Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire: Outrageous lies told by kids

If you have a child, chances are you have been lied to on one occasion or another. And if you are super lucky, you will have a grand embellisher like we do. Our middle daughter knows how to spin a tale, let me tell ya.

We have heard it ALL.

A new movie coming out this weekend? You can bet she has already seen it with her friend last week.

Did something get broken when she was the only one in the room? It certainly wasn't her. It was probably the ghost that has moved into our non-existent attic.

But the story that beats them all, is the story of Rico, the frog.

You see, my little girl just loves frogs. And it is just her luck that her Nana and Boppa live out in the country and have a pond that is just teeming with frogs, of all kinds, every single summer. And she never fails to catch a hundred of them poor, innocent creatures and love them to death.


This particular story took place on a nice sunshine-y summer day. And like all beautiful, summer days, the grown-ups sent the kids outside to play while they sat around on the porch chatting.

This particular day the frogs had ventured close enough to the house to be captured by her eager little hands. And catch one she did. He was a big ole frog, with a big giant mouth, and she was so enamored with him that she carried him all over the place to enjoy adventure after adventure with her. She lovingly named him Rico the frog, and she was most certain that he would be venturing home with us at the end of the long summer day.

This particular lie, was birthed from her innocent little lips because of these pipe dreams of keeping Rico forever, despite the fact that we lived in an apartment in the city. You see, my little girl had a mortal enemy. A bigger, and seemingly smarter older sister, in her own mind at least, who knew that there was no way that poor frog was going to survive the day, let alone come home with us. And her bigger, smarter, older sister took it upon herself (as older sisters tend to do) to relieve my poor sweet girl of her precious pet.

But she didn't take into consideration the amount of love a little girl's heart could be capable of when her beloved frog was on the verge of freedom. And that big sister didn't even see that giant kick a-comin', but a come it did. Right on her shin. And it sent her leaping and howling up to the porch to gather comfort and justice in the arms of her mother.

Now, being a just mother, I felt I needed to hear both sides of the tale. Sisters do tend to exaggerate, you know. So I called my sweet little girl inside to hear her version of events.

"Did you kick your sister," I asked her sternly.

"Well, yes. But Rico made me do it," she blurted out quickly in her own defense.

"Rico, you say? Rico, the FROG? How on Earth could a frog MAKE you do anything?" I asked in exasperation.

"He said 'ribbit' and so I did it." She answered matter-of-factly.

Needless to say, Rico was released from her prison-like grip and let back into the wild to live out his days croaking his version of the tale to all of his children, and we still laugh about it to this day.
Stock photo courtesy of Mapichai via freedigitalphotos.net

Here are a few other hilarious tales told by kids and powered by my awesome Facebook friends:

"Julia! How did your face get so dirty?"-Daddy
"Momma tooked me to da zoo an a monkey frowed poop on me face!"- Julia, age 5. Story provided by mom, Emily.

"Did you poop in your pull-up?"
"No. My brother did it. He pulled it off, pooped in it, then put it back on me" -Isabella, age 4 speaking about her 2 year old brother. Story provided by mom, Chastity.

"My middle son and his older brother went on a 'ride around the block' in our small town in the mid seventies. Strangely, they came home with a ton if brand new bicycle accessories. Knowing that something wasn't right, I quizzed & drilled them repeatedly until the 5 year old middle son finally cracked when I asked him 'How did you carry all this stuff out of the store?' His innocent little answer--'In our socks!' Busted!" -Ann B.

"My son forged my signature (terribly) on a bad grade report and when I asked him why he did it, he told me he didn't, that I signed it in my sleep which was why it was so terribly done." -Jennifer

"My darling toddlers, Sandi and Linda, were visiting their grandma (my mom). Grandma had this circle garden in the front of her home that was loaded with blooming tulips. We went outside and heard my mom saying in a sickened voice, 'My tulips!' Yep, they were all picked! Linda says, 'Benson (the neighbor) did it!' A little while later Sandi and Linda presented their grandma with the most beautiful bouquet of tulips." -Patti

Have YOUR kids ever told a whopper? Share it with me!

Then check out these great Netflix shows for your own little liar, liar pants on fire:

70197201 11749233
70287604 4167324
80011539 12868113
70254353 4103108
80026692 11880484
ANT Farm
70106286 2181907
70258405 13018238
And for the grown-ups, check out these great shows on Netflix with a lie or two in the story-line:

80010655 13044733
70197037 11165109
70235174 11899351
70180057 9727888
I receive complimentary Netflix service in return for my endorsement, but all opinions and referrals are 100% my own opinion.

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