I think we have all been guilty of saying things without thinking, sometimes our mouths get ahead of our brains.
But some things...SOME THINGS are just so horrible that you probably shouldn't even think them, let alone let them slip out of your pie hole.
In that spirit, I put together a list of some of the things that I think should NEVER be said to parents. EVER. Under ANY circumstances. I bet you can relate...
10. Yoga pants AGAIN, huh?! Did your washing machine break down? Or are you just slacking on your "wifely" duties??
You caught me! I have only done 50 loads THIS week...but I should just kill myself to stay caught up. And while I am at it, I should probably also squeeze myself into some "skinny" jeans and pretend I am 20 and without kids too.
9. You look like you put on a little weight! Are you expecting?
My favorite! No, I am just fat. Ya know F-A-T, the way you look after having 4 kids and not going to the gym like a crazy maniac and hiding in the closet with chocolate every time the kids are driving you batty.
Just so you know, the look on people's faces after stating you are in fact NOT pregnant is ALMOST worth the insult that you are.
8. Ooooh, you sure have your hands full! I hope you are about finished having babies...
Actually, we have decided to have 5 more! Would you like to be added to my babysitting list?
7. If I were you.....ANYTHING!
Self explanatory. You aren't me.
6. Ummm, excuse me! If you would just go ahead and GIVE IN to your child's shopping checkout lane temper tantrum we would ALL appreciate it!
I would LOVE to! I also would love to send them on home with YOU for the afternoon!
No?! Then maybe you should just turn back around. Stat.
5. I don't have kids, but ______ (insert ANY advice here)
If you don't have kids, you should STAY out of it. Please and thank-you. (Just trying to keep it civil here.)
4. If you spank your child (or discipline them in any way) I will call the police on you.
Yes! Please do. Maybe they would babysit these naughty kiddos for a couple hours so I can catch a break.
3. Oh, I could NEVER breastfeed! It's so gross! (Especially AS a mother is breastfeeding)
Well, it's a good thing I am NOT you then. And if you don't like it, why the heck are you staring so intently? Mind your manners (and eyeballs) and your own business while you are at it.
2. Looks like you are getting a little frustrated there...Maybe you should just calm down....
CALM DOWN??! Sure. I will get right on that. After I stab you with this spork in my hand.
1. You look tired! You probably could use a little break, huh?! You should go on a vacation.
Let me get RIGHT on that! Shut yer trap. UNLESS you are offering to babysit AND pay for aforementioned vacation....then I love you. No seriously. Will you pay?! Help a girl out! Don't make me resort to begging.
What would YOU add to the list?
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