Brennan's Reviews: The Cracker Barrel Restaurant

A Restaurant Review as seen through the eyes of a 4 year old, written by her mother (Because she can't write. Duh.)

I was hungry. Very hungry. You see, I decided I didn't really WANT to eat the food my Great Grandma offered me today when mom was working.

Well, ACTUALLY, I take that back! I DID enjoy a LOT of popcorn at the movie theater, but that doesn't count. Aren't Great Grandmas great? My mom would have NEVER let me eat all that popcorn after wasting all my lunch! WAIT....Where was I?

Oh yeah....hungry.

Mom said we were going to go out to eat after we dropped my sisters off at church. I REALLY hoped it was Culver's...(that place is FANCY!), but mom said we were going someplace with a "barrel" in the name (don't ask me what because I can never remember the name of that place!). Huh. I was stumped. I had never even HEARD of that place 'fore. But okay.... I was willing to give it a shot!

I was REALLY hungry.

Upon arriving, I informed my mom that this restaurant looked like an OLD PEOPLE place. I mean, there were rocking chairs EVERYWHERE. That is where OLD people like to sit and stuff. And I wasn't sure it was gonna be good like Culver's...

Then my dad opened the restaurant door and I was like.... WHOA! Nobody even told me it was like a kid in a candy store in there! (I heard my mom say that 'fore. Ha!) There was stuffs EVERYWHERE! My mom looked a little upset when I tried to touch it all. But isn't that what stuffs is for?!

She seemed pretty relieved when we didn't have to wait to get a table.

I was kinda disappointed. I wasn't really done looking at all that cool stuffs!

But then we went past cool tables with CHECKERS! (I don't really know HOW to PLAY checkers, but my sisters play it and won't let me help, so I KNOW it must be SUPER COOL!) And I wanted to sit there and play since my sisters weren't there to tell me "NO!", but mom made me go to the table.

I didn't think that was very nice. And then she handed me the coloring paper and told me to pick out what I wanted to eat....I picked a cheeseburger. But then I changed my mind cuz I saw chicken fingers and they looked GOOD! So then I picked them.

Mom couldn't decide what she wanted to eat, and so I was getting a little bit bored. I couldn't stop thinking about them CHECKERS. And so I just kept asking if I could go over and see them again. But mom, was all mean and stuffs. She kept saying "no" and telling me to color.

 But I didn't WANT to.

And I was HUNGRY. So I started to whine. (Cuz I know that is how to get moms attention ALL on me and what I want! I'm no dummy!) And I WAS pretty upset cuz I couldn't color the picture that daddy drew for me the way I WANTED to cuz I didn't have the right colors and mommy wasn't really being very helpful. It was a good thing that baby behind me started crying. Cuz then I forgot ALL about my troubles and turned around to stare at THAT kid. Man, that baby sure was MAD. Dad said something to mom about not feeling so bad about ME acting bad cuz we were sitting by other kids who was actin' up too. I am not sure what THAT was s'posed to mean, but I was distracted when our food came, so I couldn't even ask her!

My food looked good. But it was WAY. TOO. HOT. So mom ripped my chicken apart to "cool off" and I didn't really 'preciate that! I like my chicken WHOLE. Cuz I am NOT a baby anymore! Why does she ALWAYS gotta treat me like a BA-BY?! And then she made my ketchup and A-1 TOUCH each other on my plate! WHO DOES THAT?!

My mom. That's who.

And when I tried to tell her about it....she got mad. Can you believe that? She sure did. Then she told me we were gonna have to go to the bathroom and I KNEW it wasn't cuz I had to go pee cuz I already did that in my pants when we were trying to leave my grandma's house!

So I decided I better just eat my chicken and not say no more words. She'd had ENOUGH. (I know that cuz she told me so.)

The chicken was kind of spicy. And so was my A-1. Daddy was pretty happy about that A-1, though! He told my mom ALL about it! He didn't like that generic, bad stuffs my mom had been buyin', then mom said something about cheap toilet paper and daddy said he was sorry for that and wasn't gonna do that NO. MORE. And then I saw that I had SUPER BIG french fries on my plate so I stopped listenin' to all that boring grown-up talk.

I ate ALL my food! Well, not the ends of the chicken strips cuz those were real hard and I don't like my food real hard! So those don't count! And guess what?! I even tasted them broccoli trees on my moms plate! She was real proud of that! (I know cuz she told me ALL about it and how it would help me poop. Ha! She said poop at the restaurant table!) And since I ate ALL my food AND I stopped being a whiner, she even let me sit at the checkers table! But she didn't let me play. She just wanted to take my picture. Probably for her BLOG. (Cuz she is ALWAYS takin' pictures for whatever that "blog" thing is...)

Then we got to go back through that AWESOME toy place/store! I wanted to touch ALL. THE. THINGS! But mom said NO TOUCHING, just LOOK with your EYES. And what's the fun in THAT? So when she wasn't lookin' real close, I touched all kind of stuffs! She was in a big hurry for some reason, though, and was pretty much DRAGGIN' me outta there!

Then I saw it! You will never even BELIEVE what I saw! It was a GIANT checker board! I just HAD to go and see it up close! Mom let me sit there for another picture. WHAT IS IT WITH THIS LADY AND HER CAMERA?

Can't a girl just play some CHECKERS?!

All in all, I give this restaurant 4 out of 5 questionably clean fingers. On account of all the CHECKERS! And that my food was yummy, my fries were HUGE, and there were toys EVERYWHERE! The only thing I didn't like was that my chickens were spicy and hard on the ends. And that mom wouldn't let me stare at that poor kid who was giving a BIG FUSS...

I hope that mom and dad take me back there real soon.

I didn't get to touch all the things...

All opinions in these restaurant reviews are my own and given for free cuz I like to talk and tell stories. Nobody gives me any free food or moneys to tell about my 'ventures. (But if they wanted to, my ears would be listening for sure.)

Did you like my review? Did you know there are more of these suckers?! 

What can I say? I like to eat! You should probably read them too...

Steak 'n Shake Restaurant
The Hibachi Grill Buffet
Fazoli's Restaurant

I also wrote about a cool movie that I love to watch. You can read that here:
Prima Princessa presents The Nutcracker

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