Friday, December 26, 2014

Reasonable Resolutions

A new year. A chance for new beginnings.

Ah, who am I kidding? Every year we make a list of resolutions that does nothing but gather dust. Diets get started only to end in a late night binge because you are chocolate deprived and you don't want to share with the kids. Gym memberships are purchased only to become a place to use the bathroom at 2 am after a night out with friends. (Not that I know that from experience or anything!)

This year, I am making resolutions that I can actually stick to. Resolutions like...

I am going to accept the fact that my girls' room is just going to be a mess. No matter how many times I send them to clean it. No matter how many times I clean it myself. It. doesn't. matter. It will ALWAYS look like this ---->
In 2015, I vow to just shut the door.

Now that is a reasonable resolution. (Until I go insane and ransack it with a jumbo size trash bag!)

I asked some of my favorite bloggers and Facebook funny guys to tell me their resolutions. They came up with a list that is truly do-able.

At least in my opinion!

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I will take 5 minutes every morning before I get up to stretch, take a few deep breaths, and be mindful. Just kidding. I am going to go back to sleep and pretend I don't hear my alarm until my husband yells at me.
-Meg from Megsanity. Women, psychology and expletives
Find her blog at www.megsanity.com
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I tend to sing a lot with my kids, changing the lyrics of the songs to get them to follow directions. This year I resolve to no longer use the "Hokey Pokey" tune as a clean up song.
-Serendipity from Mother of Serendipity
Find her blog at www.motherofserendipity.blogspot.com


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I strive to be the winner of the MEANEST Mom of 2015 Award by making my teen vacuum the house every time she gets lippy with me, thus securing my nomination.
-LauraLynn from Steel Workers Wife
Find her blog at www.steelwrkrswife.wordpress.com
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I vow to not eat any more Doritos. No matter if they are being served at a Super Bowl party. No matter if I am sticking my hand into a bag at 7 am to portion them out in a baggie for my son's lunch. No matter if I am PMSing. No matter if I have a crap day with the kids and I DESERVE THEM DAMN DORITOS! (Oh hell. Who am I kidding? Hand me the Doritos.)
-Ashley from Big Top Family
Find her blog at www.bigtopfamily.com
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I'm going to exercise more, because it clears my head and makes me a better mom. Hahaha not really. I exercise because it gives me an excuse to get the heck out of the house and have some damn time to myself, and perhaps, more importantly, makes caloric room for cookies.
-Kristen from Abandoning Pretense
Find her blog at www.abandoningpretense.com
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I resolve to get all the toys out of my bed!...By this, of course, I mean all the random toys my kids bring with them when they crawl into my bed in the middle of the night. My bed used to be the place where all the magic happened. The only magic happening there these days is the kind that makes me feel like I closed my eyes 2 seconds before the alarm goes off. 
Can I change my resolution? Maybe I need to resolve to find time for some of that "good" magic...
-Aeron from Inappropriate Bursts of Laughter
Find her blog at www.innapropriateburstsoflaughter.blogspot.com

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I am going to learn to accept the fact that my son will always be up at an ungodly hour when I hope to sleep in. And I will just get up and make breakfast instead of trying to convince him to go back to bed for 30 minutes before I get up. And I will accept the fact that once breakfast is made, and I'm wide awake, he will go back to sleep without eating.
-Tonie from Thoughts of a Future Alcoholic
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I resolve to have no guilt about skipping over the longest pages when reading to my kids if I compensate by making special voices for characters like the puffer fish.
-Samantha from Dr. Psych Mom
Find her blog at www.drpsychmom.com
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I will buy Lysol and carpet cleaner and never blame the toddler for the puppy's accident (again). Also, I resolve to never assume the weight for pull-ups sizes is accurate. Just because it says a certain number of pounds, does not mean that is the amount of weight it holds2015 will not be another Poomageddon.
-Chrisi from Moe and Co
Find her blog at www.sweetmoeandco.blogspot.com
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I resolve to spend more time hiding in the bathroom with a secret stash of chocolate and wine.


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I am going to create meals that resemble adult fare versus a fridge purge. I will not make 3 meals a night to be served in different rooms to satisfy all the peccadilloes of our taste buds. In 2015, we will eat like a human family even if I have to zap strap us all to the kitchen chairs.
-Brooke from missteenussr.com
Find her blog at www.missteenussr.com
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I will not fake interest in a gym membership, pretend I won't eat that burger, and I certainly won't post a "New Year, New Me" status. No. None of the cliches. If I'm gonna pledge to do something for the new year, I guess it is time to pull out the ole hairbrush (the one I keep hidden in the shower) and turn Punk Rock Papa into Punk Rock Rappa.
-Briton from Punk Rock Papa: Adventures in Fatherhood
Find his blog at www.punkrockpapa.wordpress.com
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I am going to stop stressing over my son's non-stop eating and raiding the fridge. I will just stop buying him bigger pants.
-Rebecca from the brand spankin' new blog OrthodoxSunflower

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My resolution is to stop freaking out about my boys getting holes in the knees of every. single. pair. of jeans they own. Instead, I will start cutting the pants at the kneehole and turn them into jorts (jean shorts for men). He will be humiliated because people will think he's a University of Florida fan, and that's an insult in my neck of the woods. 

Also, I resolve to drink more Scotch....Because, Scotch.
-Jessica from Herd Management
Find her blog at www.herd-management.com


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I will eat at least one meal a day that does not contain goldfish, chicken nuggets, or peanut butter. I will have at least one grown-up meal a day.
-Michelle from Juicebox Confession
Find her blog at www.juiceboxconfession.com
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I am going to paint more, bitch less, and try to convince my husband that getting a tattoo is a normal thing to want and I am not going to end up going all "breaking bad" on him if I get one.
-Amber from Mommy Needs Wine, Not Whine
Find her blog at www.mommyneedswinenotwhine.wordpress.com
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I resolve to spend more mornings snuggling in bed instead of running around my house trying to make everything look perfect. Everything already is perfect.
-Jen from Motherhood is not for the weak or the sober.
Find her blog at www.motherhoodisnotfortheweakorthesober.wordpress.com



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What is your resolution this new year?
We want to hear all about it!
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6 comments:

  1. I love this!! Happy new year!!

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  2. LOVE this! :) Looking forward to 2015...and my new shiny award. ;)

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  3. Love it!! Honored to be featured on here :)
    Rebecca from http://orthodoxsunflower.wordpress.com

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  4. Thanks to everyone who contributed to this awesome list! You guys are the bomb. The good kind.

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  5. LOL - these are AWESOME!

    What a great list.

    Thanks for sharing!
    xoxo

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