Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts

Sunday, November 23, 2014

What I am REALLY thankful for this holiday season...

As we arrive at this time of giving and Thanksgiving, you see tons of posts on Facebook and other social media sights listing the things people are "thankful" for. Some of them tug at your heart strings. Some of them make you laugh. Some of them are a big old farce. You know the ones I am talking about! Come on folks! Don't forget we know you in real life...

And of course, as a mom, I am thankful for my wonderful family. That goes without saying. I mean, how could you not cherish this sweet little face? And her many, many, MANY drawings of our family show how much we mean to her too.



And I am thankful for awesome little "mommy moments" like reading my favorite childhood classic with my kids every night. And then finding the movie on Netflix and enjoying a family movie night.


But let's face it, most moms' lists of things they are really "thankful" for are selfish and include things that are taken for granted before you become parents.

Things like:

Going to the bathroom ALONE
You know you are a mom when you take your phone to the toilet with you so you can have five minutes of peace and quiet while you scroll through your Facebook newsfeed or catch a few minutes of your favorite show on Netflix. I get you. I do the same thing. 

Hey, there is NOTHING wrong with your kids thinking you need to take a half hour poop twice a day while you watch Charmed... Right?!

Making a gourmet dinner that is actually APPRECIATED
And maybe even enjoyed. Is that too much to ask? There is nothing like pouring your heart and soul out in the kitchen night after night just to be bombarded with cries of "Eww! What IS that" and "Can't I just have a PB&J instead?" And those are just what I hear from my husband! 

Most moms would give anything for a dinner night that went off without a hitch or single complaint. Or maybe that is just me.

Having some time to write, craft, read, or even THINK 
Insert your favorite thing in this one. It's okay to be selfish sometimes! As parents, we always put our kids needs ahead of our own. There is nothing wrong with doing the things we enjoy sometimes. And there is no need to feel guilty about being thankful for those few moments of peace!

Having some "alone time" with the spouse
How can you keep the romance alive if you don't ever get any time alone? I am truly thankful for the fact that our kids are finally getting old enough to be left at home alone while we enjoy a dinner out and some time to talk about things other than "Brennan hasn't had a bowel movement in two days" and "the kids need: new shoes, haircuts, Christmas presents"....the list goes on and on! It is nice to talk about grownup stuff, like "how to get rich by making a house that cleans itself" and "who can eat the biggest meatball"

Yes, those are things my husband and I actually have discussed on "date night". Be jealous! It's okay.

Having control of the remote control
How many episodes of Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood and Bratz Babies can one mom take before she goes insane? I am tempted to change the Netflix password some days! I long for those quiet moments when I can curl up in the corner with my iPad and binge watch the shows that I want to watch. 

Thank you Netflix for the ability to stream more than one show at a time!

For that I am TRULY grateful.

What are YOU grateful for this Thanksgiving?


I receive complimentary service in return for my endorsement, but all opinions and referrals are 100% my own opinion.

Did you enjoy this post?
 Clickety-click to vote for me and make me #1 Mommy Blogger!
Vote for me @ Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory
Be sure to leave a comment while you are over there! 
I am listed in the "Humor" section.



Follow me on Facebook

Follow me on Twitter




Thursday, October 23, 2014

The 10 most annoying Facebook moms: A guest post by Tracey Schaefer


A funny post written by Tracey Shaefer, who doesn't have a blog just yet, but spends her time entertaining the masses on her Facebook page, Spit Up, Meltdowns and Blowouts. Go check her out!
___________________________________________________

The 10 most annoying Facebook moms
by Tracey Schaefer of Spit Up, Meltdowns and Blowouts

When fellow blogger, Lisa Petty of Petty Thoughts published her hilarious article “10 Tiresome Facebook Friends” back in August, it got me thinking about another strange subspecies of Facebook animal.

A beast that I've had extensive contact with in it's natural habitat: The Facebook mom.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Top 10 Things NOT to say to Parents

I think we have all been guilty of saying things without thinking, sometimes our mouths get ahead of our brains. 

But some things...SOME THINGS are just so horrible that you probably shouldn't even think them, let alone let them slip out of your pie hole.

In that spirit, I put together a list of some of the things that I think should NEVER be said to parents. EVER. Under ANY circumstances. I bet you can relate...

10. Yoga pants AGAIN, huh?! Did your washing machine break down? Or are you just slacking on your "wifely" duties??
You caught me! I have only done 50 loads THIS week...but I should just kill myself to stay caught up. And while I am at it, I should probably also squeeze myself into some "skinny" jeans and pretend I am 20 and without kids too.

9. You look like you put on a little weight! Are you expecting?
My favorite! No, I am just fat. Ya know F-A-T, the way you look after having 4 kids and not going to the gym like a crazy maniac and hiding in the closet with chocolate every time the kids are driving you batty.

Just so you know, the look on people's faces after stating you are in fact NOT pregnant is ALMOST worth the insult that you are.

8. Ooooh, you sure have your hands full! I hope you are about finished having babies...
Actually, we have decided to have 5 more! Would you like to be added to my babysitting list?

7. If I were you.....ANYTHING!

Self explanatory. You aren't me.

6. Ummm, excuse me! If you would just go ahead and GIVE IN to your child's shopping checkout lane temper tantrum we would ALL appreciate it!
I would LOVE to! I also would love to send them on home with YOU for the afternoon! 

No?! Then maybe you should just turn back around. Stat.

5. I don't have kids, but ______ (insert ANY advice here)
If you don't have kids, you should STAY out of it. Please and thank-you. (Just trying to keep it civil here.)


4. If you spank your child (or discipline them in any way) I will call the police on you.
Yes! Please do. Maybe they would babysit these naughty kiddos for a couple hours so I can catch a break.

3. Oh, I could NEVER breastfeed! It's so gross! (Especially AS a mother is breastfeeding)

Well, it's a good thing I am NOT you then. And if you don't like it, why the heck are you staring so intently? Mind your manners (and eyeballs) and your own business while you are at it.

2. Looks like you are getting a little frustrated there...Maybe you should just calm down....

CALM DOWN??! Sure. I will get right on that. After I stab you with this spork in my hand.

1. You look tired! You probably could use a little break, huh?! You should go on a vacation.

Let me get RIGHT on that! Shut yer trap. UNLESS you are offering to babysit AND pay for aforementioned vacation....then I love you. No seriously. Will you pay?! Help a girl out! Don't make me resort to begging.


What would YOU add to the list?
 

Vote for me @ Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory
Click the shiny banner to vote for me and help me become Top Mommy Blogger! I like to be #1...


Follow me on Facebook
A Day in the Life of a Drama Queen's Momma

Follow me on Twitter
 @Momma_Dramas 

Loved it? Let me know! Leave me a comment!