Sunday, August 31, 2014

Beauty Tips: Who needs magazines when you have a tween?

Okay, so I cannot take credit for the brilliance of this post. I am just going to start with that, right off the rip. 

I was upstairs pulling my daughters' beds apart (laundry day...ugh) and out falls this list from the 11 year old's bed. And I, being such a fine, upstanding mother, could NOT just put it back without looking! I mean, that would be against my moral motherly duties...right?! 

Okay, okay! I am just nosy. 


But you will be GLAD that I read it, you'll see....

Here's the highlights. (My thoughts are added in parenthesis.)

1. Putting cold cucumbers on your eyes can reduce puffiness and relieve stress.

(Okay. That makes sense. She must have snuck a Vogue upstairs or something...)

2. Lip gloss is the perfect finishing touch to ANY clothing 

(She MAY have gotten this one from me. I DO enjoy a good glossy finish! Just use my obsession for Randy Orton as a verification of that. AND the fact that I have around 20 tubes of lip gloss in my mom bag purse.)

3. Make sure to wash your face EVERY night before bed, even if it is late and you don't want to.

4. Worrying causes wrinkles. Make sure to not scrunch up your face when stressed.

(So THAT is why I am getting those crows feet. Ugh. How does one "avoid" face scrunching? I think I am doing it as I write this!)

5. Laughter is good for the body and soul and also brings colors to your face.

(Colors?? Just as long as it doesn't bring bright purple or something!)

6. Make sure to get your beauty sleep.

7. The mall is a social fishbowl. It is important to look your best.

(What the HECK? A social FISHBOWL?! What does that even MEAN?)

8. If you're out of blush, just pinch your cheeks a few times to bring some color to your face.

(Was she talking to my grandma recently?!)

9. DON'T pick at your face when nervous or anxious. Or chew on your lips.

10. Test foundation on your cheeks. The perfect color will should practically disappear.

11. If you have dark circles under your eyes, blush will help distract from that area.

(Pass the blush, yo! This momma's under eyes look like they were in a boxing match! But an even BETTER piece of advice for avoiding dark circles: Don't have kids! Then you can get enough sleep to avoid the whole problem!)

12. Give color a chance to enhance your mood.

(If that was all it took, I would just go around looking like Mimi of "The Drew Carrey Show" and be flying high folks!)

13. Crying will make your skin blotchy or red, but makes you feel better.

(True dat.)

14. A new lipstick can be as exciting as a new pair of jeans.

(Wow. Just. Wow. How exciting IS getting new jeans? Last time I went jeans shopping, I couldn't even consume enough wine! I can't EVER find a pair that fits right. And then when I do, the price tag makes me wanna keel right over. Not my kind of excitement. Somebody PLEASE clue me on how to jump on THIS train!)

15. Bangs are a good solution for people with big foreheads.

(Bwhahahahahahaha! That's good advice right there!)

16. Take suggestions for different kinds of makeup from people you trust.

(Ugh. I seriously hope the only makeup advice she ever asks for is from me! She is 11 for goodness sakes! And naturally beautiful. And besides, I have seen the way some of these middle school girls apply makeup...EEEEK!)

17. A POSITIVE ATTITUDE goes a long way when it comes to beauty in life. 

(I just love this girl. For real. I guess she IS listening AFTER ALL...<3)

Which beauty tip is YOUR fave?

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  1. Lol! "A social fishbowl". Lmao. Smart little lady!

  2. What is a social fish bowl?!?! Personally I love grandma's cheek pinching.. There is not enough blush to cover up these bags. But 17. Is my favorite! What a wonderfully brilliant child you have there!!! ♡

  3. These absolutely rock! I'm seriously favoriting this! What an amazing kid.

  4. Oh yeah, I meant to add that I tend to view the mall more as a social experiment gone terribly wrong. I always somehow start feeling like I may possibly have undiagnosed agoraphobia when I'm there for more than 30 mins. And I'm with ya on the jeans thing too-a COMPLETE nightmare for me! lol

  5. Loved it - very funny. My great-grandma used to tell me to pinch my cheeks but I had no idea girls today had ever heard of that! Love the dark circles one, too (especially your comments). The whole post was great.

  6. Ha! Loved this!

    My grandma used to tell me to pinch my cheeks. Lip gloss is a must (as is mascara).

    The mall is a social fishbowl?! LOL I guess when you're a tween.

    Thanks for sharing and linking up to the #SHINEbloghop.

    Wishing you a lovely weekend.

  7. LOl I read a lot............