Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire: Outrageous lies told by kids

If you have a child, chances are you have been lied to on one occasion or another. And if you are super lucky, you will have a grand embellisher like we do. Our middle daughter knows how to spin a tale, let me tell ya.

A Girl and Her Dreams

My nine year old daughter LOVES animals.

She has labeled herself "Dog Trainer of the Year" despite the fact that we don't even own a dog. If you have a dog, WATCH OUT! She will insist on "training" it. To a point where when your dog sees her, it will run and hide, and no amount of treats will coax it back out.

She wants to be a vegetarian because it is mean to eat animals. Except for bacon. She doesn't want to stop eating bacon. (But who in their right mind does?!) And she doesn't really like any vegetables. But that isn't a pre-requisite. Right?

She once played hooky from school so that she could stay home and watch an all-day marathon of "Pitbulls and Parolees." No, I was NOT aware that was the reason beforehand. But she did end up admitting it later that night when the other kids were doing something fun and she couldn't because she was "sick". Tough lesson.

She wants to be either a veterinarian or a zoologist when she grows up. Or maybe both. For as long as I can remember asking her, her answer has never changed.

Unfortunately for this sweet girl, she has two things working against her.

First, we live in an apartment. One that doesn't allow pets. Not even in a cage.

Second, she is allergic to almost all animals that could be considered "pet" material, including: dogs, cats, horses, and rabbits. She was formally tested for allergies a couple years ago when she was having trouble with chronic ear infections and those were her results.

Devastating news to a little girl with big aspirations to be a vet... or so you would think.

But NOT this girl. In fact, she told the allergy doctor that she was going to be a veterinarian when she grows up and he, of course, trying to let her down gently, informed her " that probably wouldn't be a very good idea due to her allergies." She took one look at him and put him right back into his place. She would be a vet. And that was that. He chuckled and told her that she would keep him in business that way. I chuckled because I knew that she meant it.

I know that one day she probably will work with animals. She is my dreamer. And my do-er. But for now, she is stuck living out her animal fantasies by training your dog and by watching animal shows and movies on Netflix. So far we have watched Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3, 101 Dalmatians (the live one), and all the "Buddies" movies a thousand times a piece. 

Thank goodness Netflix just released a brand new series called The Adventures of Puss in Boots (my personal favorite character from the Shrek movies!) so that we can switch it up a little bit. 

Hey, a mom can only watch a movie so many times, no matter how good it is!

I receive complimentary Netflix service in return for my endorsement, but all opinions and referrals are 100% my own opinion.

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Casa de Drama's Christmas Vacation

Last summer, I had a whole lot of fun chronicling our life through snippets of conversations and pictures in a fun little series I lovingly deemed "Casa de Drama." I promised, when it ended, to pop back in with it occasionally...aaaaand have failed miserably.

What? I have four kids. What more do you people WANT from me?!

But after surviving these last two weeks with the kids and the husband and all the Christmas gatherings and work...I decided it was time.

So, come! Take a walk with me through our two week holiday, filled with as much laughs as it was filled with gas. (But I am pretty sure that was just Grandma's beans talkin'.) We may not be the Griswolds, but we are, at the very least, cousin Eddie.

*****

Vacation started out well enough. I had the day off of work and so I went to school with Brennan for her Holiday Party. What a treat! Brennan was pretty excited to have mom at school and had been telling all her friends I was coming. So basically I was the center of attention of 20 cupcake-sticky-fingered 4 year olds. Exciting!

At least I got the royal treatment unlike this funny conversation I had with Brennan about her daddy bringing her birthday treat to school next week:
Brennan: I am gonna be embarrassed in school.
Me: Why?
Brennan: Because. Why can't I just take my cupcakes on the bus?
Me: Because they might spill or tip over and get ruined. Dad is going to drive you, remember?
Brennan: I think the best thing is to not go to school on Monday...
Me: You do?! Why?
Brennan: Just because.
#IthinkSheThinksDadIsEmbarrassing 
#BurnedByAPreschooler

But, I can't really blame the girl. Her daddy CAN be a bit of a spotlight stealer. And sometimes his choices in clothing....well....it's probably a good thing preschoolers can't read! And he does scare the neighborhood with his shirtless "private parts" showing as Brennan so delicately warned us...

Brennan (looking at hubs sitting on couch shirtless): ummmm, you're gonna scare people...
Hubs: why? Cuz I don't have a shirt on?
Brennan: No. With your private parts.

Thanks to the "good touch, bad touch" program at school, my 4yo thinks her daddy's "boobies" should always be covered. And she has repeatedly embarrassed us in public. A couple days ago she told the teen's friend, "Watch out! My dad's private parts are out!" (Because he was shirtless) 
Lord have mercy! I almost died.

But, I am getting ahead of myself here! The first few days of vacation went well. The kids played good together. I even gathered up the littles and created this fun Snowman project that uses up lonely socks (you know, the ones the washer eats the mate too!): 


This one belonged to the middle little, Kk. She did pretty good, I think!

But after a few days, the crazy comes out. You know what I am talking about....
The fights. The messes. The inability to hear and follow directions. All of this craziness led to my New Year's Resolution: Accept the mess.

We did manage to get things cleaned up enough for the Christmas tree to go up, at least. Which made Brennan think the presents underneath it were a free for all.

I'm bored. I think I will just open up a Christmas present. Okay, momma?!

-My 4yo. Living the life.

But eventually, we managed to survive arrive at Christmas morning. And let's face it...the wondrous looks of joy on the kiddos faces, lit only by the glow of the Christmas tree lights, as they opened their stockings...makes all the other stuff worthwhile!

And the giant mess created by opening presents is soon forgotten in the joys of trying to assemble gifts that were clearly made in China. Or not...
Hubs: Who in their right mind puts the directions to build this thing ON THE BOTTOM OF THE THING YOU ARE BUILDING??
Me: The people who made it. In china. (examining box and discovering the giant Made in the USA sign) 
Me: Okay. I guess not. It was apparently made in the good ole US of A. Probably by sweatshop children that were illegally immigrated from China.
Hubs: Too bad we couldn't get some of them over here to put this stupid thing together!
Me: Weeellll, we can always let our OWN sweatshop children do it! Ooooooh teeeeeeen!

But seriously. WHO DOES THAT? And the teen, he put that sucker together in record time.

I knew we kept him around for some good reason.

After all that fiasco was solved and the stupid, giant dollhouse was assembled, we got all dolled up for some Christmas party fun. I think we clean up pretty well, don't you?

But my favorite part of the ENTIRE vacation was when I got my Grandma to take a selfie with me. This lady is a hoot! (And pretty good with the duck lips, if I do say so myself!)











Coming in at a close second, was all the fun we had this year by staying in for New Year's Eve. The kids are FINALLY old enough to have a family game night, and that is just what we did!

Thanks to Netflix, who sent us this awesome package of party favors, we partied like it was the end of 2014. Oh wait! It was!

"Hey, mom! Where'd ya get that package from? ...Netflix?" -Kk

Uhhhhh....Here's your sign kid!

#BloggingPerks #Streamteam

We had so much fun at our little New Year's party! We played all kinds of fun games. Brennan whooped us ALL in Uno and I showed the kids who was boss with a double yahtzee on my very last roll! And they all thought I was dumb for writing "mom rocks" on my score card before we started playing! Psssh.

When it's your last roll and all you need is fours and you get a Yahtzee....of all fours.

Mom rocks. #HappyNewYear

I did have to stage an intervention for the teen and his love affair with the sparkling juice, though.... I told him he was going to have to go to non-alcoholics anonymous if he didn't chill out with that stuff. Three bottles in one night is just TOO MUCH, man!

Thanks so much for joining in our adventures, not only of the past couple weeks, but the whole year! 

Wishing you many blessings in 2015

xoxo

Want to see what else happened this past year? 
Check out these posts:

All Aboard the Hoo-Hoo Express
A Bedtime Tale
Well, that's just the poops!
If you see me running....RUN!
Brennan Reviews: The Cracker Barrel Restaurant
The Great Tooth Tragedy
Brennan Tid-Bits: A Facebook year in review
Cows are for milking, NOT mommies!
Back when life was all "Raindrops on Roses"

And of course, don't miss ANY of the Casa de Drama recap posts!

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Do You Want To Build A Snowman?

A snowman. So cute. So fun. (As long as I am watching the kids from the window and not expected to participate out in the cold snow!) This month, I discovered a much warmer way to enjoy a cute little snowman. 

Occasionally, this momma likes to get a little crafty. And once in a blue moon, I even involve the kiddos. (Not too often, though, I DON'T have a death wish, for me OR them!) But this idea had "kids" written all over it. So I gathered up the supplies (and the girlies) and got to crafting. The end results were so adorably cute that I just had to share! 

Now you can make your own little snowmen, in the comfort of your pj's while enjoying a mug of hot cocoa. And when you are done, you can cuddle up under a blanket on the couch and watch The Legend of Frosty the Snowman on Netflix just like we did!

Supplies you will need:

*White tube-style kids socks (That pile that is waiting to find their long-lost match works great!)

*Rice

*Hot glue gun and scissors

*Tiny hair rubberbands

*Scraps of material, buttons, and other embellishments


Step 1: 
Cut the sock about a 1/2 inch below the ribbed part and above the heel. The top half of the sock will become your snowman. Fold over and glue at the bottom to make a little sack. This step is definitely done best by a grown up. I did this part before inviting the kiddos to join in.

Step 2:
Fill the sack with rice. This may take two people, especially if little ones are helping! And you can expect a mess too. (But that is just common sense when crafting with the kiddos!) Make sure to stretch the sock out to get it nice and full and to leave about a 1/2 inch space at the top for closing. Use a little hair rubberband to seal off the top.

Step 3:
Cut a strip of scrap material. This will be the scarf. It will also help separate your snowman into two parts. Tie the strip around the "neck" of your snowman (tight, but not too tight!) Use hot glue to hold the ends of the scarf in place. Next, make a hat out of the toe of the sock. Roll up the end of the sock and then glue the hat to the top of the snowman's head. You can turn the sock inside out to get a different look. And if you want to get really fancy (and have lots of mismatched kids socks laying around), you can even use patterned socks for the hat!

Step 4:
Decorate your little snowman. Use buttons, scraps of material, and any other embellishments you can find laying around the house. I made a little bow for the hat by cutting strips into a small piece of scrap material and attaching a cute button to the top. Use a sharpie marker to draw on "coal eyes" and a smile.

The possibilities are endless!

Happy crafting!

Don't forget to check out Netflix for The Legend of Frosty the Snowman and other Holiday classics!

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What I am REALLY thankful for this holiday season...

As we arrive at this time of giving and Thanksgiving, you see tons of posts on Facebook and other social media sights listing the things people are "thankful" for. Some of them tug at your heart strings. Some of them make you laugh. Some of them are a big old farce. You know the ones I am talking about! Come on folks! Don't forget we know you in real life...

And of course, as a mom, I am thankful for my wonderful family. That goes without saying. I mean, how could you not cherish this sweet little face? And her many, many, MANY drawings of our family show how much we mean to her too.

And I am thankful for awesome little "mommy moments" like reading my favorite childhood classic with my kids every night. And then finding the movie on Netflix and enjoying a family movie night.

But let's face it, most moms' lists of things they are really "thankful" for are selfish and include things that are taken for granted before you become parents.

Things like:

Going to the bathroom ALONE

You know you are a mom when you take your phone to the toilet with you so you can have five minutes of peace and quiet while you scroll through your Facebook newsfeed or catch a few minutes of your favorite show on Netflix. I get you. I do the same thing. 

Hey, there is NOTHING wrong with your kids thinking you need to take a half hour poop twice a day while you watch Charmed... Right?!

Making a gourmet dinner that is actually APPRECIATED

And maybe even enjoyed. Is that too much to ask? There is nothing like pouring your heart and soul out in the kitchen night after night just to be bombarded with cries of "Eww! What IS that" and "Can't I just have a PB&J instead?" And those are just what I hear from my husband! 

Most moms would give anything for a dinner night that went off without a hitch or single complaint. Or maybe that is just me.

Having some time to write, craft, read, or even THINK 

Insert your favorite thing in this one. It's okay to be selfish sometimes! As parents, we always put our kids needs ahead of our own. There is nothing wrong with doing the things we enjoy sometimes. And there is no need to feel guilty about being thankful for those few moments of peace!

Having some "alone time" with the spouse

How can you keep the romance alive if you don't ever get any time alone? I am truly thankful for the fact that our kids are finally getting old enough to be left at home alone while we enjoy a dinner out and some time to talk about things other than "Brennan hasn't had a bowel movement in two days" and "the kids need: new shoes, haircuts, Christmas presents"....the list goes on and on! It is nice to talk about grownup stuff, like "how to get rich by making a house that cleans itself" and "who can eat the biggest meatball"

Yes, those are things my husband and I actually have discussed on "date night". Be jealous! It's okay.

Having control of the remote control

How many episodes of Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood and Bratz Babies can one mom take before she goes insane? I am tempted to change the Netflix password some days! I long for those quiet moments when I can curl up in the corner with my iPad and binge watch the shows that I want to watch. 

Thank you Netflix for the ability to stream more than one show at a time!

For that I am TRULY grateful.

What are YOU grateful for this Thanksgiving?

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Milestones: The Good, The Bad, and the Bittersweet

*Title photo courtesy of suphakit72 at www.freedigitalphotos.net

Milestones. We look forward to so many of them as parents. Although, I am sure we regret some of them the instant they happen....take walking for instance. We encourage and prod and completely spazz out over our baby's first steps. Then a month later, as we are chasing them away from the hot stove and up the staircase, and they are grabbing stuff off the counter that they used to not be able to reach, we wonder why in the world we EVER wished for them to walk!

We have looked forward to all those same milestones with each of our kids. First rolling over, then crawling, then walking, talking, going potty on the toilet, and heading off to school. Each accomplishment is special and we ooh and aah over it, take a million pictures, call friends and family members, post about it on Facebook, and brag to everyone who will listen. And we have done that with each of our kids.

So why is it that these same accomplishments feel so different with our youngest daughter?

She is our baby. The whole family tends to rotate around her and we know this. Everyone dotes on her, including the other kids. She is the last one and we all know it (even though SHE isn't convinced OR happy about this decision!) 

And so these milestones seem kind of bittersweet. 

When she started crawling, it meant that she no longer needed me to carry her everywhere. When she started walking it meant that she was gaining even more independence. When she stopped breastfeeding, I felt sad knowing that I would never again kiss the top of a sweet-smelling little baby head while nursing. When she stopped wearing diapers, well... THAT one made me happy! Who in their right mind ENJOYS changing a stinky, poo-filled diaper? Not me! But you catch my drift.

A couple weeks ago, she passed another milestone moment- our little baby girl started preschool. It was long awaited and she was ready, but the day I put her on the school bus for the very first time, I fought back those same tears I had fought back three times before when her older siblings walked up those big bus steps too. And when she stuck her little face up to that bus window, grinning from ear to ear, and waving like crazy, it was all I could do to not start bawling like a baby myself. 

But, she was happy and so I should be too, right? While going to school marks another notch of independence for my last baby, it also opens up three wonderful hours to myself each afternoon. And what mom doesn't want that? I have started using that time to catch up on my favorite shows on Netflix. WHILE folding laundry...sheesh! I am not a TOTAL slacker! 

I am currently binge-watching both "Haven" and "Psych" and just finished watching the entire first season of "Witches of East End".  I just LOVE Netflix! There are so many possibilities! Imagine what it will be like once she starts full day school next year!

Oh, there I go again! Wishing for the next milestone. I guess that is what we do as parents, welcome each accomplishment as it comes, then look forward to the next.

What milestones are you currently celebrating?

Be sure to check out these great movies that celebrate milestones on Netflix:

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