Tuesday, June 16, 2015

A walk to the park

If it is warm and sunny, chances are, your kids will want to go to the park. And since you have been on a fitness kick, you will decide that walking the half mile to the park is a great way to burn some extra calories so that you can afford to eat that bowl of ice cream you have been craving.

So you will grab your phone and a book, lock the door, and you will walk.

With your kids.

Along that walk, your kids will notice some wildflowers growing, and they will pick you some. Their beautiful yellow bouquet will remind you that you are allergic to dandelions. Unfortunately it won't remind the kids, who will find that blowing the dandelion seeds is a delightful game that makes mom sneeze.

All that laughter will remind the kids that it is always super fun to cross a busy street. Thankfully there aren't any cars coming as your five year old darts across it without looking. So you will run across the street too, screaming like a wild banshee, which will remind the kids that while crossing the street is fun, it is even more fun to run way ahead of you so that you have to chase them.

All that running will remind you why you don't like running. It will remind the kids that trespassing through people's front yards and picking flowers out of their flower beds is even more fun than darting across a street while mom screams.

You will finally reach the park, though your sanity may be trailing slightly behind the pack.

Reaching the park will remind you that you brought a book and can maybe have five minutes of peace and quiet to catch up on some reading.

Reaching the park will remind your kids that it is always fun to climb up to the top of the rope tower and scream for help getting down.

You put down your book and head out to the rescue.

Coaxing a frightened five year old down from the top of the playground equipment will remind you why it is stupid to bring a book to the park. It will remind your five year old that she really does love to climb that thing and she will climb back up again. And again. And again.

You finally persuade her to try something different so that you can sit down with your book.

Then your phone rings. It is your husband. He is on his way home from work. You attempt to spend two minutes talking to him and of course, that is when your five year old decides to climb up a twisty pole on her own and bumps her chin. You hang up the phone to comfort her.

Bumping her chin will remind her that she hasn't been up the rope tower in a while and she will start that fun game all over again.

You will finally get the kids playing independently and sit down to read your book.

That is when you will notice that the temperature has dropped slightly and the sky is starting to get a little darker. Wait. Was that a raindrop? You are reminded that you have to walk home and you attempt to gather up the kids to start the trek back home.

You telling the kids that it is about to rain and you need to leave, reminds them that they never went down the slide. And because you can't go to the park without going down the slide (five hundred times) they will run up the steps to go down the slide.

You will feel another raindrop and remember that not only did you walk to the park, you are carrying a book and a cell phone and don't have any pockets. You will tell the kids that if they don't come now, they will have to find a new family because you are leaving, with or without them.

This announcement will make your five year old run back up the steps to the top of the slide for "one last time."

You feel another rain drop.

Feeling the rain drop will remind your kids that you have to walk home. And they will come running. It will remind you that you don't have a safe place to put your phone to keep it from getting wet and you will set a faster pace.

Seeing you walk faster, will remind the kids how fun it is to run way ahead of mom on the side of a busy street. You will run after them, screaming like a wild banshee. Again.

You will feel more rain, as it starts to come down in a light sprinkle. This will remind your five year old that she really doesn't like rain which will set her into a panic. She will cry and carry on and act like she is sugar and the rain is going to wash her away.

During all that fuss, the rain will start to come down even harder. That will remind your five year old that rain is wet. It will also remind her that when it rains on you, your clothes stick to you. That will cause her to panic even more. All that crying and carrying on will remind you why it is smart to check the weather before going on a walk to the park.

You somehow make it home from the park without your five year old melting or you blowing your top. You get inside right as the rain stops. When the rain stops, the sun will come back out which will remind your kids that when it is warm and sunny...

You want to go play at the park.

This time, you drive.

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