A Bedtime Tale

For YEARS I have been reading "Green Eggs and Ham", by Dr. Seuss, to the kids at bedtime. I have read it so many times that I consider myself quite the expert story teller....voices and excitement and lots of fun. The kids have always LOVED it. Night after night, begging for the same story. And I delighted in reading it, perfecting it with each telling. I practically know the whole story by heart!

Then tonight happened.

My four year old daughter, Brennan, picked it for her bedtime story for the first time. My excitement was real. FINALLY! I would get to read this great story to my baby! I have asked her time and again to pick it, and she has always refused, favoring fairy tales and Disney princess stories and other such nonsense.. But tonight...TONIGHT will be the night!

I start out with excitement, in my perfected storytelling voice-
I am Sam
Sam I am
That Sam I am...

"Why does he have angry eyes?"

Cuz he thinks Sam is annoying
That Sam I am
I do not like that Sam I am
Do you like green eggs and ham?
I do not like them, Sam I am. 
I do not like green eggs and ham.
Would you like them here or there?
I would not like them here or there. I would...

"Why doesn't he just offer him something he DOES like?"

not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam I am.

"WHY DOES THIS STORY KEEP REPEATING ITSELF???!"

(Exasperated) Cuz that is how it is written!

"Well that's dumb. Just give the guy what he wants already! Can we read 'Tangled' instead mommy?"

Psssssshhhhhhhhhhh. That is the sound of my "Green Eggs and Ham" dreams being crushed. The puck stops here.

And so, I put my treasured childhood favorite back on the shelf, pull out the well-worn Disney princess book...

And read "Tangled" for the five millionth time.

This blog post has sections from the childhood classic "Green Eggs and Ham" by Dr. Seuss. No copyright infringements intended.

Did you enjoy this post?

 Clickety-click here to vote for my blog!

You can vote 1 time every 24 hours from all devices!

Follow me on Facebook
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queen's Momma

Follow me on Twitter
 @Momma_Dramas 

Loved it? Let me know! Leave me a comment! 

Want more Brennan stories?

Top 10 Things NOT to say to Parents

I think we have all been guilty of saying things without thinking, sometimes our mouths get ahead of our brains. 

But some things...SOME THINGS are just so horrible that you probably shouldn't even think them, let alone let them slip out of your pie hole.

In that spirit, I put together a list of some of the things that I think should NEVER be said to parents. EVER. Under ANY circumstances. I bet you can relate...

10. Yoga pants AGAIN, huh?! Did your washing machine break down? Or are you just slacking on your "wifely" duties??
You caught me! I have only done 50 loads THIS week...but I should just kill myself to stay caught up. And while I am at it, I should probably also squeeze myself into some "skinny" jeans and pretend I am 20 and without kids too.

9. You look like you put on a little weight! Are you expecting?
My favorite! No, I am just fat. Ya know F-A-T, the way you look after having 4 kids and not going to the gym like a crazy maniac and hiding in the closet with chocolate every time the kids are driving you batty.

Just so you know, the look on people's faces after stating you are in fact NOT pregnant is ALMOST worth the insult that you are.

8. Ooooh, you sure have your hands full! I hope you are about finished having babies...
Actually, we have decided to have 5 more! Would you like to be added to my babysitting list?

7. If I were you.....ANYTHING!
Self explanatory. You aren't me.

6. Ummm, excuse me! If you would just go ahead and GIVE IN to your child's shopping checkout lane temper tantrum we would ALL appreciate it!
I would LOVE to! I also would love to send them on home with YOU for the afternoon! 

No?! Then maybe you should just turn back around. Stat.

5. I don't have kids, but ______ (insert ANY advice here)
If you don't have kids, you should STAY out of it. Please and thank-you. (Just trying to keep it civil here.)

4. If you spank your child (or discipline them in any way) I will call the police on you.
Yes! Please do. Maybe they would babysit these naughty kiddos for a couple hours so I can catch a break.

3. Oh, I could NEVER breastfeed! It's so gross! (Especially AS a mother is breastfeeding)
Well, it's a good thing I am NOT you then. And if you don't like it, why the heck are you staring so intently? Mind your manners (and eyeballs) and your own business while you are at it.

2. Looks like you are getting a little frustrated there...Maybe you should just calm down....
CALM DOWN??! Sure. I will get right on that. After I stab you with this spork in my hand.

1. You look tired! You probably could use a little break, huh?! You should go on a vacation.
Let me get RIGHT on that! Shut yer trap. UNLESS you are offering to babysit AND pay for aforementioned vacation....then I love you. No seriously. Will you pay?! Help a girl out! Don't make me resort to begging.

What would YOU add to the list?

 

Click the shiny banner to vote for me and help me become Top Mommy Blogger! I like to be #1...

Follow me on Facebook
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queen's Momma

Follow me on Twitter
 @Momma_Dramas 

Loved it? Let me know! Leave me a comment!