The Perils of Co-Showering

I take showers with my four year old.

Whew! Glad to get that out there. Everybody has an opinion about it these days, and most of those people don't even HAVE kids.

It started when she was a baby. It was just easier for me to take her in with me than to trust that the older three kids would leave her alone (and well) long enough for me to shower. And since I enjoy NOT smelling like baby vomit, I had to come up with SOMETHING! And so the idea of co-showering came into play.

When she was really little, it was a team effort with my husband and I taking turns holding her while the other got clean, then one of us would exit, dry off, and then get her out. As she got older, the hubs bowed out. It may have had something to do with the time that she played ding-dong-ditch with his man parts, but I am not certain, and he's not talking. No really, we made a pact to never talk about that (embarrassing yet incredibly hilarious) moment EVER again.

Shoot! I am totally breaking that vow right now. Don't tattle!

So now it's just us. Me and her. And it is just part of our normal routine. I mean, if you don't make a big deal out of something, the kids won't either, right? And they certainly are used to seeing me halfway dressed as I have been walking around in my underwear since they were born. (Not planning on changing that either. Get over it!)

And several funny stories have come about because of our stance on co-showering. The first being the time that she assaulted the man parts with a giggle. But we aren't talking about that one. (See! I CAN keep a secret, honey!) There was also the time that she pooped. THAT was a treat. Let me tell ya. Nothing like playing hopscotch over turds in a slippery bathtub while trying to avoid tripping over a toddler or bringing down the whole shower curtain bar.

And then there was the time that she peed on my feet.

Good times.

But my absolute favorite story is the one that just happened!

Her and I were showering, like usual, me washing her hair, her playing with cups and other toys, when all of a sudden, she milked me! Or at least she tried too! (I TOLD you she had an obsession with boobs!) Before I could even stop her, that child reached up grabbed ahold of the old milk jugs and gave a squeeze! And I KNOW she was a-milkin' because she was holding her cup up to catch the juice!

Oh Lordy! Will this child's breastfeeding fascination EVER end?

I tried (unsuccessfully) not to laugh so that she would take me serious when I told her that "Cows are for milking, NOT mommies! and that "milking mommy's boobies was NOT appropriate touching" and then I asked her if she would like a good milking when she gets some ta-tas of her own? Of course, she giggled a big "no!" And I don't think she believed me when I told her that I WILL pay her back for all this breast assaulting when she is a tween/teen and has her OWN.

But I will!

After all, I have YEARS to plan the perfect revenge.

photo credit: khunaspix via www.freedigitalphotos.net

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