;">HELP ME BECOME THE BEST BLOGGER IN THE WHOLE WORLD!</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay, that was a tad bit exaggerated. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But clicking the banner below DOES give me a vote. And votes make me happy.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So help a sistah out, would ya?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 27.08px; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>Please take a minute and rate my blog while you are there.</b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>You can find me in the humor section.</b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b><br /></b></i></span>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Following my blog makes you cool. Trust me.</span></b></div>
<div id="mc_embed_signup" style="text-align: start;">
<form action="https://blogspot.us10.list-manage.com/subscribe/post?u=e4ec1b5020bb7d2ed6e2c6350&id=87bc99358c" class="validate" id="mc-embedded-subscribe-form" method="post" name="mc-embedded-subscribe-form" novalidate="" target="_blank">
<div id="mc_embed_signup_scroll">
<label for="mce-EMAIL"><b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">Sign up here to have posts delivered to your inbox:</span></b></label><br />
<input class="email" id="mce-EMAIL" name="EMAIL" placeholder="email address" required="" type="email" value="" /><br />
<br />
<div style="left: -5000px; position: absolute;">
<input name="b_e4ec1b5020bb7d2ed6e2c6350_87bc99358c" tabindex="-1" type="text" value="" /></div>
<div class="clear">
<input class="button" id="mc-embedded-subscribe" name="subscribe" type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</form>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-53217319689402326412015-02-17T08:56:00.000-05:002015-03-31T17:59:12.435-04:00Brennan's Reviews: Hibachi Grill Buffet<h3>
<span style="color: #e06666;">A Restaurant Review as seen through the eyes of a 5 year old, written by her mother (Because she can't really write yet.)</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="color: #e06666;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RSXUfXGecl0/VOD1pgA-mWI/AAAAAAAABN8/OXvoqVUMRl4/s1600/Chinese%2BBuffet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RSXUfXGecl0/VOD1pgA-mWI/AAAAAAAABN8/OXvoqVUMRl4/s1600/Chinese%2BBuffet.jpg" height="238" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #e06666;"><br />
</span></div>
<div>
When my mom asks me where I want to eat, I ALWAYS choose the Chinese buffet.<br />
<br />
She doesn't ask me very much. I don't really know why she doesn't cuz I know a LOT of things.<br />
<br />
Like how to speak Chinese.<br />
<br />
I like to practice it on the people who work at the buffet. Hola! That means "hello" in Chinese! I bet you didn't even know that! The girl who came to our table to bring us our drinks was VERY impressed.<br />
<br />
My mom...not so much.<br />
<br />
I guess she doesn't speak Chinese.<br />
<br />
I like this place cuz I don't have to wait for my food to come to me. I don't like waiting. My mom says I have to have "patience" but I don't really like to go to the doctor's.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Tz4WVA91Cg8/VOFpDcu3MDI/AAAAAAAABOM/TLfQs-6xKWY/s1600/I%2Bcan%2Bget%2Bmy%2BOWN%2Bfood.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Tz4WVA91Cg8/VOFpDcu3MDI/AAAAAAAABOM/TLfQs-6xKWY/s1600/I%2Bcan%2Bget%2Bmy%2BOWN%2Bfood.jpg" height="320" width="238" /></a></div>
What I DO like to do is eat. And this place lets me get my own food that I pick myself. Sometimes my mom doesn't like me to get my own food. She thinks I am still a BABY who needs help.<br />
<br />
Guess what! I'm not. I am very big. And I can use those pinchy things and get my OWN noodles. That's my favorite thing to eat here. Those long white noodles with EGGS in them. My mom doesn't NEVER make noodles with eggs in them.<br />
<br />
It's probably cuz she's not Chinese.<br />
<br />
I don't really like how there is carrots in there though. I think that there is sneaky business. Like how my mom tries to do at home with my dinner plate. But I am too smart for all that. So I am REAL careful to pick them ALL out.<br />
<br />
I also don't eat the broccoli that comes in the chicken I like. <a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/2014/07/well-thats-just-poops.html">I don't eat green things.</a><br />
<br />
Ever.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NQ-sg007JJY/VOFqY_Pu2UI/AAAAAAAABOY/DTsq3XzOAE4/s1600/I%2Bcant%2Bwait%2Bto%2Bsit%2Bdown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NQ-sg007JJY/VOFqY_Pu2UI/AAAAAAAABOY/DTsq3XzOAE4/s1600/I%2Bcant%2Bwait%2Bto%2Bsit%2Bdown.jpg" height="200" width="148" /></a></div>
Other than that, the food at this place is really good. It's so good that sometimes I need to just sneak a taste before I even get back to my chair!<br />
<br />
My mom doesn't like when I do that.<br />
<br />
She likes to ruin all my fun. "Use your silverware" she says. "Wait until we get to the table" she says. What kind of fun is THAT?<br />
<br />
Not any fun. That's what.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zfgYWd6xHCY/VOKj7muUBaI/AAAAAAAABO0/HA1wS8spX9U/s1600/chopsticks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zfgYWd6xHCY/VOKj7muUBaI/AAAAAAAABO0/HA1wS8spX9U/s1600/chopsticks.jpg" height="200" width="148" /></a></div>
But do you want to know what IS fun? Two words. Chop. Sticks. Did you know that Chinese people use them and not a fork? Well, since I know Chinese words, I need to know Chinese forks too.<br />
<br />
And I like to practice using them sticks to eat my noodles. And sometimes jello too. But that is kind of hard cuz that stuff is slip-pry! I would use them to eat my ice cream too, but my mom says N-O in her mean voice when I do that. She makes me use a stupid ole SPOON. Boring!<br />
<br />
But it's okay, cuz I REALLY like ice cream.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OGK5acb-b4o/VOKkHShxR4I/AAAAAAAABO8/t0R8bE8bC4g/s1600/ice%2Bcream%2Byum.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OGK5acb-b4o/VOKkHShxR4I/AAAAAAAABO8/t0R8bE8bC4g/s1600/ice%2Bcream%2Byum.jpg" height="132" width="400" /></a></div>
My mom always says I gotta eat my moneys worth when I go to the buffet.<br />
<br />
I think my mom is silly cuz we aren't 'sposed to eat money! But I DO eat a lot of food here.<br />
<br />
My mom says that is good cuz this place is EX-PEN-SIVE. My dad said we were gonna have to do LOTS of chores to work off this bill. I think he was just being silly though. He knows I don't like stupid chores.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2fGyJexZBnk/VOKmP_XZlPI/AAAAAAAABPI/vuG7_mM0oj4/s1600/my%2Bfortune.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2fGyJexZBnk/VOKmP_XZlPI/AAAAAAAABPI/vuG7_mM0oj4/s1600/my%2Bfortune.jpg" height="320" width="238" /></a></div>
There are LOTS of things that I like at this place! But want to know what I like the mostest? Fortune cookies!<br />
<br />
When you are good and eat all your food, they bring you a cookie that has a message inside! I always make my mom read me mine.<br />
<br />
This time my mom said that my message was REAL true. It said something about people liking me to come to their parties.<br />
<br />
It's probably because I always pick good presents.<br />
<br />
When we are all finished with our food, my mom always makes me tell her how many fingers I think the restaurant gets. She says 1 finger is bad and 5 fingers is I want to eat here my whole life every day.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0TMAJJ-LXFc/VOKoF5ho7oI/AAAAAAAABPU/5mXEglFXnQ0/s1600/my%2Bchinese%2Bbuffet%2Brating.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0TMAJJ-LXFc/VOKoF5ho7oI/AAAAAAAABPU/5mXEglFXnQ0/s1600/my%2Bchinese%2Bbuffet%2Brating.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
This time I was tricky to her!<br />
<br />
I said this restaurant gets 10 fingers. 10 super-clean-fingers. And I know they are super clean cuz I washed them in the bathroom. Even though there wasn't a stool to stand on.<br />
<br />
I think that is kinda dumb.<br />
<br />
But I still like this place. And you probably will too.<br />
<i style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></i>
<i style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></i>
<i style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></i>
<i style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #999999;">All opinions in these restaurant reviews are my own and given for free cuz I like to </span></i><i style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #999999;">talk and tell stories. </span></i><i style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #999999;">Nobody gives me any free food or moneys to tell about my 'ventures. </span></i><i style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #999999;">(But if they wanted to, my ears would be listening for sure.)</span></i><br />
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Did you like my review? Did you know there are more of these suckers?! </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">What can I say? I like to eat! You should probably read them too...</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/2014/08/brennans-reviews-cracker-barrel.html">The Cracker Barrel Restaurant</a></span><br />
<a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/2014/09/brennans-reviews-steak-and-shake.html">Steak 'n Shake Restaurant</a><br />
<a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/2015/03/brennans-reviews-fazolis-restaurant.html">Fazoli's Restaurant</a><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I also wrote about a cool movie that I love to watch. You can read that here:</span></b><br />
<a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/2014/11/brennan-reviews-prima-princessa.html">Prima Princessa presents The Nutcracker</a><br />
___________________________________________________________________<br />
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<b><span style="color: red;">HELP ME BECOME THE BEST BLOGGER IN THE WHOLE WORLD!</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay, that was a tad bit exaggerated. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But clicking the banner below DOES give me a vote. And votes make me happy.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So help a sistah out, would ya?</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 27.08px; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>Please take a minute and rate my blog while you are there.</b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>You can find me in the humor section.</b></i></span></div>
</div>
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-17878905989630923912015-02-14T08:45:00.000-05:002015-03-23T22:28:06.974-04:00Lunch Date Adventures<a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/2014/05/ummmmshes-my-best-friend-so-go-get-your.html">I love my best friend</a>.<br />
<br />
There is NOTHING I would rather do than <a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/2014/07/well-thats-just-poops.html">spend some quality time with her without the kiddos </a>interrupting every five minutes. And because every time we hang out she always makes me laugh until I can't breathe, I wanted to share a glimpse into our hilarious relationship by telling you about our lunch date today.<br />
<br />
I don't know about you, but we have an open door policy written into our friendship. You know, the kind where you don't knock, you just walk in and make yourself at home. Mi fridge es su fridge. Is there coffee in the coffee pot? Good. I am going to pour myself a cup while I raid your cupboards in search of your chocolate stash. Then I am going to stink up your bathroom. With the door open. THAT kind of friendship. Ya get me?<br />
<br />
Another thing you need to know about my best friend, Amy, is that she is not always a "ready when you get there" kind of girl. Even when I specifically say, "I will be there at 12:00 SO BE READY TO WALK OUT THE DOOR," she is usually <i>just</i> getting into the shower as I walk in. And today was no exception.<br />
<br />
I arrived at 12:15. I knocked as I was walking in, shouting "Heeeelllloooooo" like I always do. No answer. Okay. No biggie. (I told you that she is always running behind) I could hear the shower running and her and her husband talking and it sounded like the bathroom door was open, so I slowly ventured toward that end of the house yelling "Hey! I'm here!" Still no response. I was pretty much terrified to get any closer because 1. Yer girl does NOT want to walk in on the "business" and 2. What if her husband comes busting around the corner el nude-o? So, I slowly backtracked into the kitchen, took off my boots, and waited patiently (Read: snooped through the stuff on the counter, checked out the fridge stats, read the notes on the white board)<br />
<br />
After about 5 minutes, Amy comes busting out of the bathroom butt naked and around the corner into the kitchen, sees me and shouts to her husband, "Traci's here! Don't come out here naked!" So instead, he comes out wearing....Amy's pink robe.<br />
<br />
Now I don't know about you, but seeing your best friend's husband in HER little tiny pink robe, set me off in a fit of giggles which were only amplified when he started sashaying across the kitchen, waggling his hips, and batting his eyelashes. I figured the ONLY thing I could do at THAT point is join in on the crazy, right? So I start giving him advice on how to be more feminine. Sway your hips. Flick your wrist a little more. Clench your butt cheeks tighter. "Oh honey! That's EXACTLY what Bruce told me earlier! But I told him NO on account of the hemorrhoids."<br />
<br />
By this point I was ALREADY on the verge of panty tinkling. And the fun was just beginning.<br />
<br />
After a <strike>long </strike>wait, during which I was completely entertained by her husband's pink robe antics, she was ready, and we were off to enjoy a great lunch and some much needed talk time.<br />
<br />
Our lunch was delish. We ordered two meals and then split them, so we were basically gorging ourselves to the point where only a good poop would make us feel comfortable enough to move. And we talked about tantalizing topics like the LAST time we had come to that restaurant and Amy had asked for EXTRA blue cheese and bacon so crispy that it was bordering on burnt on her well-done burger, only to be madly disappointed upon the food coming out still moo-ing and covered in limp chewy bacon. And how I, being the great friend that I am, had completely thrown her under the bus when our poor server innocently came by to hear how wonderful our food was and I laughed and pointed at Amy and said, "My food is GREAT, but you should ask HER..." all while stuffing our faces in true hungry girl style and laughing like crazy women.<br />
<br />
Speaking of laughing, there is nothing more soul cleansing than a good laugh with your best friend. And what came next, well, it cleansed my soul from here to next year.<br />
<br />
When it was time to pay our cute little waitress, who was 23, and YES I do know this because Amy asked, came by with the check and a cute little story about her lack of sleep due to her Thursday night partying. While she was busy telling us ALL about what a hard learner she was, Amy could only focus on one thing.<br />
<br />
The speck of mystery sauce glistening on the poor girls chest.<br />
<br />
So as our poor unsuspecting waitress babbled on, Amy reached out and PICKED it off. with. her. FINGERNAIL! The look on that poor girl's face was BEYOND priceless and I seriously lost all self control and burst out in a laugh that bordered on hyena.<br />
<br />
"Sorry! You had a little something on there..." Amy quickly explained as the waitress looked on in pure disbelief.<br />
<br />
"It-it-it's okay!" the waitress stuttered, "I am glad you got it..."<br />
<br />
By this point, I am practically choking on my own spit from pure insane laughter. And Amy is still chatting away at the poor girl, "Yea, I knew it wasn't one of your cute little moles because it was catching the light..."<br />
<br />
Oh. My. Goodness. If every person in the restaurant wasn't staring at me by this point, I would have been totally surprised.<br />
<br />
Then Amy looks at me and says, "What? It was RIGHT there! I wouldn't have wanted her to walk around with that all day long! And I was GOING to use my napkin, but then I saw how used it was and thought 'dirty!', so I just used my finger! "<br />
<br />
By the time the waitress made her escape, my laughter had turned into a red-faced, crying, can't catch my breath debacle as I squeezed out these words, "You. Could. Have. Just. TOLD. Her! Maybe added a little finger point to the spot..."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-c8ysdBji_sU/VN6_1mcbJ6I/AAAAAAAABNs/k-Y7Ys1_054/s1600/Lunch%2BDate%2BAdventures.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-c8ysdBji_sU/VN6_1mcbJ6I/AAAAAAAABNs/k-Y7Ys1_054/s1600/Lunch%2BDate%2BAdventures.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
"Oh my! I didn't even THINK of that!" she said as she joined in my laughter. "How much tip should I leave?" she asked.<br />
<br />
"Enough to cover your physical assault of her CHEST!" I retorted.<br />
<br />
"Yea... I better leave a little extra!"<br />
<br />
And when we calmed down enough to actually look at the bill, we realized that our lunch entree was called the "willy wrap" which started our rollicking all over again.<br />
<br />
I am sure they were ALL happy to see us leave. Especially our poor assaulted waitress with the cute moles. Thank goodness it wasn't just a freckle.<br />
<br />
THAT would have been awkward.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="color: #333333; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27.08px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="color: black; font-size: medium; line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<b><span style="color: red;">HELP ME BECOME THE BEST BLOGGER IN THE WHOLE WORLD!</span></b></div>
<div style="color: black; font-size: medium; line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay, that was a tad bit exaggerated. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But clicking the banner below DOES give me a vote. And votes make me happy.</span></div>
<div style="color: black; font-size: medium; line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So help a sistah out, would ya?</span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" width="575" /></a></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 27.08px; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>Please take a minute and rate my blog while you are there.</b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>You can find me in the humor section.</b></i></span></div>
</div>
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-76322766694598123142015-02-01T10:26:00.000-05:002015-06-02T19:57:26.084-04:0010 Ninja Ways to Enforce Teen Phone Time: A guest post by Dr. Psych Mom<img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-p9iAc-UrhGg/VMv2vLTMOqI/AAAAAAAABM8/oCJiCsmWxzs/s1600/pizap.com14226521511241.jpg" style="display: none;" /><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Follow the amazing <a href="http://lifeofadramaqueensmomma.blogspot.com/2014/10/today-i-have-real-treat-for-you-my.html">Dr. Psych Mom here!</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 16.86px;">_________________________</span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><b>10 Ninja ways to enforce teen phone time</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">by Samantha Rodman of Dr. Psych Mom</span></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-p9iAc-UrhGg/VMv2vLTMOqI/AAAAAAAABM8/oCJiCsmWxzs/s1600/pizap.com14226521511241.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-p9iAc-UrhGg/VMv2vLTMOqI/AAAAAAAABM8/oCJiCsmWxzs/s1600/pizap.com14226521511241.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I recently read an article on enforcing phone time limits. It discussed “no cell phone zones at home,” “changing your wifi password after 10 at night” and other suggestions to get your teenager off their phone. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Come on, people. Woman up. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Do you want to win this battle or do you want to be some chump who has to change her wifi password every night, desperately hoping that your kid is too dumb to steal wifi from the family next door? Mama ain’t got time for that! (And that family is already mad at you for never mowing your lawn, also your kid’s fault.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, here are some ninja ways to get your teenager off the phone, if you really want to, and I’m not sure why you do, because when a kid is on his phone, he can’t be, for example, running a drug cartel. Well, actually, I bet that is done on phones nowadays. Moving on. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Here are some foolproof strategies to get your kid off the phone and possibly traumatize him for life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">1. Bribe your son with other, cooler things. “Listen, if you get off that phone, Daddy will take you to an MMA tournament.” What’s that you say? You’re anti-violence too? You sound like a barrel of laughs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">2. Text your daughter that you found the marijuana in her room. Then when she races downstairs, sweetly say, “Just kidding. But if you don’t want me to look through your whole room right now, get off the phone.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">3. Take selfies of you making sexy faces. If your son doesn’t get off his phone, swear that you will text these pictures to all of his friends. Make sure that you are wearing a belly shirt. That one you met his father in, in 1993. And boot-cut jeans and a black velvet choker to complete the ensemble. Hottt, as they say (possibly?).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">4. Text your daughter romantic messages “accidentally” that are meant for Dad. She will be so disgusted that she will be hesitant to even touch her phone for at least a few hours. Make sure to use pet names like “Cobra” and indecipherable emojis that your child will automatically assume mean something really gross.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">5. Sneak into your child’s room at night and steal his phone. If he wants it back he has to mow the lawn. And cook you dinner. And do the laundry, even the hand washing, which includes his sister’s dance leotard. And your Zumba gear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">6. Make a deal that for every minute your daughter is on the phone, you get to ask her another personal, prying question about her relationship with that kid she’s been hanging out with a lot. Make sure to focus on whether he is really the type of guy she pictures herself with in the long term. Discuss his positive and negative qualities at length. Mention that he seems like your type too, and you would also have found him very attractive when you were her age. Her desire to text will be no match for this level of awkward self-disclosure and she will give up. #winning!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">7. Tell your son to stay right by his phone, because you’re having his great aunt call him to talk about what a lovely young man he’s becoming from all the nice photos she sees on Facebook. Strangely, he will leave it on the table and vanish.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">8. Text your daughter’s boyfriend that if he stops texting with her and helps her stay off her phone, you’ll invite him on the next family vacation and let your daughter and him stay in their own hotel room. But, joke’s on him, because you can’t afford to take a family vacation for at least the next five years!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">9. Take out your son’s phone battery and replace it with a folded Post-It note that gives him clues to where to find it. Humorously, it will be located underneath all the piles of clothes on his floor, which he will have to put away. Two birds with one stone. God you’re smart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">10. Change your daughter’s text message alert to <i>Cat’s in the Cradle</i> and tell her it’s to remind her that your time living together under the same roof is fleeting and it makes you just so sad. Sigh loudly and blink back tears. This guilt trip is guaranteed to be good for one phone-free hour, two if she is feeling magnanimous.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There you have it. If you end up having to change the WIFI password, at least make it something that can soothe your bruised ego and give you a false sense of control. Like “DOINGITCAUSEIWANTTO” or “NOTOUTOFOPTIONS.”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span> <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BGnskXAF91U/VMziemtnwWI/AAAAAAAABNM/tWPtBx1E-O0/s1600/headshot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BGnskXAF91U/VMziemtnwWI/AAAAAAAABNM/tWPtBx1E-O0/s1600/headshot.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div style="line-height: 14.25pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dr. Samantha Rodman is a clinical psychologist in private practice, where she works with individuals and couples. She is also a wife and a mom of three. She wows us with both her brain and wit over at </span><a href="http://www.drpsychmom.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dr. Psych Mom</span></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">, and would love you to join her on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/drpsychmom" target="_blank"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Facebook</span></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> and </span><a href="http://www.twitter.com/drpsychmom" target="_blank"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Twitter</span></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 14.25pt;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 14.25pt;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 14.25pt;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">*Title photo courtesy of Ambro at</span><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: x-small; line-height: 19px;"><a href="http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/">www.freedigitalphotos.net</a></span></span><br />
<div style="line-height: 14.25pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 27.08px; text-align: start;">
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<div style="color: #333333;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 16.86px;"><br />
</span></b></span></div>
<div style="font-size: medium; line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<b>If you love the stories you find on this blog, please take a minute and click this banner. Each "vote" improves my ranking and helps me be seen by more great wannabe fans! Thanks! <3</b></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #333333; line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
</div>
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px; text-align: start;">
<div>
</div>
</div>
<br />
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" style="cursor: move;" width="575" /></a></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 27.08px; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-19723050328731233842015-01-27T09:48:00.000-05:002015-03-23T22:31:02.743-04:00Chore Dodging 101<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Kids hate chores.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sole2MFT4BM/VMekwNQU2fI/AAAAAAAABL8/vy-lvMzSERQ/s1600/chore%2Bdodging%2B101.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sole2MFT4BM/VMekwNQU2fI/AAAAAAAABL8/vy-lvMzSERQ/s1600/chore%2Bdodging%2B101.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
Let's face it, it's a very rare breed of children that jump for joy when parents ask them to do something around the house. In fact, it is <i>such</i> a rare breed that I personally have <i>never</i> encountered one. I would even go as far to say that I would encounter good 'ole Nessie or Big Foot before I would encounter a child that cherished housework.<br />
<br />
My kids have pretty much perfected the art of chore circumvention. If there is a way to skip out, they have tried it. In fact, I think I have seen so many evasive tactics that I could write a chore-war manual.<br />
<br />
Thankfully, almost all of their diversions fall into one of these categories (of which I am immune):<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">The Recovering Amnesiac:</span></b> </span><span style="color: #3d85c6;">This child sees your chore and raises you a five-inch thick homework packet.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Mom: Could you please help me do these dishes?</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br />
</i></span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Recovering Amnesiac: Oh, I JUST remembered, I have a paper due TOMORROW mom! And I haven't even STARTED it. I think it's going to take me ALL night.</i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span> <b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">The Whiner:</span> </b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Better grab your earplugs before asking this child to do ANYTHING. Two words in and they are already crying.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="line-height: 20px;">Dad: You have to fold this laundry up today. Its your chore.</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="color: #666666; line-height: 20px;">Whiner: All of it?? That's too much! I CAN'T do ALL of it! </span></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #141823; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large; line-height: 20px;"><b>The Pooper:</b></span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px;"> </span><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px;">This child has more regular bowel movements than a geriatric on a strict diet of prunes and bran. One word of anything "work" related and this child hits the toilet. For a good half hour. Or until you beat down the door.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"><i>Mom: Hey, can I get you to help me...</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"><i>Pooper: Hold up, mom. I gotta go to the bathroom first. I've been holding it all day...</i></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span> <span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; line-height: 20px;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">The Illusionist:</span> </b></span><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px;">This child gives you false hope. They willingly accept the mission and head off in good spirits, but half an hour later you realize they are upstairs reading a book or playing.</span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>Dad: Today is the day you are going to clean your room.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 20px;"><i><br />
</i></span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>Illusionist: Alright, dad! Let me grab a garbage bag and get to work! (Secretly grabs book off counter)</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 20px;"><i><br />
</i></span> <span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 20px;"><i><br />
</i></span> <span style="line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><b>The Fit-Thrower:</b></span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">If you thought the whiner was bad, this child puts her to shame. If Hollywood had a hidden camera in your kitchen, you would find yourself the center of the next Honey Boo-Boo show with the dramatics this child pulls off.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span></span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"><i>Mom: Please unload the dishwasher.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">Fit-Thrower: </span></span><span style="line-height: 20px;"><i>Whaaaaat? Now I can't even play outside? I just want to go play outside. (Throws self on kitchen floor) Why do you ALWAYS make me do all. this. work?! My life is oooooover! Nobody even understands me. </i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #141823; line-height: 20px;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #141823; line-height: 20px;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> <span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; line-height: 20px;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">The Flatterer:</span> </b></span><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px;">This child takes the dramatics to the OTHER extreme. They have mastered the art of the compliment. In other words, they know how to butter you up good.</span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>Mom: I need you to pick up the bathroom.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 20px;"><i><br />
</i></span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>Flatterer: Okay mom. You sure look pretty today. Did you do something different with your hair?</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 20px;"><i><br />
</i></span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>Mom: Well, actually I DID pull out the curling iron today...</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 20px;"><i><br />
</i></span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>Flatterer: It looks good! You should do that EVERY day mom! Do you think you could come in the bathroom and teach ME how to do that to MY hair?</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 20px;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 20px;"><i>Mom: (excited to be INVITED to spend time with her tween) Sure! </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #141823; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #141823; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span></span> <span style="line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><b>The Side-Tracker:</b></span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: inherit;">This child has good intentions. They WANT to please you, but Oooh! Squirrel!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #141823; line-height: 20px;"><br />
</span></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #666666; line-height: 20px;"><i>Dad: Go take care of your stuff on the table.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #666666; line-height: 20px;"><i><br />
</i></span></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #666666; line-height: 20px;"><i>Side-Tracker: (grabs stuff) Okay dad! (sees cupboard) Hmmm. I am kind of hungry. I didn't eat much lunch today... (puts stuff down on counter and makes snack)</i></span></span><br />
<br />
My kids have tried it all. And I can't say that I really blame them.<br />
<br />
If I had a choice, I would probably try to weasel my way out too.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Title photo courtesy of antpkr via <a href="http://freedigitalphotos.net/">freedigitalphotos.net</a></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What type of chore dodger lives in YOUR house?</span></b><br />
__________________________________________________________________<br />
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<b><span style="color: red;">HELP ME BECOME THE BEST BLOGGER IN THE WHOLE WORLD!</span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay, that was a tad bit exaggerated. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But clicking the banner below DOES give me a vote. And votes make me happy.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So help a sistah out, would ya?</span></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27.08px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Vote for me @ Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images//banners/tmb-468x60-fast.gif" height="59" width="468" /></a></div>
</div>
<div style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 27.08px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>Be sure to leave a comment while you are over there! </b></i></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>I am listed in the "Humor" section.</b></i></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px; text-align: start;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 27.08px; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Follow me on Facebook</span></b></i></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/dramaqueenmomma" target="_blank">A Day in the Life of a Drama Queen's Momma</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b><span style="color: black;">Follow me on Twitter</span></b></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/momma_dramas" target="_blank">@Momma_Dramas</a></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-58518682447107800922015-01-20T10:46:00.000-05:002015-04-21T10:09:18.181-04:00A Girl and Her Dreams<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Io4uooWQitk/VL54VHeg7TI/AAAAAAAABJQ/ArtKF3FCIRA/s1600/10253896_278042672372158_1045973237769962641_n.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Io4uooWQitk/VL54VHeg7TI/AAAAAAAABJQ/ArtKF3FCIRA/s1600/10253896_278042672372158_1045973237769962641_n.png" height="320" width="274" /></a></div>
<br />
My nine year old daughter LOVES animals.<br />
<br />
She has labeled herself "Dog Trainer of the Year" despite the fact that we don't even own a dog. If <i>you</i> have a dog, WATCH OUT! She will <i>insist</i> on "training" it. To a point where when your dog sees her, it will run and hide, and no amount of treats will coax it back out.<br />
<br />
She wants to be a vegetarian because it is mean to eat animals. Except for bacon. She doesn't want to stop eating bacon. (But who in their right mind does?!) And she doesn't really like any vegetables. But that isn't a pre-requisite. Right?<br />
<br />
She once played hooky from school so that she could stay home and watch an all-day marathon of "Pitbulls and Parolees." No, I was NOT aware that was the reason beforehand. But she did end up admitting it later that night when the other kids were doing something fun and she couldn't because she was "sick". Tough lesson.<br />
<br />
She wants to be either a veterinarian or a zoologist when she grows up. Or maybe both. For as long as I can remember asking her, her answer has never changed.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately for this sweet girl, she has two things working against her.<br />
<br />
First, we live in an apartment. One that doesn't allow pets. Not even in a cage.<br />
<br />
Second, she is allergic to almost all animals that could be considered "pet" material, including: dogs, cats, horses, and rabbits. She was formally tested for allergies a couple years ago when she was having trouble with chronic ear infections and those were her results.<br />
<br />
Devastating news to a little girl with big aspirations to be a vet... or so you would think.<br />
<br />
But NOT this girl. In fact, she told the allergy doctor that she was going to be a veterinarian when she grows up and he, of course, trying to let her down gently, informed her " that probably wouldn't be a very good idea due to her allergies." She took one look at him and put him right back into his place. She <i>would</i> be a vet. And that was that. He chuckled and told her that she would keep him in business that way. I chuckled because I knew that she meant it.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I know that one day she probably <i>will</i> work with animals. She is my dreamer. And my do-er. But for now, she is stuck living out her animal fantasies by training your<i> </i>dog and by watching animal shows and movies on Netflix. So far we have watched <i>Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3</i>, <i>101 Dalmatians</i> (the live one), and all the "Buddies" movies a thousand times a piece. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Thank goodness Netflix just released a brand new series called <i>The Adventures of Puss in Boots</i> (my personal favorite character from the Shrek movies!) so that we can switch it up a little bit. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Hey, a mom can only watch a movie so many times, no matter <i>how</i> good it is!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.netflix.com/WiPlayer?movieid=80018988&trkid=13752289&tctx=0,0,adventures%20of%20pu:a4fc3840-c186-4666-a747-3b4680ab775d" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JSPIlgy9gYE/VLxo33YwBsI/AAAAAAAABJA/ZgXtv4-RVUM/s1600/Puss%2Bin%2BBoots.jpg" height="320" width="228" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.netflix.com/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q0mZkMbvxmg/VG9687EwvUI/AAAAAAAAA-E/fMoc9JlkaUk/s1600/Netflix_Logo_Print_FourColorCMYK.png" height="107" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="line-height: 27.08px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I receive complimentary Netflix service in return for my endorsement, but all opinions and referrals are 100% my own opinion.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="color: black; line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<b><span style="color: red;">HELP ME BECOME THE BEST BLOGGER IN THE WHOLE WORLD!</span></b></div>
<div style="color: black; line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay, that was a tad bit exaggerated. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But clicking the banner below DOES give me a vote. And votes make me happy.</span></div>
<div style="color: black; line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So help a sistah out, would ya?</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27.08px; text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Vote for me @ Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images//banners/tmb-468x60-fast.gif" height="59" style="cursor: move;" width="468" /></a></div>
</div>
<div style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 27.08px; text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>Be sure to leave a comment while you are over there! </b></i></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b>I am listed in the "Humor" section.</b></i></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div>
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 27.08px; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Follow me on Facebook</span></b></i></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/dramaqueenmomma" target="_blank">A Day in the Life of a Drama Queen's Momma</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b><span style="color: black;">Follow me on Twitter</span></b></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><b><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/momma_dramas" target="_blank">@Momma_Dramas</a></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806462872728805921.post-69805520872921474542015-01-16T08:39:00.000-05:002015-06-02T19:58:14.793-04:00What Wakes me From Sleep? It’s Not What You’d Expect. A Guest Post by Sarah del Rio<img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-W9TKeYbN-Ko/VLiIjzR2VqI/AAAAAAAABIk/RZ29FeWTx0U/s1600/ID-100144021.jpg" style="display: none;" /><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;">If you don't yet....be sure to follow the hilarious </span><a href="http://established1975.com/" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Est.1975</a>!</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 16.86px;">____________________________________________________</span></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><b>What Wakes me From Sleep? It's Not What You'd Expect.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">by Sarah del Rio of Est.1975</span></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-W9TKeYbN-Ko/VLiIjzR2VqI/AAAAAAAABIk/RZ29FeWTx0U/s1600/ID-100144021.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-W9TKeYbN-Ko/VLiIjzR2VqI/AAAAAAAABIk/RZ29FeWTx0U/s1600/ID-100144021.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
On most mornings, my husband tries to wake up before dawn. It almost never actually happens, but what *does* happen is that his phone’s alarms go off at 3 AM, 4 AM, 5 AM, and 6 AM. With plenty of snoozes in between. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I sleep through all of it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
My son used to get chronic bloody noses. We eventually had his nasal passages cauterized, but before that, there was a good long year of him waking up in the wee hours of the night, screaming, crying, with blood gushing out of his adorable face. He would call for us, frightened out of his little mind: “Papa! Mama!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I would sleep through all of it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Loud things happen at our house all the time, and a lot of them happen after lights-out. The cat will spend a half hour hacking up an enormous hairball. Our ancient furnace will shudder, thunk, and sometimes shut down altogether with a god-awful CLANK. A thunderstorm will rant and rage, causing the garbage can to blow over, hit the ground with a thud, and roll down the sidewalk. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I’ll let you guess whether I sleep through all of it. (I do.) <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
And just in case you’re wondering, I really am ASLEEP. Not “oh, the baby is crying, pretend you don’t hear it” asleep but “ZzzzzzzzzsdfjsdhSNRKzzzzzz” asleep. My deep sleep is the deep sleep of the gods. It takes me a long time to get there, but once I’m out, I’m OUT. Nothing can wake me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Except for one thing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
But before I tell you what it is, let me back up for a second and give you a little bit of context.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
My son, who is seven years old and an only child, complains a lot about being “cold and scared and lonely” in his bedroom at night. He makes these claims despite the following facts:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">We let him sleep with the bedroom door wide open;</span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">We keep the hallway light on, even though it is brighter than a thousand suns;</span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">His bedroom is less than two feet away from our bedroom;</span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">We keep the thermostat at 72 degrees;</span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">He has over one hundred thousand million blankets and stuffed animals to keep him warm; and</span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">We have provided him with (among other things): a night light, a radio, and a white noise machine.</span></li>
</ol>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-align: left; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Oh, and the cat likes to sleep with him. At the foot of his bed. A toasty and warm companion if ever there was one. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Cold and scared and lonely, my ass.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
So. Because of my son’s totally “reasonable” and “legitimate” concern about freezing to death in his sleep, alone and petrified and unloved, his bedtime now heralds a nightly dramatic production of <i>Why Can’t I Sleep In Your Bed With You? A Play in Three Hundred Acts.</i> It usually starts at about 7 PM and wraps up around 9:30 PM, with many glasses of water, trips to the bathroom, goodnight kisses and hugs, and random complaints involved in between. He falls asleep eventually, of course.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
For a little while.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
But then, anywhere between 4 AM and 6 AM, my dear son will awake from slumber to “use the toilet.” And of course by “use the toilet,” I mean “stumble sleep-drunk into <i>our</i> bathroom for a pee, then forget to flush the john or wash his hands, then climb over us into <i>our</i> bed, while we’re dead asleep and too out of it to fight him off.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
At which point he crams himself between us and falls instantly asleep, with his head turned towards me and his mouth WIDE. OPEN. And that’s when it happens.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I wake up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
If you’ve never smelled the breath of a 7-year-old mouth-breather in the middle of the night, then you should consider yourself one lucky son of a B. Seriously. I mean it. Little-kid morning breath is a gnarly combination of odors that’s so awful it’s almost beyond description. There’s a fungal and tangy element, like overpowering foot stench, yet it’s also somehow rotten and disturbingly sweet, like a decomposing corpse in the bayou. If I were forced to define it in three words, I would use the words “overwhelming,” “putrid,” and “excuse me while I barf.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
My point is that my son’s 4 AM breath has GIRTH. It has HEFT. It has POWER. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
It can wake me from a straight-up dead slumber, like nothing else can.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
So I have been driven to take preemptive measures, people. I now sleep facing the wall at all times. I build a “head-fort” of pillows before bed, and I dive under it for relief if necessary. In dire situations, when the wretched stench is powerful enough to waft over my shoulders, I resort to emergency evacuation measures and just go sleep in my son’s bed. His pillows smell bad, but they don’t smell anywhere near as bad as his funky, nasty face abyss.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I mean mouth.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-P-FNQUjqhcE/VLiKunGU4VI/AAAAAAAABIw/yULmj6bjWGA/s1600/10913648_10205887380854689_345291124_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-P-FNQUjqhcE/VLiKunGU4VI/AAAAAAAABIw/yULmj6bjWGA/s1600/10913648_10205887380854689_345291124_n.jpg" width="120" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Sarah del Rio is a comedy writer whose award-winning humor blog </span><b><a href="http://www.established1975.com/">est. 1975</a><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></b><span style="font-size: x-small;">brings snark, levity, and perspective to the ladies of Generation X. </span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Despite being a corporate refugee with absolutely no formal training in English, journalism, or writing of any kind, Sarah somehow manages to find work as a freelance writer and editor.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">She contributes regularly to blog site<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://www.bluntmoms.com/">BLUNTMoms</a> and her blog won <i>Funniest Blog</i> in The Indie Chicks 2014 Badass Blog Awards. She has also been featured on blog sites <a href="http://www.scarymommy.com/">Scary Mommy</a>, <a href="http://www.inthepowderroom.com/">In the Powder Room</a>, and the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Follow her on </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/est1975blog" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Facebook</b></a><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> and laugh at </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">her tweets on </span><a href="http://www.twitter.com/est1975blog"><b>Twitter</b></a><span style="font-size: x-small;">, which have been featured </span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><line-height: 107="">on the <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/best-parenting-tweets-of-the-week/">Huffington Post Best Parenting Tweets of the Week List</a>.</line-height:></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><line-height: 107=""><br />
</line-height:></span> <span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">*Title photo courtesy of Feelart on </span><a href="http://freedigitalphotos.net/" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">freedigitalphotos.net</a><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div>
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 27.08px; text-align: start;">
<div style="line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
<div style="font-size: medium; line-height: 27.0799999237061px;">
<b>If you love the stories you find on this blog, please take a minute and click this banner. Each "vote" improves my ranking and helps me be seen by more great wannabe fans! Thanks! <3</b></div>
</div>
<div style="color: #333333; line-height: 27.0799999237061px; text-align: center;">
</div>
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px; text-align: start;">
<div>
</div>
</div>
<br />
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers" border="0" src="http://www.topmommyblogs.com/directory/images/banners/top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner.gif" height="138" style="cursor: move;" width="575" /></a></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 27.08px; orphans: auto; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queens Mommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08230181252494755022noreply@blogger.com0