A Day in the Life of a Drama Queen's Momma started one year ago today with a little old page on Facebook. I never imagined in a million years that it would grow to this. Or that it would be so popular! Thanks for giving my funny stories an audience. You rock. And if you didn't find this blog from over there, be sure to head over to Facebook and check it out.This past year has been crazy, full of ups and downs, big changes and little ones, and most of all, laughter. It is hard to believe that I have been at this whole "blogging" thing for a year now! As a little treat for my Facebook 1 year Pagiversary, I have put together my favorite tid-bits from the past year. Enjoy!
In Defense of Dad
Dad: He is just a regular guy, like daddy
Jessi: Except daddy is short, so he is probably taller
Kk: DONT SAY THAT about dad! Hes not short! He's just a little chubby...
Me: *hysterical laughter*
Dad: Ok, Ok....so the hulk isn't really like daddy...
Kaileigh: Its ok daddy! You are warm and good to snuggle!
Brennan tells a knock knock joke....
Nooo... we don't say that
OK, fine...knock knock
Okay! That's better! Teeth who?
I'm gonna knock your teeth out! *hysterical laughter*
Okay, I spoke too soon....not much better!
Naughty Lil' Stinker
So Brennan was being pretty naughty and dad asked her "Do you want a spankin?" Of course her response was "Nope" as she disappeared into the bathroom. 2 seconds later I hear "actually I do want one..." So off goes dad to the bathroom where he encounters Brennan with the sink stool wrapped around her bottom, bent over waiting for one.... I should not have been laughing so hard in the living room....
A fast learner
Me: (to hubs) I am taking some cash out of your wallet to get gas.
Hubs: (counting cash in his wallet) Well that leaves me with 65 bucks for the week...that should be good..."
Brennan: (running in from other room) Daddy, can I borrow 65 bucks?!
Mommy's Little "Helper"
It appears I have my own personal fashion consultant, in the form of a 4 year old diva.
As I was getting dressed and around in the bathrom this morning, she came in, looked me up and down, and said, and I quote, "Oooooh....mom?! You aren't planning on wearing that anywhere today are you?"
So I say, "Um, ACTUALLY, I AM planning on wearing this today.....why? Does it look bad or something?"
"Mom. Its not that simple."
Guess I better sign myself up for the next season of What Not To Wear...
A Vocabulary LessonBrennan: There's a fecker.
Me: A WHAAAATT??
Brennan: A fecker. You know. A fox and a pecker.
Brennan: A FOX AND A WOODPECKER, MOM!
Me: Oohhhh! Well Ok. Maybe we can come up with a different name for that....
Where does boob milk come from?
Brennan: When I was a baby I drank milk from your boob.
Me: Yes, you did.
Brennan: Does everyone have milk in their boobies?
Me: No, only mommys with babies. Now that you are big I don't have milk in there anymore.
Brennan: Yea! Now I get my milk from the fridge!!
Brennan: Well HOW DOES IT GET IN THERE??
Me: (thinking quick on my feet) God puts it in there for mommas to feed their babies!
Brennan: (hysterically laughing) How does God pour milk into your boobies?? Hahahaha! That is too funny, mom.
I can only imagine the cartoon in her mind of God with a big carton of milk, pouring it into womans breast. LOL. The way a childs mind works...
Brennan: Mommy! You thinkin what I'm thinkin?!
(Pinching my lips closed with her fingers)
Say mmmhmm. Say it!
Brennan: Wanna know WHAT I'm thinkin?!
Me: (Lips still pinched shut) mmhmmm
Brennan: (excited) I'm thinkin you should bring me a PRESENT!!
Well played child! Well played....
When kids learn insults
Brennan: This is my baby, Ellie Cootie Pock.
Me: Ellie. Cootie. Pock?! Bwhahahaha
Brennan: Don't laugh. I named her that cuz YOU are an Ellie Cootie Pock.
Uhhhh. Was that an insult? I think it was!
McDonald's Playland for the win...
(YES, I caved! She is just too dang cute to say "no" to sometimes...and besides...pie...and peace...)
Me: Brennan, leave your American Girl toy at the table please. I don't want to have to climb up there to "rescue" her later....
Brennan: What are you going to do IF I take it up there?
Me: I will take it away.
Brennan: And do WHAT with it?
Me: I will give it to your sister.
Brennan: Weeeellll....WHICH sister?
Me: Kk. The one who WON'T give it back.
Brennan: *hands me the doll*
Yea. I thought so. I got your games, girl. And I am one step ahead. Mom for the win.
When Good Girls Go Bad
Brennan: (cuddling up to her daddy and being all lovey-dovey) Daddy, I got a headache!
Hubs: (kissing her forehead) Oh, I'm sorry honey!
Brennan: (super sweet) Wanna know who gave me a headache?
Hubs: Who did, honey?!
Brennan: It was you.
I can't stop laughing over here! She sure can deliver some crushing news all covered in syrup. Maybe when she grows up she will work in HR. She can be the person who fires people.
...If she doesn't end up being a movie star.
What REALLY Happens When The Kids Are At Play
The kids have been *happily* playing outside for over an hour.
Me: (looks at clock) Uh, do we HAVE to?! Can't we just leave them out there? They'd be okay out there overnight, right?! They could always sleep under the deck...
Hubs: Or in the car!
Me: YES! Besides, it's not even dark yet. Let's not give up so easily.
(Goes back to watching TV)
Five minutes later
Hubs: We are bad. You know that right?!
Me: Nah. We are just smart. Now shut up before you jinx it.
The Little Lies We Tell
As a big storm is rolling in-
Brennan:*frightened* Is that thunder, momma? I don't LIKE storms!
Me: Yes. But it's ok. We are inside and safe!
Brennan: *Looking out the window* Wow! That sure is a lot of rain, momma!
Me: Yes, it's really coming down!
Brennan: Is God bowling AND crying, momma? Why would he be doing both?! ....OH, I KNOW! He is probably crying because he's not winning!....OR.....maybe he is crying because I have been so naughty....
Yea. I PROBABLY should have said something about that last part. But NOBODY said I was perfect! I wonder if that will make her pick up her markers like I have been asking her to do for the last half an hour?
What was your favorite story from this past year?
And be watching for more "Tid-Bits" in the near future
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